Expected to give colleague a lift every day, not even asked first!

[Workinghardeveryday]

Hopefully you may have some advice on a tricky situation my dp has.

He currently has about a 20 minute commute to work.

His boss rang him the other day to let him know there was a new person starting work, as he lives close to us, dp should pick him up and drop him off every day going forward.

It is fair enough at the moment as dp’s car is in the garage, so work have been really kind and let him use the works van.

Dp doesn’t want to look like a dick and say he refuses to do the pick up/drop off, but he is really pissed off about it.

He doesn’t mind doing while he has the van, that is absolutely fair enough, but when he gets his car back he doesn’t want to get it messed up with dirty work clothes and boots in it (he always brushes himself down and changed boots before getting in).

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

This new person is nice enough, doesn’t drive. We live rurally so no buses.

He feels really miffed this person has been given a job, only way of getting to work is my dp, yet he wasn’t even asked first!

Any ideas how to handle the situation? We really don’t know how to handle it without upsetting the boss.

You've asked what we think the worst outcome would be? Worst case scenario, your DH doesn't enjoy working there anymore. He's a builder, right? Then he tries to find work elsewhere or sets himself up as sole trader/limited company and does smaller jobs for home owners rather than working on a building site.
That's the way I look at it.

I had a lovely long message typed out twice and then the page suddenly refreshed on me, so this is gonna be quick and to the point!

I haven’t read the whole thread so these things might have been suggested!

First, DP needs to find out how this lad was getting to and from his previous job? This newbie could really think that being chauffeured about is a working norm. And doesn’t this kid have parents? Why aren’t they driving him about?

Now, where I live (and I’m saying this now because I want to establish that I don’t know and I’m not aware of whether you can use them in rainy weather, as we have no rain for maybe 8/9 months of the year) all kinds of people, of all ages are whizzing around on electric scooters. They look like glorified skateboards to me but they can go at around 45 kms per hour and have a range of 60-80 kms. I’m sure that this super nice boss would allow newbie to charge it up at work!

Another idea is a Vespa style scooter, able to be ridden by anyone with a learners permit (or used to be, back in the day).

Or how about an electric bicycle? Plus super nice boss can let him charge it at the office.

If DP continues to drive newbie to work, he will be required to have business insurance, who will pay for that? Plus driving an extra person, even if they are very light, will increase fuel costs - this is basic physics!

Also, no is a complete sentence. DP is allowed a private life outside of working hours and does not need to explain to his boss, or account for, anything he does after 17.00 or whatever his finish time is! And if boss persists with asking him, DP needs to go and see the GP with “work related stress”, keep an account of the days and times boss is asking these invasive questions and bullying him to chauffeur this person and then look at some kind of unfair dismissal type thing!

It was an absolutely standard thing when I was a kid - parents had their DC 'test ready' within a few months of the legal driving age. They were bought cars - anything from new vehicles to ancient fifth-hand bangers.

But that was a different age. It's so expensive now to buy and maintain a vehicle, test standards are rightly so much higher, and insurance is unaffordable for many 17-25 year olds on low wages.

I agree that this is the boss's issue to sort out, not his unwitting and unwilling staff member's.

I forgot to add that I’m sure a person of average intelligence and ingenuity would be able to jerry rig some type of canopy/umbrella/covering that was safe and able to be used safely in either if the electric options. Of course, with a real scooter, a helmet and kagoole should suffice!

Also, with the bullying, it really is bullying and stressful, if you have been asked once and said no! One NO should suffice. Any further demands, questions, whatever, have them overstepped in to bullying and harassment within the workplace!

And it doesn’t matter if your DP was the loudest chatterbox who told everything to anyone who would listen! As soon as he says no, I don’t want to continue this conversation because it infringes on my right to privacy, that should be the end of it. If it isn’t the end, then he needs to see boss’s boss and explain that he’s uncomfortable with the questions that boss is asking as he doesn’t wish to discuss his private life at work and that as far as he’s concerned, he shouldn’t be forced to interact with work colleagues before (insert start time) and after (insert finish time). Any reasonable person would agree with that. Once you’re on your own time, and not being paid, you do not have to interact with your work colleagues. AT ALL!

You don't need business insurance on your car if you are accepting payment towards fuel and nit making a profit.
You don't need it if you are using your car to travel to work, but if you use it during work hours to get from one site to another, you do, even if you're the only one in the car.
I still think that giving someone a lift to work is reasonable as long as they aren't obnoxious. The employer has already given the guy lifts when no one else is available, so I expect he would be a back up for times when OP's partner can't do it.

