This is going to be controversial but...

[rosesarered95]

I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent" to live in their own home. Wouldn't you rather help them by allowing them to save as much money as possible (especially in this current economy) instead of taking money from them which may reduce the amount that they can save each month, resulting in it taking them a bit longer to move out?

I bought my own property on my own aged 25 and would have never been able to achieve this if I wasn't allowed to stay at home rent free and save as much of my salary as I could. Can I just add, I contributed to the household in other ways e.g cooking for the family weekly, cleaning etc.

I totally understand charging your children rent if you are on a lower income and genuinely need the money, but if this is not the case for you, why do you charge your children rent?

Of course you don’t want them living rent free, you want your holiday 😞

@Perfectpeace

i do yep! 😊

my kids don’t need to live rent free, they can contribute to the costs of the house they live in.

@Perfectpeace I'm beginning to wonder if you live in a completely different world. My dc that live elsewhere don't do that through choice, they go where the work is. The one who lives at home is very very fortunate that they are able to do so but I don't see why I should be out of pocket for their choice.

I don’t think they do believe the children are doomed to fail, it is just a handy excuse to use as a reason for taking money they don’t need.

@Perfectpeace

this!

We are clearly living in different worlds and applying very different thought processes. I’m confident in my choices so will leave you to your maudlin and frankly, ridiculous perceptions.

You are using your child’s money to have a holiday, just own it and stop making up daft reasons as why. It’s not to benefit them in any way, just you. Hopefully they will remember that in years to come.

Because then your child can save towards their own home and move out sooner rather than later? It’s hard enough for anyone to get on the property ladder these days so if you can afford to allow your child to save then why wouldn’t you?

I charged my adult DD rent when she lived here as she is an adult and adults pay their way. I didn't raise her to sponge off people, especially not her parents.

Exactly. Why should an adult, earning a wage, using the facilities and eating the food, not pay their way? All adults sharing a house have responsibilties towards the running of the household, financial and practical.

Spot on, we absolutely live in different worlds. I don’t wish to live in one where one of my children has to subsidise the choices of the other.

@Perfectpeace

i am owning it!

and I should hope they remember all the lovely things I did for them when younger too 😊

They’ll only remember you using their cash to fund your lifestyle, believe me. Happy holiday 😊

An extra person in the house tends to mean more money on heating/electric/water/food (and with young adults, it tends to be quite a lot more on food!)

Why a working adult should have that subsidised by their parents, I don't know.

I know that the money I gave my mum when I started paying rent allowed her to go out properly with her friends, to visit family in other parts of the country. Plus, just to generally have a bit more to spend on herself than she had in the previous 18 years of raising a child as a single parent. As I said in my previous post, I'm glad of it.

Maybe I'm some sort of freak, but I don't resent covering my keep as a working adult. It's perfectly fair.

Teaches money management and responsibility. It is the parents' job to teach them the skills they need to live away from home and without us, when we are not alive anymore.

I think adult children should pay even if it's just a token amount if the parents can afford it. They should have responsibility for buying/cleaning and doing certain jobs around the house too whatever the case in my opinion
It's entirely up to the parents whether they put the money aside for them or spend it on holidays , fags or gin , it's theirs to do what they want

Skills that should have been taught long before adulthood imho. As that’s what I did with my DC.

@Perfectpeace

🥺

you’ll be telling me they’ll be leaving me to rot in a home when I’m old next

@PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog funnily enough, those of us who didn't get charged to live at home do understand simple things like budgeting too.

@Perfectpeace

this!

like this poster I didn’t begrudge my mum when she would spend my keep money on things for myself and I don’t expect my kids to begrudge me using some of their keep money to go toward my holiday

my parenting involves having my child to see me as a person not just as a vessel to facilitate all their wants and needs

Well, if you didn't cater to their every whim until they're drawing their own pensions, I don't know why you'd expect any different...

My dd gives me money, includes everything. She could move out, she has enough money saved.

Don't care what anyone thinks, she is giving me to help out (single parent)

Oh you mean basic comprehension such as “I genuinely don't understand the concept of charging your children "rent".”

Riiiight.

Good for you, as someone with autism, who still finds organisation and forward planning very difficult, I had to learn it actively and still have support from DH sometimes. I am glad my parents prepared me for the challenges I have faced as an adult.