Revenge secret Santa for the office b£#@!

[Surewhyknot]

I'm looking for the worst, most subtle insulting secret Santa gift for the office stirrer.. limit is £10 and we're opening them in person.

I'm torn between a pair of secondhand socks or a homemade loo roll cozy al la your grandma!

What are the worst you've had? Can I cast insult without being too overt??

Bland, bland, bland then opt out gracefully for every future minefield SS.

They're way too taxing for something that's supposed to be fun.

Sure fire way for you to be labelled the next office b@*<#

Brilliant!!!

If you must do this, then give a donation to charity. At least you won't waste your money. They'll get fuck all. And hopefully some good will come of it somewhere.

Colleague did this to my boss once and they were gutted that their Christmas present was a mosquito net for some impoverished child somewhere. But at least the money went to good use.

Porn DVD and a packet of tissues got secret Santa banned for a while

Oh I get it, you want to potentially embarrass someone publicly whom you think is not very nice by… being not very nice!

A book called 'How to poo at work, and a bottle of poopourri!

This one is the best option 100% - not nasty but doesn't give the receiver (bully) anything

If you do this, you're the arsehole.

Agreed. And if she is unhappy about it, it looks bad on her.

One of my best friends once bought me a Cow in africa. She was delighted with her idea. Me not so much......

Office Horrible manager, when leaving her post, got the office (grammar pedant) narc a copy of 'Eats, shoots and leaves' as a pointed gift. All hell broke loose when narc went for her.

Bayliss and Harding is perfect.

Femfresh

This

Jokey Secret Santas are only funny when you get on with the person you're buying for and have that type of relationship, otherwise it's just passive bullying. We do this in our family but even so, there are some that would not get the joke and would feel offended so they get a normal gift.

Please, please don't buy something intended to degrade or humiliate the recipient, no matter how much you feel they "deserve" that.

I had a colleague who some thought was quite uptight, one Christmas she received a pack of sexual massage oils that she had to open in front of everyone. It was awful.

Just spend £10 on a nice gift set, there are loads available.

That’s horrible.

I was going to come on and say get a really p.a. book like “the bitch” by Jackie Collins but it’s probably not worth the potential fallout!

What a nasty thread, and nasty concept.

Someone else may start a thread looking for £10 ideas for the office bully.

It’s nasty and cruel to even contemplate doing something like this. Clearly the mean girls haven’t grown up from their school days.

I agree with this

if she's participating in secret Santa it's most likely in good faith and she may well have spent £10 or more on something nice for someone and should get something nice back

if you really don't want to buy a nice gift for her is there someone you could swap with?

I wouldn’t do this. It might be tempting but it could backfire.

maybe just ask if you can take somebody else’s name instead and you won’t have to buy that person anything.

This, got it for my birthday this year, I was not happy, it was expensive stuff too.

Oh goodness this too, dream about it, definitely don’t do it though . Be a better person than her

Don't do it. It is just spiteful

I got someone I HATED for SS once. And in the end I tried to get them a nice present - posh alcoholic chocs in a little crate.

anyway they thought it was a generic gift and were totally fucked off. It was 100% excellent.

baylish and Harding all the way.

Poohead!

Just go for something generic. Don't stoop to being unpleasant or passive aggressive.