Because people are cheeky duckers. His he going to go half’s on petrol, tyres, Mot, service etc. how’s he getting to work when op is on holiday, days off etc. it becomes a bind in the end. Getting up earlier and getting home later as well

Yes, this is what we do over here and they take driving education lessons at school. Most kids learn the theory and then do driving practice and lessons for about 6 months before trying for the test. It's not unusual to see kids in the last two years at school driving their cars to and from school. Also, education is compulsory until the end of the school year that you turn 18.

To be honest, public transport isn't great over here and the last bus from the nearest train station to where we live doesn’t run after 20:00 and the nearest bus stop is about 1.5/2 miles to walk!

I would feel really imposed upon to be asked to do this daily. I enjoyed my morning commute alone, as it prepared me for the workday ahead. I would speak to the boss and offer an occasional ride if needed, but would not be willing to drive daily. It is the new persons responsibility to find a way to get to work. They accepted the job and knew the location. This is not your problem.

Maybe the OP's husband wouldn't be so irritated about the situation if he had been CONSULTED first!

Management literally have NO authority to volunteer other people's time and equipment for personal reasons.

Ime in the real world no one talks to their boss like that. A stereotype I know but a construction site might not be the the most enlightened of workplaces. I assume the OP doesn't want her partner to lose his job over this, real life isn't always done by the HR rulebook and losing a job and taking legal action isn't a realistic option for most.

I doubt he will get sacked over this- most construction forms I know of are desperate for staff. My husband retired 5 years ago and he is still being offered jobs!

I suppose these are confounding factors. Is the boss a bit of a dick and how valuable an employee the OP’s other half is? How likely is it that things can get awkward at work if he says no. No one here can know this.

Yeah, I'm in camp 'huge imposition' here too.

When I was younger and reliant on buses, I was offered lifts to work in two jobs. Neither were necessary and in both cases the other person offered. That is key here.

I would hate to be put in position where it was just assumed because, as a single parent, my commute to work time was the only time in the day I had to do a lot of the life admin prep; just prepare for the day; unwind from the day. It was my thinking/clear headspace time and that was invaluable to me.

I'd be happy to do it for a limited period now if I were asked I advance but not if it were just landed on me. I still enjoy that time in peace and quiet to process the day ahead/behind me.

The boss shouldn't have done it. Simple as that.

Why not say to the boss youll do it for 3 weeks until boss sorts out alternative arrangements as it doesn't suit.. Write everything down, what said by whom and when so of it gets to be a sticky situation you have kept a paper/info trail.

I hope your DH went into work this morning @Workinghardeveryday , knowing that there is a large majority of people thinking he needs to put a stop to this and are cheering him on (albeit from a distance).

Is there an update yet?

What a presumptuous expectation from the boss. How does he / she know your other half goes straight home every day? What if he needs to do something after work or even before work.
as for asking a contribution towards petrol, that isn’t grabby. It’s completely irrelevant that he’s going that way every day. Why should one foot the maintenance and fuel bill whilst the other gets taxi’d around.
you could feel a bit sorry for the new starter as he is under the impression this is all agreed, but that’s up to the boss to clear up.
What happens during times your partner is ill, on holiday etc? Who’s responsible for ensuring he gets to work then.
I think it’s really cheeky to be honest
you can be kind on the odd occasion but expecting a full time lift is taking the p

Hi all, thank you all for your comments and advice, very much appreciated.

Today was a clear example of how this is a problem.

Dp couldn’t work today as up all night with d and v.

He still had to get up, pick lad up and drive him to work, turn round and come home. No idea how lad got home.

He felt obligated to give him a lift, he wasn’t forced into it, but felt he would be causing a problem and letting everyone down.

He did warn lad of d and v before he got in though!

He definitely needs to say something to his boss. This just isn't going to work, and how awful that he still had to get up to give the newbie a lift while feeling like that.

No he didnt have to, and he absolutely shouldn't have done. It was the perfect way to show his boss one of the many reasons its unreasonable to expect him to give a daily lift!

What on earth???

He needs to say a very clear and definitive No to any more rides.

Definitely agree. The lad (and boss!) would have had to use their decaying brain matter to figure out what to do.

None of which is the OP's DH's problem.

@Workinghardeveryday - as I noted in a previous post, and comments by others - what will that lad do when your other half is on leave etc?

Your other half needs to grow a pair and sort it out.

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair thats the whole point, builders are like rocking horse shit, the boss won't sack him for two reasons. He can't afford to lose him, and he won't be able to pay the legal costs, therefore it won't happen. And since when is "sorry I cant" that henious that people don't say it to a boss? Its not like its in working hours or being paid extra for it.

OP - your dh shouldn't have done that, apart from spreading d and v, he should have stayed home. It wasn't his problem to fix and would have proved to the boss how unworkable this is. Good luck for when he returns.

He really should not have got up today.