Revenge secret Santa for the office b£#@!

[Surewhyknot]

I'm looking for the worst, most subtle insulting secret Santa gift for the office stirrer.. limit is £10 and we're opening them in person.

I'm torn between a pair of secondhand socks or a homemade loo roll cozy al la your grandma!

What are the worst you've had? Can I cast insult without being too overt??

I’m not talking about the replies, I’m talking about the many and adores about people using Secret Santa to be nasty to someone. Yes it’s depressing.

*anecdotes not adores

There have been quite a few stories from people sharing their own experiences about when they’ve been on the receiving end of a ‘joke’ present in secret Santa. Maybe that’s what they were referring to?

Oh, I forgot one that was totally intended to be a Fuck You, Bitch. It was a few years after the shitty workplaces and I was considerably more robust emotionally by then. It wasn't through work, though - it was the XSIL, who had clearly decided that I was dodgy, as her first action when my pregnancy was announced was to ask the ex 'Are you absolutely sure that it's yours?'.

Generic box of secondhand tat, plus a boring, medicinal scented bubble bath and a gel facemask.

The bubblebath sorted out my Psoriasis and transformed my skin and the facemask, once chilled, ended my constant migraines.

I made a point of telling everybody what a wonderful gift she'd given me, the gift of an instantly migraine free life.

I've never seen somebody so desperate to escape.

Fan bloody tastic!

Never a better story than when a person sets out to hurt or slight another person and ends up unwittingly doing them a wonderfully good turn instead.

What does depress me is that so many people devote so much time to devising 'ingenious' ways to try to make others miserable. Sounds a pretty impoverished existence to me.

This reminded me of a recent discussion with a friend, who said she'd realised that every single ex-wife she knows had come to view the OW this way, sooner or later: as a blessing in disguise. I thought about the ex-wives I know, and agreed!

Some of these posts are so, so upsetting. Big un-Mumsnetty hugs to the lot of you who've been on the receiving end of such cruelty.

I love doing SS. One year I got someone who was always only just about in work on time. In my naivety I was going to get him an alarm clock because I thought it would be a laugh and he'd find it funny. But then he mentioned that he hated jokey SS presents. He didn't I know I had him. I ended up getting him a book I knew he'd love, which he did. Since then I've always made the effort to find something I know the person will really like, whatever they are like towards me. I really enjoy it and it's changed how i think about people for the better.

This is part of the problem. Even those who don’t mean to be unkind think a funny present is a good idea - but “funny” that puts the joke on the receiver of the present is never a good idea - it’s always unkind at best, downright cruel and malicious at worst.

Absolutely. The whole situation had a profound impact on me to this day. I'm so glad I had the conversation with him and avoided being unkind, however unintentionally.

I love this post 💙

I don't get why three mugs is so insulting?

@OnlyheretovoteonAIBU &@Lolabear38

I wasn’t talking about the replies. There haven’t been many anecdotes of people being given malicious presents. Maybe 3 or 4 (photo, mouthwash, bowl and a plastic turd ). A couple admit poor presents but done without intent ( blow up doll)
Quite a few more people have had presents they’ve been disappointed with but there’s no evidence to suggest the giver chose them to make a point.

Lots of thread suggestions about giving the money, Bayliss & Harding, chocolates and mug. So now everyone who’s ever been given these is paranoid that it was done to be nasty. It’s secret santa. It’s not an appraisal.

I don't think Bayliss & Harding is held in great contempt outside of Mumsnet. It's a gift of smellies that you can pick up in the supermarket. Like a box of Green and Black's. It's not very inspired but it's seen by many as relatively nice for a supermarket gift.

I don't get the hate for it anyway. It's no more offensive than a bottle of chemical blue Carex handwash. It's just toiletries.

Jesus, there are some unpleasant people about.

About here, I mean.

“I don't think Bayliss & Harding is held in great contempt outside of Mumsnet. It's a gift of smellies that you can pick up in the supermarket.”

The answer is in what you’ve written. The fact that you just sling it in the trolley at the supermarket with absolutely no thought whatsoever is what makes it contemptuous. Mumsnet isn’t some separate isolated community - you unwrap a B&H gift set and everyone instantly knows that the giver gave no fucks whatsoever. If that’s what you give then you’re not in some superior part of the societal Venn diagram - you’re just a shit gift-giver.

And equally it can be bought for you by your very elderly neighbour who managed to struggle down to the chemist 5 minutes away to buy you something she thinks is a lovely little treat.

Just because it is easy to get from local shops and supermarkets does not always make it a give no fucks gift.

What @ArcaneWireless said but also have you stopped to think that some people might only be able to afford Baylis and Harding or Lynx?

Yes, it's not an awful gift. It has decent packaging compared to most of the other toiletries in the supermarket and I assume the product itself is okay. I can see how someone who isn't a huge follower of the beauty industry would see a Baylis and Harding gift set and think it was a "nice treat"

Lynx on the other hand is more of a meme gift these days.

In my previous role we did secret Santa.

Somebody got me a bottle of lube, an open nose hair trimmer, some weird little light up monster and a couple of other random bits.

I was pregnant at the time and found it really upsetting. Everybody else (literally!) got really nice, thoughtful presents.

Now I’m panicking they thought I was the office stirrer!!!

No, I’m perfectly happy if I get Bayliss and Harding - even from family. I usually get some at Christmas. It definitely does not mean no fucks are given or that the giver is a shit gift giver. I think that attitude is disgusting. The fact that they thought to give me a present is enough. The fact that it’s easily attainable and cheap is fine - a plus point. The hostile, rude and greedy attitude on here to a perfectly acceptable, easily available, nicely presented and not expensive bath/shower products is completely weird to me - and it’s spoiling it for me.

And why is a mug and hot chocolate sachet from the Christmas aisle so much better? Or something you bought online without even getting off the sofa? Or Soap and Glory smellies that you bought in Boots?

How much thought and effort and legwork are you supposed to put into a £5 Secret Santa for Shirley in HR? And why can't you sling it into your trolley? How lovingly are you supposed to cradle it to the till?

I've never heard anyone complain about B&H outside of Mumsnet. Sure, smellies aren't the most inspired gift but this idea that it's an actual brand of insult, universally, is ridiculous. Smellies are popular because they're usually safe and everyone needs soap.

Don't lower yourself OP, buy the nicest thing you can.

Or is the bayliss and harding gift giver just poor and the people here slagging them off are doing it to somebody who could have done without the expense, but wanted to join in?

Not really a secret Santa story, but still one I found funny
Years ago, I had a manager who was dating a staff member. And my colleague and I were real wind up merchants. He came in one day, with a huge love bite on his neck. So, we teased him about it. Nothing mean, just the three of us there, a bit of gentle ribbing. Anyway, he came up with this story about seeing a clip on TV where someone had made a bruise on their neck with an empty milk bottle, so he’d tried it out to see if it worked.
Christmas rolls around, and we had our staff Christmas lunch. There is the odd award at the lunches, And tokens of appreciation. And, you’ve guessed it - in a nicely wrapped parcel, under the tree, is an empty milk bottle

So many holier-than-thou responses! If I got our office’s bully as my giftee, it would certainly cross my mind to give her a little taste of her own medicine!

Sponsor a donkey or make a donation to a charity on her behalf and present her with that. At least then she’ll get naff all and the money will go to a good cause.