What happens to all the mean girls

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My daughter was talking about the mean girls in her school and it made me ask what she meant. I mean I knew what she meant but wondered what her experience of it was. In her words: they are dismissive of the girls they don't like; talk down to other girls; laugh and bully them to make others do what they want.

Just out of interest…
Are you a mean girl? Were you a mean girl? What made you change?

Successful men unlike the victims who can't even buy a decent fucking PHONE

The ones I knew from school and uni have stayed in the same sort of cliques. All have reasonable jobs it would seem but still very showy and still about how popular they are.

I couldn't be arsed with any of it in school I made friends outside through hobbies/music love and weirdly the mean girls were nice to my face as my friends had big parties and they wanted to come (all girls school but my friends were guys/girls).
As a adult I see it at school gates and even in DS nursery with the mums. I still cant be arsed with it so don't get drawn into any of it. My DH is on the nursery WhatsApp group instead! 😂

You remove responsibility from women entirely then? Every girl or woman who bullies or sneers, who takes part in sustained campaigns of bullying are just screaming their own pain and trauma because of the mean men in their lives yes? They can't be held to account it's always someone else's fault. Cannot agree with this. People bully for power and because they enjoy it. Sorry but they do. Also it becomes habitual. Bored at school, hey there's that cowering girl in the corner hoping we don't spot her, come on let's take the piss and liven things up. We can see this my the sheer numbers who don't even remember being that way. It was just a bit of entertainment, a bit of fun that maybe went too far.

I've worked with bullies, that not all in pain at all! Some of them just absolutely love it, it's funny, it's entertaining, it creates camaraderie with their mates, it is in fact so enjoyable that they cannot stop no matter what sanctions are threatened.

I'm sure there are some who your descriptions relate to but mostly they're just little immature twerps who eventually grow out of it.

Name changed for this but the mean girl I went to school with has turned into a highly successful influencer with millions of followers and a product range.

Mutul friends tell me she hasn’t changed a bit.

The ones in my school married young, had kids, never moved away, got fat and still seem to hang out with each other

In my experience the mean girls usually end up successful in life, narcissistic people normally do quite well in their careers for some reason. They also marry well.

It’s the good people who normally get shat on in life unfortunately🙄

Prob can guess who you mean here… was she based in S.B?

Of the mean girls I remember, one is an actress in terrible films with dire reviews that go straight to youtube. Another is a little known singer of white middle class angst. Both came from very rich families so having a career was for fun and not necessary anyway. One is married with kids, the other single. A third I bumped into at a party, years ago. She was sitting in front of kitchen cupboards cramming food into her mouth. After a bit of chit chat she told me she was going to the toilet to puke. I don't think any of them have any idea how awful they were, despite plenty of life coaching, yoga retreats and pensive self examination on facebook.

The ‘mean girls’ from my school all seem to be relatively successful in comms / marketing / PR type roles. I’m not sure what the correlation between being a mean girl and going into those careers is, but there definitely seems to be one!

One is a school mum. Honestly? Exactly the same at 38 as at 15. I simply notice it much more easily as an adult.

She's very attractive & slim, i think a lot of the women we both know sort of aspire to look like her.

In exactly the same way she was at 15, she is sweet as sugar on the surface but its rather false - very Regina George, actions speak louder than words. As a teen it just seemed everyone wanted to/HAD to be friends with her, as an adult I notice she uses people a lot. She also has a sort of inner arrogance which manifests as constantly being late socially, bailing on plans etc, failing to commit to things (but never where it really matters to her....).

She carefully leaves out details when you talk to her so you never quite know where you stand and always seems to work her way between people so that other strong friendships that might challenge hers never have a chance to emerge. She does not bitch about others or gossip herself but steers conversations to a point where others will do so.

I'm certain she would never, ever think she's a mean girl!

At the end of the day, some people are natural social manipulators. Its a skill that sadly also tends to serve them well in adulthood, so they usually have fairly successful careers too.

My DS isn't. This means he is never quite centrally popular. I'm very glad about it tbh.

She walked out in front of my car late in the evening last December. I had to do an emergency stop and thankfully managed to avoid her. I hadn't seen her in the 12 years since we left School. She was wearing cut off demin shorts, a crop top and no shoes.

I got out to help, she was obviously very high on drugs but she recognised me. I gave her the blanket from the boot of the car and offered to drive her anywhere she needed to go. She said no she was fine then wandered off.

I asked around after that and found out she is homeless, addicted to meth and prescription pills, she lost custody of her kids who now live with her mum she's not allowed any contact.

They turn into the horrible woman at work!! And the horrible mean ladies at the gym.

I'm nearly 40, the cohort of mean girls at my all girls school nearly all became air hostesses for Emirates or yoga teachers, did a lot of Pole Fit on Instagram and married wealthy men.

It was decided that she was innocent, it was the boyfriend apparently.

Well done, i hope your life is full of happiness and contentment, it's the best way to beat the bitches

@AntimemeticsDivision hahahahaha, are you for real? These girls were bitches because they could, they had parents who bought them the latest clothes, they were pretty and those things together and grouped together made them lord over those less fortunate.

For one of the worst examples of their actions they bullied a friend of mine over her weight, who then nearly died of anorexia because she was desperate to be thin and escape their attention and still struggles with body image issues directly linked to that group of girls 25 years later.

In a smaller ‘lesser’ example, another friend of mine would miss non uniform days because these vicious bitches would bully him badly because his clothes were wornout and unfashionable because his parents were disabled and low income.

So many lovely kids, kids that had actually experience of real trauma, but were despite this kind and good.

These girls were just nasty because they could be thanks to their privilege. I can’t believe people would make excuses for them.

I grew up hard, my father, sibling, and friend died before I was 11, I had an emotionally abusive stepfather, the works, these things didn’t make me bully others, they made me empathetic and always look out and after the underdog. Honestly some people, I can only imagine the people standing up for these nasty girls that turned into nasty women, were bullies themselves… 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have nothing to be ashamed of nor do I now.

No, must be someone else. She was cleared of wrongdoing eventually, boyfriend, who died, was blamed.

@notameangirlhun deliciously Ella?

Only say because I’ve heard similar

All their dreams came true - good jobs, lovely children etc etc

And beyond the mean mum stage, they appoint themselves "head girl" in the road and neighbours who don't fall into line and indulge this BS are blanked.

The mean girls I went to school with grew into fat older ladies with butt ugly overweight kids…. Just an observation that I’ve noticed and probably supports the demographics of living in quite a deprived area as a child 🫣

We’ll the queen bee mean bitch at school had an unfortunate outcome - turned out her husband was cheating on her - turns out he got both her and his mistress pregnant and chose to stay with the mistress. I actually wound up feeling sorry for her being left with 3 kids and no real job of her own. That was an odd sensation because I’d have thought I’d be happy that her perfect life finally unravelled.

i also had the misfortune of having a mean ‘girl’ as my next door neighbour a while back - she was loud, clique-y and very much left me out of patch life (this was while OH was based with the Army) she was a total cow but people were fooled by her at first, but then quickly cottoned on. By the time they were posted away she had very few friends! So I think some mean girls just grow up to be mean horrible women.

They join the world of work and start there.
I know two women Called Rachel…

Lots of the ones I have come across in my years of teaching seem to end up looking like crap whilst pushing a pram up the road with a screaming toddler trailing behind them. They seem to have children very young and get into relationships with unpleasant-seeming gentlemen who wear a lot of grey stretchy clothing. I often think that for all their mean girl-ness, that actually it’s really sad that the pinnacle of their existence was being more attractive than someone else in Year 10.