Daughter pregnant

[aliceinshackles]

My 24yr daughter announced she's pregnant.
I'm worried sick.

She has serious mh issues and medication resistant epilepsy. She's on waiting list for brain surgery.
She takes 11 tablets of various anti convulsants and mh meds.
I've used the BNF to check these meds and pregnancy and a lot of the meds are toxic to the baby and can cause bad withdrawals.

She's known to social services so I imagine they will be in touch when she goes to the midwife.

She did drink a lot and take drugs.
Both her and her partner have been in prison so low on the council house list, she wants to move closer to us.

Not sure what I want but my head is flying everywhere, I'm epileptic as well and both her & her brother were effected by my meds during pregnancy. Withdrawals and mainly didn't feed for 3 days and very sleepy.

I'm worried about her mh , we think this is because some of her close friends have recently given birth.

Please calm me down.
She's coming to see me today with her partner.

All the best @aliceinshackles - many women have to juggle medical issues whilst pregnant. Sounds like your daughter is fully prepared to talk to the right people and take on board advice.

if this is her wish I wish her a safe and healthy pregnancy, and offer you congrats on being a Nana.

I am still in shock tbh.
Today I'm in work. Got the right day this time 😂

She looked scared stiff when she arrived. First thing I did was give her a hug and a kiss .
And she loved the brownies

I notice very few people seem to care about the child here. It's hardly mentioned by anybody. That's a shame as that little person that might have to try to live with any potential fallout.

Tone deaf post.

from the update you are now happy with how things are looking - so massive congratulations and I really hope it all goes really well for you all 😁😍

Sounds like she is approaching it all very sensibly.

Congratulations and I hope everything goes smoothly for you all

OP has spoken with her daughter and seems her daughter has her ducks in a row. Lots of women with chronic illnesses become great mothers and epilepsy is one of the most common chronic illnesses about. You probably know at least one epileptic as it’s mostly an invisible illness. Unfortunately attitudes like yours mean many people live in shame and don’t feel able to advise friends, which contributes to societal fear of the illness and poor health outcomes.

OP sounds reassured and happy for her daughter. So both deserve congratulations and support. Take your judgement elsewhere.

I am so glad to hear that your daughter is early on- the folic acid will be so beneficial and the doctor will be able to prescribe that and refer to neurology and obstetrics. (I am currently pregnant and epileptic and under both because of the epilepsy) she should also be put under the mental health midwives which should mean she will have the same one throughout and will be seen more frequently (nothing to worry about just want to make sure she gets the support and the appointments are normally scheduled for longer)

congratulations I hope all goes well and soon enough with plenty of support your daughter and her partner will be welcoming their child and will be amazing parents.

You are right. Apologies.

@aliceinshackles I am so pleased for you both, I bet she will never forget that hug x

PS. Just randomly started crying as I typed that!!

She may surprise, she may not. You are only talking of potential positives but what happens in case of negatives? Who will take care of baby? Baby's father is estranged from parents.
Did you also take 11 meds a day like Op's daughter? She also has OCD and personality disorder in addition to medicine resistant epilepsy. How will her OCD and personality disorders disappear on arrival of baby?
Poor child will be neglected badly.

My mum ALWAYS drilled it into me from young that if I was careless and got pregnant it would be my responsibility to bring the baby up and not hers. Rightly so! She also explained how very very hard and draining it all is. She explained its rewarding but you need to be 110% sure before embarking on motherhood. It really sank in. She wasn't frightening me but being a realist. It's not putting her off per se, but she needs to understand the realism of baby life.

She wasn't frightening me but being a realist. It's not putting her off per se, but she needs to understand the realism of baby life.
Not just that but the realism of supporting, looking after and keeping the child safe and secure for the many years of childhood
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Hi all.
Just as a loss at this. Daughter has bad toothache. Taking paracetamol
She phoned 111 to get an emergency dentist appointment.
Instead they have booked her a hospital appointment to have her bloods done due to the paracetamol levels can harm an unborn baby.
Then told her they were putting a safeguard referral in because she took the recommended amount of paracetamol.
Anyone know why?

We know that ss will get involved anyway, but safeguarding for paracetamol?

Do you mean she accidently took over the recommended 4g/24hours? I assume they asked her how much she'd taken and she told them the amount. If they think it's an overdose (accidental therapeutic) then she needs to be seen ASAP and started on the treatment (NAC) for a staggered overdose. The blood levels are not of use in a staggered overdose (vs. an acute - when someone takes a large amount all at once) so the guidelines from when I last did an on call was to start treatment depending on if the dose taken is high enough (calculated using body weight). I'm sorry I can't advice on the SS aspect. I hope she'll be okay

That's very worrying and doesn't sound quite right.

Could she have overdosed by mistake? Or was she taking co-codamol?

She's had her bloods done at the hospital and waiting for results and a what the hell is going on

She was taking the recommended amount
I'm pondering if they can see her past medical history?
Would that be a trigger?

It seems a little much to refer her for accidental paracetamol overdose.

Did your DD check with a health professional before taking paracetamol re safety in early pregnancy? I understand the need for caution but that doesn’t mean she should be in pain.

Just because the hospital have made the referral doesn’t mean it will be acted on by SS at this stage.

I hope your DD recovers well

I've had a message that her bloods were ok and she's gone home.
She will phone me in the morning.

There may be a flag on her files. I used to work for 111 and although we couldn't see specifics we could be alerted to potential triggers - which usually meant that we passed it on to a medic.

There's also the possibility that the amount of paracetamol was misheard - it happens!

Are you sure she’s telling you the truth OP about what she took?

that wouldn’t happen (safeguarding referral) regarding too many paracetamol x

Good luck op..

She's so young, I know traditionally not young but even an extremely mentally and physically well person at 24 would face huge challenges having a child.
.yes it's been done etc and for many people absolutely perfect time to have a baby. But many of us don't know who we are and what we can do till 30. .
I'd try and put her off the idea altogether.

Until she's older.

It's the sheer stress of a baby on top of recent problems.

To be honest, what difference does it make if she has a baby now or in ten years? She's got long-term physical and MH conditions-these won't change.

What she needs is a proper review with her specialists to discuss medications now she is pregnant including her psychiatrist. Possible input from social services if relevant and, of course, support from the community midwife team.

As for you, OP, with all due respect but all you can do is advise her. Do not make this your burden.