@CrossStichQueen you don’t have to believe me of course, but she doesn’t feel like she does for no reason. I am talking to her about it regularly trying to establish the actual crux of the issue. I’ve seen the aggression from women with my own eyes once and have no reason to not believe her about the other occasions but even without aggression, her anxiety is there from others misjudging her, and from the past, and that’s what I wanted help with.
@BloodAndFire that’s why I (largely mistakenly) thought it would be the right place. If not, I don’t know where the right place is. I guess I'll use the helpful advice I did receive and continue to try to support her with it. I do encourage her to get therapy but I am not sure she will, she find the idea daunting.
I would also not like for a transwoman to be with me in a private space, and neither would my partner. I wouldn’t be comfortable with that at all.
I realise however that this sort of issue is the collateral damage perpetuated by trans activists.
I have much the same views as Magdelen Berns. Although I’ve nothing against transwomen per se, I am against men in female only spaces however and against how the erasure of lesbians, and women in general, is now riding on the trans movement.
@JAC76 aside from her being a little paranoid about being a bit (not massively) overweight, I don’t believe there are deeper issues with her appearance. She’s a little vain even, I’d say, about how she looks!
@TonksInPurple I am sorry this happened to you and your ex too.
@CrossStichQueen I am being honest, but of course again
you do not have to believe me.
I am bemused as to how people are accusing people of being a same user (me?!) under a different name. How dare someone believe me and share their
own views and experiences….
@ChampagneCamping we are aiming at building up her confidence. This isn’t the worst issue in the world of course, but I am beginning to feel very bad for her, as well as irked that we can’t really out go on dates, for days out with others etc unless It’s to the same places.
@Freespirit42 thank you for affirming that this kind of thing does happen.
@CheezePleeze if you’re saying what I think you’re saying, we’ve been together a while and have had sex, and if she does possess a penis It’s an incredibly small one, I would go to say so far as non-existent.. I don’t know where the breasts came from either. Ridiculous. If you meant something else please clarify.
I could post a photo of us both naked I guess, but then that wouldn’t prove anything -I am betting the people who don’t believe me would just be saying she’s post op (eyeroll).
@RosieBartley I agree about it going in the wrong direction, as I’ve said lesbians and women in general are suffering. My partner is female, presenting as masculine doesn’t change hormones, chromosomes or genitals. Transmen tend to present as female to my knowledge/experience.
@Begoniasforever I do, I think I put that in my OP or a following post. She says it helps a little but it doesn’t take away the anxiety or paranoia she has. It's also not always practical.
@MintyGreenDreams Oh god 
PLEASE shake her hand on my behalf, what a brilliant young woman! I wish my partner would do this.
@TheHoover it grates on me, it really does. Women’s rights are going backwards.
@hartof I am so sorry to read that ☹, your poor DD. It’s one reason I want my partner to handle this in the best way-we have the younger generations to be a good inspiration for even if in a symbolic way.
@Jibo I don’t think she’d go in the men’s. I don’t think she’d want to be around men while they’re using loos, I know I wouldn’t. And also if someone did recognise her as a female in there I guess the same thing could happen but the other way around.
@evilharpy thank you for sharing that experience but how awful for her. My partner doesn’t have any especially feminine facial features at all. If I look closely at her or imagine her in a wig, and perhaps not as tall/broad a build I guess… But she’s naturally quite a masculine looking person even without the clothing/haircut.
It does happen and although I’d rather it never did, I appreciate those who have experience with it sharing, if only because I guess it corroborates what I am saying, and that I haven’t made this whole thing up.
And @PeloFondo you’ve reminded me, I had a similar experience at school with a very similar girl. We went on a school trip somewhere and someone told her to get out of the girls’ loos. They didn’t think she was a boy though, they thought she was a man! She was about 10/11 but very tall and stocky. I still speak to her, she was my first crush 😊
I’d never have the imagination to post such a long-winded, detailed thread about something that was a blatant lie.
While I am on that subject, could someone please tell me why on earth anyone would? Is it just because it would ruffle some feathers? I have seen troll posts on here before seeking attention but I just can’t see why someone would do that on this subject, in as much detail as I gave.
@SeenYourArse as I put in the OP, she’s not generally, it doesn’t bother her one bit, she knows what she looks like. It’s just this one situation, in loos. I think It's more the being mistaken for a predatory man or a man wanting to hang about in a female only space, more than just a man, period?
@thatisnotyours I have seen that many a time on here. People just don’t believe something to be true unless they’ve seen something like it themselves, experienced it themselves or heard of it within their realm of life. I posted on a thread recently where I had that (it wasn’t as sensitive as this one so it didn’t bother me so much) but I did respond with something like ‘just because you haven’t heard of it, doesn’t mean It’s not true or the poster is lying!’
I find it bizarre. Humans are a diverse bunch who have very different experiences to others. Being so closed minded is odd.
@MrsNobodyMM . That post is helpful, thank you. I realise how people are sensitive to it and I am one of them (hence how upsetting it is to be thought of as a liar). It’s a minefield to try to deal with.
It seems so simple doesn’t it?! She can handle other situations better than the next person-It’s just this, it seems to be so upsetting for her, I am trying to figure out why by talking to her about it. She doesn’t seem to know fully either, which doesn’t help!
@5zeds I don’t think I’ve said it happens often, however it has happened enough times and over a long enough period of time (since she was a child), to have resulted in a chronic anxiety that happens often, much of the time we avoid going out because of it. That’s the issue, not that it happens every time we go out or such, because we don’t go out, unless It’s to a place she feels safe, (gay places or my local pub, very gay friendly) or we’re not out very long.
@bluelogo92 I am sorry your partner has this issue too, being asked to show her breasts is surely harassment?! I don’t know if that’s ever happened to mine.
Has she any ways she deals with it? She sounds similar, confident in most other ways just this one thing ☹Does she pinpoint why? Sorry, 20 questions.
Thank you @antelopevalley for affirming me. I struggle with how many people think it just never happens-it does!
@CrossStichQueen I do agree men have caused this issue. But I certainly felt ‘hated’ by women last night.
@mumoffloofs thank you for the lengthy post. It’s interesting, perhaps why she receives the reaction she does is she doesn’t look like a transwoman, she doesn’t present as a woman, she looks ‘manly’. I hope it dies down soon.
@antelopevalley isn’t that the truth ☹and to your second point, yes they are both an issue. The latter being much more of one to me personally, but this one being more of a ‘real’ issue for my partner.
The being pushed toward surgery is awful too. My partner (and some of my exes, quite a few friends) were all masculine presenting from a young age . That was okay back then, not ‘okay’ as in fully accepted, but they were labelled as ‘one of the boys’ or ‘tomboys’ etc. If they were young nowadays, I fear they’d be labelled as trans and encouraged to begin the process.