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ADS and the winds of change

576 replies

justasking111 · 09/10/2022 10:35

All set onward and upward friends

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CruCru · 09/12/2025 14:51

Hello! I am okay thanks. My children both started senior school this year and we are plodding on.

CruCru · 09/12/2025 14:51

How are you?

BogRollBOGOF · 09/12/2025 17:39

👋 Well there's a blast from the past. Still smiling when I see familiar names on threads.

Life is gloriously normal. Grin

Interestingly I've returned to working in education after a very long break now my DCs are growing up and in the secondary years. Back in 2020/21, my then 7yo really struggled with the loss of friendship in lockdown and to re-make friendships. He's doing well now, but it's interesting looking at his cohort and how under-developed their social skills are.

It's not just 2020, it's continued screen use, but that was accelerated into that age group by the months of being denied access to school and peer socialising across that KS1-2 transition and the age when friendships become more focused and selective. It's not just our school, it's across the whole city. There's also the layer of SEN diagnostic and support services never having caught up and loss of timely interventions. A lot of it is lack of funding ever since, but the whole issue was severely aggravated by the way children and their education were treated then.

The children coming into my youth group now were lockdown toddlers and their parents tend to be more anxious and the children socially younger. Again there's wider social shifts, but that disruption in early parenting has had a long term impact. There's often a difference in families that had older pre-Covid siblings, more stark than the usual 2nd+ parenting/ PFB divide.

DS is in the fortunate position of us being able to throw time and money at supporting him, but so many thousands aren't and they've been set on rougher life paths than was necessary.

justasking111 · 09/12/2025 18:00

How lovely you've all popped up 😍

Senior School @CruCru gawd time flies. Five years gone.

@BogRollBOGOF back in education. The differences still showing. I wonder if there'll be a long term study.

If you remember DS was in first year at Leeds, fell for a girl first week. Well they're still together and he's finishing a two years masters after working full-time for two years. He's made no lifetime friends from his time there, but they've taken a lot of cheap breaks across Europe out of season.

The city itself has changed for the students, maybe because of them. Nightclubs have gone as have pubs. They're more into a drink in halls and international takeaways. There's more bouncers because crime has risen muggings, sexual assault, knife use. Homelessness has risen hugely, especially in women and not because of drugs/drink.

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ISaySteadyOn · 09/12/2025 18:31

Hello! I mostly lurk on MN now except for the Pokémon Go threads. DS doesn't play anymore but DH does now 😀. I like seeing all your names around though.

DS has started y7 and I am very proud of him. He has made friends and is doing well.

justasking111 · 09/12/2025 19:32

ISaySteadyOn · 09/12/2025 18:31

Hello! I mostly lurk on MN now except for the Pokémon Go threads. DS doesn't play anymore but DH does now 😀. I like seeing all your names around though.

DS has started y7 and I am very proud of him. He has made friends and is doing well.

Ah I'm glad he's settled in well. My grandson starts next September and he's such a quiet boy, very kind to younger children. Loves computer games. They both get X amount of time daily then it shuts down.

I've noticed as @BogRollBOGOF said mums hover more than I ever did. Children Spending less time mucking around with friends, more time with parents.

It's a funny old world.

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justasking111 · 09/12/2025 19:33

I was thinking about @110APiccadilly last night and her baby which is what reminded me to look up this thread.

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JenniferBooth · 09/12/2025 19:51

Hello everyone Flowers

justasking111 · 09/12/2025 21:27

JenniferBooth · 09/12/2025 19:51

Hello everyone Flowers

Hi there. @JenniferBooth Wot you up to these days?

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JenniferBooth · 09/12/2025 22:40

justasking111 · 09/12/2025 21:27

Hi there. @JenniferBooth Wot you up to these days?

I lost my dad to prostate cancer over a year ago and have been struggling a bit with the grief I found the most beautiful holly wreath for his grave today. Its got red berries and red roses on it. We have a local independent florist who does beautiful arrangements

TheWomanInTheUnironedMask · 09/12/2025 23:49

Blast from the past here! I wasn’t on this thread but others, I can’t remember my username but think it was something like this! I am sorry for your loss @JenniferBooth

Ive had some brain damage (not covid related!) since then so a lot is foggy. I remember there was a poster who like me was advised to shield, I think she was undergoing treatment for cancer possibly? I remember feeling so relieved that someone else was experiencing the same “fuck this, I can’t do it” feeling. I went from being terrified hiding in the house being told to stay 2m away from family members, to thinking I’d rather live a shorter but happier life (and ironically that’s still true today but in another way!) don’t know if I can bring myself to re-read the threads. Nice to see posters again though Smile

justasking111 · 10/12/2025 00:49

TheWomanInTheUnironedMask · 09/12/2025 23:49

Blast from the past here! I wasn’t on this thread but others, I can’t remember my username but think it was something like this! I am sorry for your loss @JenniferBooth

Ive had some brain damage (not covid related!) since then so a lot is foggy. I remember there was a poster who like me was advised to shield, I think she was undergoing treatment for cancer possibly? I remember feeling so relieved that someone else was experiencing the same “fuck this, I can’t do it” feeling. I went from being terrified hiding in the house being told to stay 2m away from family members, to thinking I’d rather live a shorter but happier life (and ironically that’s still true today but in another way!) don’t know if I can bring myself to re-read the threads. Nice to see posters again though Smile

None of us want to go backwards, in fact we were kicking and screaming about the idiocy of much of it. Which even the WHO have acknowledged recently. It made little difference and caused too much harm.

