This is going to be controversial but...

[rosesarered95]

I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent" to live in their own home. Wouldn't you rather help them by allowing them to save as much money as possible (especially in this current economy) instead of taking money from them which may reduce the amount that they can save each month, resulting in it taking them a bit longer to move out?

I bought my own property on my own aged 25 and would have never been able to achieve this if I wasn't allowed to stay at home rent free and save as much of my salary as I could. Can I just add, I contributed to the household in other ways e.g cooking for the family weekly, cleaning etc.

I totally understand charging your children rent if you are on a lower income and genuinely need the money, but if this is not the case for you, why do you charge your children rent?

I paid my mum rent even when I was earning a measly £3.62 an hour because she needed the money. When I turned 18, maintenance and child benefit stopped so 🤷‍♀️

I think sometimes even if the parent doesnt need the money its best for the DC. If they are shit with money, or ungrateful and dont contribute around the house in other ways, or need a kick up the arse to move out, i think charging rent is a good idea. Its all very well for some people to say 'yes but you should teach them about money and responsibility in other ways' but for some DC charging rent is a really solid way to do just that and they wont learn via hypotheticals. Some people wont do it unless they HAVE to, if you see what i mean. It doesnt have to be market rate!
Worst case scenario you could always be doing what a PP parents did and saving it to give them as a deposit.

Sorry you've touched a nerve! I'm still ranting ;)

But even if I could afford not to charge him rent, I still would!!

What are you teaching your child but letting them live there rent free???

Entitled? Much?

I'm so glad you are rich enough to afford to be able to do that.

I'm a carer for my disabled son, so I can't work. My ex pays nothing towards the mortgage, so I pay it all. (It's shared ownership so I also pay rent which I get a bit of housing benefit for)

Now my kids are adults I get no tax credits or child benefits, all of which were carefully budgeted for bills.

If they didn't pay me rent we'd all be homeless.

You really have no idea on other peoples circumstances.

My auntie did a nice thing for her children. She did charge them for living at home, but she saved up all the money they'd paid her, put it into an account for them and then gave it all back to them when they got married or moved into their own place.

My parents only charged rent when I got a job. I think that's a good balance. Else a young adult is more prone to stay at home and not flee the nest. I've seen this first hand..

I charge my son a nominal amount towards electricity and food. He has still managed to save over £8k in less than a year. When he buys his house I will give him half his deposit which he knows will happen. I have done it so he understands the cost of food and utilities. I get him to go food shopping and reimburse cost occasionally too so he sees prices with his own eyes when he is walking around store. As he is youngest I could easily afford not to charge him anything but when I had 3 at home I had to charge his sister who is eldest child, so think it would be unfair on her not to charge siblings.

If you don't charge them rent it's going to be an awfully big shock when they do move out and suddenly don't have a huge disposable income at the end of each month - or they never leave because real life feels 'too expensive'.

I would always charge rent and bills, with it clear how much for each so they get used to paying for all the different things. I'd put it all into a savings account for them if I could afford to for when they did move out - but I would definitely always charge.

I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent" to live in their own home.

Why do you need to understand anything except that each family does what works for them?
Personally we wouldn't need the money and DD is a sensible young adult who saves what she doesn't need to spend. It's perfectly easy to understand this doesn't apply to everyone, and that it's none of anyone else's business.

Haha - the OP is basically 'my parents did x so x must be right'!

I intend to charge a low rent because I think that's the mutually beneficial thing to do - they get cheap housing, we don't subsidise. I'm likely to support in other ways when I can so the money would probably be recycled anyway, but imo the principle of paying your way applies to everyone who can. They gain the status of independent adult which has value.

I wasn't charged rent. I can see it from different sides. My other half was, he's better with money than me, is that because he paid rent and learnt the value of saving etc?

My kids are only small.

But I've thought about getting them to pay rent, only once in full time work, not a huge amount and keeping the money and gifting it back to them when they move out?

I can totally see it that some people do need to charge rent. It would be a privilege to not have to.

It's not good for young people to suddenly have a large amount of disposable income with no outgoings.

