Children "dumped" no one will help. Police and SS useless.

[CadburyPurple]

A divorced mother of 4 children took them to the home of her ex sister in law and left them there saying she'll have them back on Monday.

The ex husband is homeless so has nowhere to have the children but his ex-wife says it's his weekend and his problem. But he isn't around, just his sister who has 3 children of her own, so no room for them.

Social services say the children have a home so they won't get involved, despite them being dumped on someone who can't care for them. The police say it's up to social services.

It's the neighbour of a good friend who is trying to support her but is at a loss. Surely SS have to take responsibility?

And he’s looking for a room in a house share?
How does that work for overnight contact? Even if EOW the others in the house aren’t going to accept this. If he thinks it’s acceptable to have 5 people in one room he should at least be looking for a bed sit

If he's under 35 he will only qualify for housing benefit for a house share I believe? I could be wrong.

This is child abuse and abandonment 100%.

By both parents.

You cannot just dump your children on a third party who has zero responsibility for minding them no matter what the circumstances.

If I was the ex SIL, which I strongly suspect the OP is, I would contact the police (needs to be on record regardless of what they do), similar SSs, the children's school etc. This one is 100% on the parents to resolve.

Those poor kids, being used as a pawn in adult issues. The ain't has zero responsibility here but a decent aunt will try compensate for the behaviour of the parents and do as much as possible to minimise the true extent of this in front of those kids.

The father has a car.

The father is not answering his phone.

The father now has TWO women taking the brunt of his problem, and yet
he is not answering the phone.

Perhaps Mum is struggling with depression, stress or mental illness health .....
Perhaps she just needed a break for a little while
Unfair on sis-in-law, definitely, but it's an opportunity for wider family to get involved and help ....
Working with single mums opens a whole new world of stress 😏

Assuming the kids are born pre rules change in 2017 the mum can claim up to £1398 in UC plus £260 a month child benefit plus wages subject to Uc taper rate. It’s not a small amount of money and I think with entitlement comes the responsibility of ensuring they are taken care of.

Agree

One of the reasons while Social services are so overrun, extended family, if are any can chip in occasionally

I'm not the SiL. I'm in my 70s FFS! Recent name change because a new member took my old one and added a number.

Bro is there now and trying to get in touch with ex's mother. His parents don't live locally so cannot help.

All kids fed.

We don't know enough about his finances. We shouldn't really immediately judge people for being suddenly broke. The cost of living is causing people you wouldn't normally see in trouble having to use food banks etc. Another thread on here was talking about not having much money for food. Very decent and good people are having financial trouble. If you add to that a separation, closure of workplace, no home, then let's not assume he's a terrible person. He might be but we don't know that. If it is out of character for him to not answer his phone? It's very sad that the children have been put in this situation for the weekend and I hope the adults around are doing what they can to make everything seem as ok as possible.

Such a sad and desperate situation.

She’s popped to the supermarket for a shop now so has magicked some money out of somewhere. Honestly shocked an auntie would consider leaving them at a police station.

According to the OP, he has now answered his phone.

It's my friend, the neighbour, who did a supermarket shop. I did say that.

The mother is a disgrace dumping her children at the door of a struggling single mother of 4 children. The poor sister in law stressing that she has no money to feed said kids for 2 days. I don't blame her for involving the police and social services. The father being unable to take them due to being homeless isn't the fault of the sister in law. Why do this to her?

I don't understand the hate for the father either. Is he supposed to take the kids to the park for the weekend, and then all sleep on park benches til the mother decides she's had a suitable break? If she's so concerned with the children being able to see their father, why can't she invite him to look after them in her house while she goes out.

This whole situation is so sad. Those poor kids.

Exactly, whatever the reasons/excuses the adults have , there is no reason to treat their children like this , something could have been sorted out rather than just leaving them to be cared for by the aunt.

Whatever the mum's reasoning (end of her tether as a single parent to 4 kids?! who knows!), the dad needs to step the fuck up and provide for, and be with, his children whilst they are at his sister's.

@LuciferRising I was referring to that posters own post about a different situation (maybe should have quoted) where a woman was angry that her ex just disappeared and had no contact.

It doesn’t sound like the wider family has the capacity to get involved in any massive way.

Maybe the mum is struggling. That doesn’t change the fact that what she’s just done will affect those children badly too. Even if their aunt is putting on a good game face they will know and hear bits and pieces. It’s entirely shit for them.

It's worth looking at local resources for food - we have a community larder and would put together a parcel very quickly in circumstances like these

@Viostep maybe the mother has suggested he looks after the children at her house? Given how keen he was to wash his hands of them and not take responsibility.

The mother is a disgrace dumping her children at the door of a struggling single mother of 4 children. The poor sister in law stressing that she has no money to feed said kids for 2 days

The sister should never have been dragged into this, however, the fathercan spend time with, and pay for, his children at the sister's house.

You do not know the mother's reasons for 'dumping' the children on their aunt.

He can’t magic that out of thin air though can he? Between him and the mum they have to sort of the care of their children not just crowbar them into an unsuspecting household.

She didn't magic money, a friend bought it for her.

And noone 'magics' up money, especially not a single mum living in a flat with her own kids who has suddenly been dumped with 4 kids! That money would have had to come from somewhere else, potentially leaving her short for her own kids.

The level of disdain you have for the aunt is bizarre.

Those poor children. Mother doesn't want them, Dad doesn't want them, auntie doesn't want them.

You do not know the mother's reasons for 'dumping' the children on their aunt

There are very few reasons that would make that choice acceptable.