It has taught me patience. I'm recovering from hip surgery six weeks post OP and quite sanguine about it.

We're all more sceptical, no bad thing IMO

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CruCru · 10/12/2025 06:46

JenniferBooth · 09/12/2025 22:40

I lost my dad to prostate cancer over a year ago and have been struggling a bit with the grief I found the most beautiful holly wreath for his grave today. Its got red berries and red roses on it. We have a local independent florist who does beautiful arrangements

Ah, I’m sorry to hear that

Curlygirl06 · 10/12/2025 11:33

Well hello, how be you? How funny, I was just thinking about you lot the other day and all of a sudden here you all are!
I'm still working in a supermarket, but bugger me, with policy changes and management with "new ideas that are better", some days I lose the will to live. 2 more Christmases and I'm out of there, nearly done this Christmas so fingers crossed.
We've had the usual life events- illness, death in the wider family, parents had to go in a home, usual stuff at my age. However we've had a new baby girl in the wider family, another baby boy coming next year and I've won £4 on a scratchcard, huzzah!
The tortoise celebrated her 5th birthday last month, I'll put a pic up in a minute. It's a bit blurry as I nearly set the kitchen on fire with the candles, as she was trying to eat the courgette they were stuck in whilst I took the photo, stupid animal.
Nice to see the old names here, plus the new ones. Happy Wednesday everyone. X

Curlygirl06 · 10/12/2025 11:38

There are 5 candles there, one slipped sideways and I couldn't move it as I'd burn myself/ tortoise/ kitchen, but use your imagination! X

ADS and the winds of change
justasking111 · 10/12/2025 13:43

Curlygirl06 · 10/12/2025 11:38

There are 5 candles there, one slipped sideways and I couldn't move it as I'd burn myself/ tortoise/ kitchen, but use your imagination! X

OMG your tortoise is absolutely blooming gorgeous. Happy birthday 🎈 🎂 I'm blown away.

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justasking111 · 10/12/2025 13:44

We need a before and after picture. He was so wee back then. I remember you weighing him..

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Curlygirl06 · 10/12/2025 15:03

justasking111 · 10/12/2025 13:44

We need a before and after picture. He was so wee back then. I remember you weighing him..

We've found out since that she's a girl! I'll find a picture, hang on x

Curlygirl06 · 10/12/2025 15:04

Her name is Indie

Curlygirl06 · 10/12/2025 15:10

There you go, 3 months old and smaller than a3 pin plug.

ADS and the winds of change
justasking111 · 10/12/2025 15:17

Curlygirl06 · 10/12/2025 15:10

There you go, 3 months old and smaller than a3 pin plug.

She's adorable. Is she still pre fertile age? Or is she old enough for a night on the tiles with a vetted boyfriend?

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Curlygirl06 · 10/12/2025 21:16

justasking111 · 10/12/2025 15:17

She's adorable. Is she still pre fertile age? Or is she old enough for a night on the tiles with a vetted boyfriend?

They don't usually start to lay eggs until they're at least 10. Mind you, I'd like some more but I'm not allowed! X

ISaySteadyOn · 13/01/2026 07:03

Been a while, but you guys have always been a good source of support. Last Friday, I took DD2 to an ADOS assessment. I wanted her to feel support ed and gain some self knowledge. @BogRollBOGOF , you did this with your DSes, right? How did you cope with the wait for the report? They said it would be a few weeks.

BogRollBOGOF · 15/01/2026 22:25

ISaySteadyOn · 13/01/2026 07:03

Been a while, but you guys have always been a good source of support. Last Friday, I took DD2 to an ADOS assessment. I wanted her to feel support ed and gain some self knowledge. @BogRollBOGOF , you did this with your DSes, right? How did you cope with the wait for the report? They said it would be a few weeks.

DS1 is diagnosed autistic (was just before all the Covid malarky started) and DS2 is now on a waiting list for assessment.

Knowledge is definitely power. Understanding why DS1 is wired as he is has definitely helped tweak to understand and adapt around what would otherwise come across as his idiosyncracies, and being 9 at diagnosis means that he's always accepted it.

DS2 I find harder to read at present because I'm less sure of his motivations, and what's choice and what's innate. He's happy to be assessed and wants that understanding. He does gravitate towards ND friends.

It's weird that they're now 12 & 15. DS2 turned 7 early in the first lockdown. Even with hindsight and time finally pushing it further away, it was still a significant chunk of their childhood and formative years.

Taswama · 15/01/2026 22:29

Wow, lovely to see you lot.
I see the thread has even remembered my username.
My boys are now in y11 doing GCSEs and the older one is doing a third year at sixth form, despite having 3 A Levels. He's got a place at uni and will go in September.
I went out to lunch with some colleagues this week, who both have babies born in 20/21. They asked what it was like home schooling and the only word I could think of was horrific.