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Original poster

What happens to all the mean girls

354 replies

RedPanda901 · 09/10/2022 14:35

My daughter was talking about the mean girls in her school and it made me ask what she meant. I mean I knew what she meant but wondered what her experience of it was. In her words: they are dismissive of the girls they don't like; talk down to other girls; laugh and bully them to make others do what they want.

Just out of interest…
Are you a mean girl? Were you a mean girl? What made you change?

OP posts:
Babdoc · 09/10/2022 15:25

There was a mean girl in the shithole rather crappy outer London suburb where I grew up.
I moved 400 miles away to uni, but on a very rare visit south as a final year medical student, I discovered her selling cabbages in the local greengrocer’s shop. Not that there is anything wrong with selling cabbages, but I confess to a tiny smirk and a teeny bit of schadenfreude… Grin

LaQuern · 09/10/2022 15:30

I have no clue what happened to the mean girls in my year.

Don't really give a shit either TBH

FloozingThePlot · 09/10/2022 15:31

Grammar school mean girls become solicitors.

MsFogi · 09/10/2022 15:34

AdditionalCharacter · 09/10/2022 15:15

They post #bekind on social media.

The ones I knew (and bullied me) never changed, their children can do no wrong, and everyone else is to blame for the things their children do wrong.

This! They grow up to be mean women and are very big on #bekind!

Loveatthefiveanddime · 09/10/2022 15:34

GCAcademic · 09/10/2022 15:17

They hang out on AIBU to deliver a kicking to anyone they sense is vulnerable.

LOOL!!!!😂

LadyEloise1 · 09/10/2022 15:34

Well the one I know is living in a gorgeous house in a posh suburb with a handsome husband, working in Marketing/PR, driving an up market car and has 3 good looking and fairly academic children.
She came from a well off family herself.
She's still a b*tch though.
Looks down on those who don't have / didn't have what she has/had when young. Instead of thanking her lucky stars.

verdantverdure · 09/10/2022 15:35

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 09/10/2022 15:07

They become mean old age pensioners.

This.

HRD2be · 09/10/2022 15:35

FloozingThePlot · 09/10/2022 15:31

Grammar school mean girls become solicitors.

The mean girls I went to school with mostly married rich men and have bred a new generation of mean girls...

citychick · 09/10/2022 15:37

A PP said they do quite well in life.
I think this too. Once they've finished bullying and manipulating people in school, they bully and manipulate those in Uni until they find a partner they can bully and manipulate for the rest of their days. Then they pass it on to their children and the circle begins again.
Then they turn up at reunions and throw snarky comments about ( apparently...I wasn't present at that gathering thank God)
Leopards don't usually change their spots.

Joystir59 · 09/10/2022 15:37

I was a bully in school but I realized as I got into my teens and stopped bullying, and still feel ashamed of my actions back then.

Afonavon · 09/10/2022 15:38

AdditionalCharacter · 09/10/2022 15:15

They post #bekind on social media.

The ones I knew (and bullied me) never changed, their children can do no wrong, and everyone else is to blame for the things their children do wrong.

Yes yes yes! And wear ‘be kind’ t-shirts.

tuttifruit · 09/10/2022 15:43

I didn't go to a particularly good school so the mean girls were not from well-off backgrounds and presumably learnt their mean ways and gobbiness from their equally mean and gobby parents. Now they all work low paid jobs such as receptionist, child care, hairdresser etc. and had babies at the age of 16-22. They are all fat now and post annoying quotes on facebook. I hope I haven't offended anyone with this, just my experience

Afonavon · 09/10/2022 15:45

The injustice of it and the lack of karma stings. My bully made me want to kill myself aged 8. She is successful now. Bitch!

Joystir59 · 09/10/2022 15:49

My father was a bully, and I acted out that behaviour in school, but I did grow to recognise it dislike it in myself. I grew out of it xx

fellrunner85 · 09/10/2022 15:50

Depends on wealth, ime.