I told my son that if he wanted to take a gap year which he was considering at one point he would have to pay rent. That is because I know that if he didn't he would have no incentive to go out and get a job and he would spend what he earnt on crap. Some young people with a large disposable income would get into drinking heavily, smoking or worse.

Dh's sister left school at 16 and was never charged rent. She ended up living at home until she was 30.

my child makes as much as me spends it all on himself recently booked a holiday does nothing to help me in the house but I have to wash and clean for him and buy his food/travel he's basically living like a lodger plus taking up space we need so you bet your life I'll be charging him rent

I’ll be charging my DD £20 digs a week, it’ll go into a savings account for when she’s ready to leave home. That was the norm when I was a teenager (though my own mum never did that with me!)

It depends imo.

... on the parents' financial circumstances.
... on the child's situation (studying? working? what kind of degree? etc)
... on the child's personality and attitude to saving
... on how many children are in the house still.

Our son has moved back after university, he earns more than me and is more than happy to help with the extra expense it's costing us to have one more adult in the house. Seriously, how can people not understand we need his help to keep the house running - it's lovely having him back but it also costs more! Are people so stupid not to realise we, and many others, cannot afford to keep another adult and a 17 year old?

I did it for a while when I was young. It wasn’t really ‘rent’ but a contribution to the household expenditures, because my Mum was a single parent and wasn’t flush, and I was working. It taught me that life ain’t free if nothing else. I remember the first time I saw my Mum’s electricity, gas and phone bills. Rude awakening!

But things were different then, I suppose (late 90s). I didn’t have an expectation of buying somewhere to move in to. Nobody I knew in their early or mid twenties was thinking about mortgages. When I did move out, it was into a rented room in a flat share like all of my peers who didn’t manage to get a council fiat. Rents were high in London even then, but not as bonkers as they are now.

I probably won’t charge my kids rent if they are young adults living with me, providing they save. But I do wonder how people learn to be adults these days. It must be a shock to go from no expenses at Mum & Dad’s house straight into paying a mortgage and bills.

I think rent should be charged, even if its a token gesture payment. You have an adult in the household, eating meals, using hot water. It is right to contribute towards that expenditure and teaches a valuable lesson in responsibility and budgeting. I don't think any parent charges anywhere close to what a private rental would cost and there is still plenty of opportunity to save.

Nearly every adult I know who had a parent who paid for their way into adulthood is in some way a bit spoiled and entitled, no matter how much they claim to feel 'fortunate and lucky.'

No, I didn’t miss it.
Obviously people who do charge either do it to teach their children to budget, or to be financially responsible. Not really hard to work out

My mother charged my sister rent when she went back home. It was part of contributing to the household she lived in as an adult as she was earning money. Mum could have managed without it, and did actually put it aside (without telling my sister,) but I doubt it would have been saved otherwise- certainly not so much. I never moved back home, but I would have expected the same.

Some adult children would offer, and do their share of share of housework and so on,but many wouldn't- it can be difficult to readjust to the relationship of being parent with an adult, fully functioning child. Mum once admitted (when I was late 20s,) she found it difficult to see me as older than about 16, even though she rationally knew I was older and more responsible than some of her colleagues. I know when I went back home, it was very easy to slip back into the instinctive responses I'd had when I had lived there as a teen.

There will very some families where they need the financial contribution. There will be those where they do it because competent adults should contribute. Some will do it because otherwise, it will all be partied away, rather than only some. Some will let their adult children manage their own money and save, and some won't take any contribution nor come to an agreement about savings or be st all jnvolved. Everyone is different, as individuals and in circumstances, so people do different things.

The SHOCK when i saw my mums bills for the first time made me realise why she was always shouting about turning off lights and leaving the immersion on!

If you're in the financial position to do so, you can charge your kids "rent" and then put it into a special account for them. Once they're ready, they have a lump sum ready for them to go towards a house deposit. It's their money, they saved for it, but they weren't just getting a free ride, as it were. They were saving for their own place.

I agree with you too. I might charge mine when he is old enough but secretly save it for him as a deposit or for something else.

All households have running costs to some extent. Adults who live in a household normally contribute to the running costs, not necessarily equally but in proportion to their means. It's a good way of preparing young adults for the realities of fully independent life before they leave and set up their own homes.