Children "dumped" no one will help. Police and SS useless.

[CadburyPurple]

A divorced mother of 4 children took them to the home of her ex sister in law and left them there saying she'll have them back on Monday.

The ex husband is homeless so has nowhere to have the children but his ex-wife says it's his weekend and his problem. But he isn't around, just his sister who has 3 children of her own, so no room for them.

Social services say the children have a home so they won't get involved, despite them being dumped on someone who can't care for them. The police say it's up to social services.

It's the neighbour of a good friend who is trying to support her but is at a loss. Surely SS have to take responsibility?

I absolutely agree but given the children are at his sister's house he can be with them and pay for them/take them out. He is not absolved of responsibility because he does not have a fixed address.

Sounds like the mother has had enough of her twat of an ex. Horrible for the kids though poor things.

If he’s not working then how’s he meant to take them out? I wouldn’t send my dc out for hours knowing the most their df could do is sit in a soggy park in October and maybe stretch to a couple of crappy snacks. It sounds awful and I wouldn’t put my dc through that.

To the posters saying that the DC should be taken to a police station - this is crazy. A police station is NOT the place for kids when experiencing trauma (because that's what it will be).

I'm sure police and SS will do slow time work on this but today does not warrant emergency foster care and even if it did it still wouldn't be in the DC best interests.

SIL should just deal with this weekend and then speak with SS about her concerns on Monday.

Those poor kids.

As someone who doesn’t like my sil or other peoples children even I couldn’t be as cold hearted as to call the police and social on her.

Id call it a surprise sleepover party and feed them cheap crap. Pizza and chips with popcorn and stick a movie on Netflix everyone sleeps on the floor in the livingroom yay.

The brother does need to step up as much as possible he can’t just not see his children because his poor. Walks are free, asking a family member like a sister to crash four nights a month and he pays for all food for those nights. It’s possible.

He's trying to get in touch with gran? So mum is AWOL?

I was a single mum from when my child was 9 months old , her father did disappearing acts and eventually he decided to take me to court for visitation (which I'd never denied him anyway) , he then , more often than not wouldn't have her for his weekend, it never ever occurred to me to take her to his sisters and leave her there, even if I'd made plans for my weekend , I just cancelled everything and got on with it.
Neither parent in this case has covered themselves in glory.

I'm conjecturing here but considering the dad is sofa surfing/homeless, I would assume the sister is not able financially/mentally/logistically able to offer her house for contact or it would already be happening.

I wouldn't be having my brother homeless or unable to see his kids if I could help. She either doesn't want to (her perogative) or she can't. Either way, it's not on her! I'd be livid if I was the sister.

We are all going to see an awful lot more of this type of scenario, public services are fit to burst.....
Many many single mum go to extreme lengths to make sure their children have the basics..... of course, Dad's must take some responsibility, but if he's homeless, then where does he take the kids?
Have you seen the state of parks & libraries recently .....

You cannot just dump your children on a third party who has zero responsibility for minding them no matter what the circumstances.
If I was the ex SIL, which I strongly suspect the OP is, I would contact the police (needs to be on record regardless of what they do), similar SSs, the children's school etc. This one is 100% on the parents to resolve.

While I agree I know DSis ex did this a lot and no one seemed to care - left DN at door step as DSis was out only stopped that when a neighbour of DSis told him off - then started dumping her on our parents doorstep - so they felt they could never go anywhere just in case.

He could have left her at his Mum's - she isn't a bad GP - but never did that - it was random when he'd just had enough.

The father in this scenario needs to have the children during the day at the very least.

I find it unbelievable that their Auntie cannot have them for a couple of nights.

Whilst I don't condone the mother's behaviour, she's probably at the end of her tether and has acted out of desperation.

HE needs to take responsibility for HIS children. And shame on the auntie for calling the police and social services and exacerbating an already stressful and traumatic time for the children.

None of the 3 adults should be proud of themselves.

Bro is there now and trying to get in touch with ex's mother. His parents don't live locally so cannot help.

So rather than coming to a (less than ideal) one off weekend arrangement with his sister he wants to send the kids to his former MIL?

So dad is homeless and can’t have them. We get that. What I don’t get is why people can’t see the mum is massively at fault. Yes, hugely annoying for her that dad can’t have them “on his weekend”. However, kids didn’t choose to be part of all this so she should have put that aside to care for her kids. Yes, people saying she may be working etc etc. This is all assumption, OP hasn’t said that. Bottom line is, if you have to care for your kids, they come first.

I am also fed up of people’s reliance on the state. Only in the UK! Other countries across the world, families step in to help! OP moaning about how rubbish police and social services are. No, the parents are shit and aunt can’t be inconvenienced for one weekend to have them.

The brother does need to step up as much as possible he can’t just not see his children because his poor

Tbf, he can choose not to see his children for no reason at all. He doesn't have to see them

What would be pretty bizarre would be having a woman arrive at the police station (where they deal with crime, last time I checked) with her nieces and nephews expecting to leave them there!

Oh and stop calling her ex-SIL when she's their Aunt.

I find it unbelievable that their Auntie cannot have them for a couple of nights.

She lives in a 2 bedroom flat with 3 kids. Where does she put an extra 4 kids?

@OriginalUsername2 my thoughts exactly.

We don't know what the situation is though.

I'm beyond horrified at the idea of dumping four children on someone. Perhaps gran is better able to take them than aunt?

@CadburyPurple we are talking about a weekend! Not for her to have them long term. Kids go camping and for sleepovers where they just sleep where there is space. Sorry but a weekend is not a big ask. These adults are all so selfish and only thinking of themselves.

Can't he stay at his sisters and look after his own kids? They can camp in the living room.

On the bloody floor! Have you heard of a sleepover? Concerned neighbour and 70+ year old friend of neighbour can surely rustle up a few blankets and pillows.

But the mom decides not to for a night and she's the devil?

And where does she find the bedding for 4 extra children? And they will have to sleep on the floor - the beds are full.

They can top and tail in beds and sleep on sofa cushions on the floor.

My daughter had a friend for a sleepover last night and they both chose to sleep on her bedroom floor not the beds as they thought it would be fun.

Not rocket science for a short-term solution.