I genuinely feel sorry for the broke ones. Mostly they came from chaotic and poor families and suffered as kids- so when they were in school they mirrored some of the behaviours they saw at home and took it out on the rest of us. Not that we realised it at the time, but they were struggling themselves. Most of them are still in my hometown, still living chaotic lives, still struggling, and - from the looks of social media - very unhappy. I wouldn't want to be them.

Looking back at where I grew up, those of us who were quiet and bullied at school have ended up the happiest and most successful in adulthood; but only because we were lucky enough to be able to do well at school, go to university, and build careers for ourselves.

But then I went to a rough school...undoubtedly the mean girls at a posh school would be a different breed altogether.

ThirtyThreeTrees · 09/10/2022 15:52

IMHO, most of them tend to work in HR and occupy the role of the OW more often than not.

Still bitchy and insecure but with notions of grandeur.

Youreeavinalaff · 09/10/2022 15:56

One of the mean girls from my secondary school was on the news for being jailed for drug smuggling in Thailand some years back. She was let out eventually and I should feel sorry her, in terms of what she went through, but she was such a horrible bitch at school, so it did feel like karma. I do wonder if she looks back and realises how horrible she was to others.

Original poster
RedPanda901 · 09/10/2022 16:00

fellrunner85 · 09/10/2022 15:50

Depends on wealth, ime.

I genuinely feel sorry for the broke ones. Mostly they came from chaotic and poor families and suffered as kids- so when they were in school they mirrored some of the behaviours they saw at home and took it out on the rest of us. Not that we realised it at the time, but they were struggling themselves. Most of them are still in my hometown, still living chaotic lives, still struggling, and - from the looks of social media - very unhappy. I wouldn't want to be them.

Looking back at where I grew up, those of us who were quiet and bullied at school have ended up the happiest and most successful in adulthood; but only because we were lucky enough to be able to do well at school, go to university, and build careers for ourselves.

But then I went to a rough school...undoubtedly the mean girls at a posh school would be a different breed altogether.

Yes I agree with this.

OP posts:
Hardbackwriter · 09/10/2022 16:04

I'm going to be the one who admits to some of this behaviour... I don't think I was 'a mean girl' but I was definitely sometimes mean when I was a teenager. I was, like most teenagers, insecure and trying to find my own place socially and figure out who I was. I also, again like most teenagers, hadn't fully developed all the empathy I later would. I was very academically strong but wasn't nearly as clever as I thought I was, and that could make me quite snotty/ judgemental (my family probably bore the brunt of that one!). I also sometimes struggled to read things socially, so would think I was being funny - and I was quite quick, could make people laugh and I knew it - but go too far. I was also quite pretty and was aware that this gave me a kind of power that I had no idea how to use and that scared me. Sometimes I knew at the time I wasn't being nice and felt conflicted about it, some of it it's only really looking back that I realise how I must have made someone feel. Other people were also equally unpleasant to me. I think I've grown up into a much nicer adult and I'm a moderately but not notably successful one in career/money terms.

TheAntiTruss · 09/10/2022 16:04

The two sisters who bullied me from when I was about 4 onwards, egged on by their horrible parents, who called me fat, kicked me and once slashed me all over with a bunch of nettles. They are both very overweight now and one of them was caught with another man having sex in a chicken shed by her husband.

Cosycover · 09/10/2022 16:06

There were no rich mean girls at my school.

The meanest one ended up a junkie with 5 kids who all got taken off her.
Not surprised in the slightest.

MotherOfPuffling · 09/10/2022 16:13

Most of the mean girls at my school were from rich families and were thin and attractive. All married very well. The few poorer ones, who hung on to their coattails, didn’t do so well.

happinessischocolate · 09/10/2022 16:14

They turn into CFs

PlinkPlonkFizz · 09/10/2022 16:15

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 09/10/2022 14:56

There’s two at my work.

They’ve found two staff to pick on (one of which is now leaving).

Around some people they’re bitchy and braying and LOUD but every now and then they let their guard down and cry about their shitty lives.

It’s actually quite sad. Although I feel worse for the ones they’re bullying.

Same in my place.

LadyKenya · 09/10/2022 16:16

3ShotsOfEspresso · 09/10/2022 15:14

They grow up. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, and unfortunately some remain not very nice people.