This is going to be controversial but...

[rosesarered95]

I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent" to live in their own home. Wouldn't you rather help them by allowing them to save as much money as possible (especially in this current economy) instead of taking money from them which may reduce the amount that they can save each month, resulting in it taking them a bit longer to move out?

I bought my own property on my own aged 25 and would have never been able to achieve this if I wasn't allowed to stay at home rent free and save as much of my salary as I could. Can I just add, I contributed to the household in other ways e.g cooking for the family weekly, cleaning etc.

I totally understand charging your children rent if you are on a lower income and genuinely need the money, but if this is not the case for you, why do you charge your children rent?

Quite. While I was charged to live at home from age 12, I didn’t gain anything from it but yet more resentment and anger towards my parents. I learned budgeting skills. Yippee.

For my DC, I’ve never charged them a penny and they all know how to budget! Amazing! Three are in their 20s and pay their rent on their flat shares, set up and pay utility bills, allocate weekly money for a food shop…wow! How on Earth can this be?!

Oh, wait could it be that its possible to teach budgeting skills without role playing at being a grasping greedy slumlord?

I think it's wrong to assume people who aren't charged rent living at home have no idea how to budget or are cocklodgers etc.

My parents didn't charge either of us rent but we paid for our own phone bills (in the days of landlines/itemised bills) to have a sky box in our rooms and for our personal toiletries. We were all actively saving for a house deposit and bought before we were 25. We budgeted whilst still at home so we could maximise how much we were saving and gave ourselves a set amount of spending money so weren't just buying crap.

My DS is 16 and has an unusually high paying job for his age, he saves 70% of his earnings currently. We don't charge him at all and also still pay for his travel to college and provide his meals etc. I don't see how this encourages them to be spongers.

The OP specifically asked why if you can afford not to do you charge rent.

If they moved away and came back in between houses and weren't in any difficulties financially for whatever reason then I would probably charge something as it would be saving them money but whilst they are trying to save for a house I just wouldn't want to if I could afford not to. It would be virtually impossible these days to save and rent at first.

@LuckySantangelo35

This!! Exactly how your child(ren) will think of you.

Completely agree, young adults need all the help they can get these days if they are to have a hope of purchasing their own home.

Or you could take some of your son’s earnings and have a couple of weeks on the Costa del Sol…😂

Maybe I should, I could do with some sun 😂

If the DCs were dreadful with money I could understand taking rent of them and saving it but I would much prefer they understood the importance of budgeting/saving themselves without me having to trick them into it.

Some families need the money. Others might do it so their adult DC don;t stay children forever, living off mum and dad. If they had a good work ethic and were saving hard that would be one thing. But many just coast around at home and forget that someone pays for heating, water, TV, food, because it has always magically appeared on demand. They need to learn these things have to be paid for.

Oddly enough, the vast majority of people on this thread who paid rent upon starting full time work as adults don't seem to be looking back on their parents as "grasping slum landlords".

That's because you are conflating cultural beliefs with low income.

My son has disposable income of around £1400 a month. I have very little disposable income. Of course he can pay a minimal rent towards the council tax and energy costs.

I always paid a minimal rent, phone contract, petrol for my car etc. My parents have been able to help me with a house deposit, buy a car- over the years they have been extremely generous. But they also taught me the value of earning money and paying my way, budgeting for the month and being responsible for myself. To me that was the point.

My parents never charged me and my brother rent. I wouldn't charge my child.

If they wanted things that didn't already exist in the house like specific food, WiFi, Netflix (just examples) then they could pay for them.

Referring to parents as grasping greedy slumlords, whatever slumlord means. Do you get any more far reaching than this? OP, you knew exactly what you were aiming for with this thread.

We plan to ask ds to contribute for his food because it's like feeding a never ending pit.

He easily eats through about £50 a week groceries by himself and earns £1400 a month so has plenty spare to save!

So what would you all do in my situation.

Lost my house in 2007 to divorce.

I earn £2000 a month after deduction

Single parent to 1 child financially independent.

I child on minimum wage but subletting so no UC help. (So need to help him to the tune of £200 a month)

1 child at Uni which asses me at £247 per month.. ( because they do no t understand that Uni students come from rented homes)

My rent is £1000 per month
Less my ineligible children

Leaving me £600 a month to live on..
(My commute alone is £300)

If they lived at home would I 'charge'
TOO BLOODY RIGHT I WOULD !!

It’s “slumlord” and parental gaslighting can last a lifetime. Ifywim

@Randlehandle

No, actually, I think that is what a lot of other posters on this thread have done.

Many, many posters have been very quick to jump on op to point out that they don't have a choice about charging rent because they can't afford not to.

I'm just saying that there might be more to it than that and used my DH's family as an example.

Some parents would never dream of taking money from their teenage children even if it would make their lives much easier.

We would only charge enough to cover the increased food bills and electric.

Look, I'm sorry you had to pay your way at 12. That's awful from your parents and I doubt anyone on this thread would argue otherwise.

But it's still entirely hyperbolic to liken working adults paying for the amenities they use to being beholden to "slumlords".

Sadly, I can attest to that. It’s so sad to read of others, some gleefully, doing this to their own children.

Yes, it’s hyperbole, but strangely you haven’t objected to all the hyperbole used to describe DCs who do not pay their parents rent? And there’s well, probably a ratio of at least 10:1 in terms of hyperbole use regarding DCs who don’t pay rent to my 1 “slumlord” 🤔

@Perfectpeace

know my kid well do you?

They’ll be brought up to see me as a person, not just a facilitator to their needs and wants

so no they won’t begrudge me spending some of their keep money on a break away

they would rather put in some money toward their keep and the rising costs of bills than me miss out on a holiday

cos they are not totally self centred

@Perfectpeace

surely you wouldn’t argue against the above?

Look, when I've got a spare few hours I'll go back and critique each post individually.

But, as far as I'm aware, I'm allowed to argue for my own position on a public forum without having to moderate and disclaim the posts of everyone who happens to take the same position.

See, this is broadly how I felt about contributing towards rent when I turned 18.
And I'm young enough that my memory of financial extortion under the slave driver I called mum (damn, Freudian slip!)/paying for what I used at less than the market rate is still fairly recent.

No, they sound lovely. It’s you who is selfish.