What happens to all the mean girls

[RedPanda901]

My daughter was talking about the mean girls in her school and it made me ask what she meant. I mean I knew what she meant but wondered what her experience of it was. In her words: they are dismissive of the girls they don't like; talk down to other girls; laugh and bully them to make others do what they want.

Just out of interest…
Are you a mean girl? Were you a mean girl? What made you change?

I personally think, if anyone who's been nasty to you dies of something bad, well yes, it's not nice but no, you certainly shouldn't be fussed and so on. I don't really believe in the karma theory about illnesses but who knows.

@Kanaloa - I agree that there are horrible boys around, they were there teasing me in junior school and then of course it got worse (but I went to a girls' school so missed out on it) in secondary school. A few of the boys who I can think might have bullied in secondary school probably played it down but my best friend at the time was affected badly and so left the school and came to my girls' school and mentioned it to me. She was one of the girls who most other kids liked too. I recall one particularly nasty girl, not really a mean girl as such as very under the radar but she'd always make nasty comments but then sort of try to be your friend, she was also good mates with the boys, played football with them. There were mean boys local to where I lived, they weren't mean as such but I always felt awkward and went the long way round when visiting my best friend who lived in the street past theirs, but this avoided crossing their paths, the other, quicker way round. Years later, speaking to a boy who mixed with them he said 'oh we were fine, we wouldn't have harmed you/would've stuck up for you' but I think when you don't know what people are like, but they come off as aggressive/bullying, well of course you'll avoid them, won't you? In my case, they lived on a council estate, I didn't, I never knew if it was because they thought I was better than them (I didn't!).

😆

Cancer isn't karma. If it were, children and good people wouldn't get it. Karma doesn't mean divine retribution for being a bad person anyway. It's a belief that the actions you take now shape your future. It doesn't mean that if you're a bully at school, you'll get cancer because you deserve it.

You're not obliged to feel any particular way when an enemy dies. If someone treated you badly in life, there's no reason you have to somehow make good in their death. The only thing to remember, which I'm sure nobody needs telling, is not to do anything to exacerbate the grief of those who do mourn that person.

And without wishing to downplay or excuse bullying, or the long term damage it can cause, and recognising that some cases are extreme...if it is possible, try not to judge a person for their entire life on what they were like at 14. They were children too.

It does now…

Didn’t when I went to school with her.

I suspect this thread/my post will disappear now.