Expected to give colleague a lift every day, not even asked first!

[Workinghardeveryday]

Hopefully you may have some advice on a tricky situation my dp has.

He currently has about a 20 minute commute to work.

His boss rang him the other day to let him know there was a new person starting work, as he lives close to us, dp should pick him up and drop him off every day going forward.

It is fair enough at the moment as dp’s car is in the garage, so work have been really kind and let him use the works van.

Dp doesn’t want to look like a dick and say he refuses to do the pick up/drop off, but he is really pissed off about it.

He doesn’t mind doing while he has the van, that is absolutely fair enough, but when he gets his car back he doesn’t want to get it messed up with dirty work clothes and boots in it (he always brushes himself down and changed boots before getting in).

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

This new person is nice enough, doesn’t drive. We live rurally so no buses.

He feels really miffed this person has been given a job, only way of getting to work is my dp, yet he wasn’t even asked first!

Any ideas how to handle the situation? We really don’t know how to handle it without upsetting the boss.

I wouldn't do it. I hear the "be kind" etc posters but what about being kind to yourself? I used to give a lady a lift every day from work to the bus stop at my kids school (she lived further on but I had to pick kids up so couldn't take all the way and the bus didn't go buy work). It really affected my mental health as A. She talked shite all the time and B. My drive from my job of teaching teenagers all day (talking and being talked to non Stop), to picking my own children up (being talked to non stop), was my only down time in the day and I used this for either silence or to listen to loud music and sing along if the day had been shitty. I put an end to it. It's ok saying it wouldn't hurt to help someone out, but often it actually does.

Wouldn't surprise me after all this if the boss had no intention of expecting him giving the lifts after the van was given back, with him being well aware that he wouldn't be insured to do it and thus not expecting him too 😂 I've had stuff like that happen loads of times to me where I've been all het up about something but turned out I'd been stressing over something that never happened. Good luck anyway OP x

He also really enjoys listening to music loudly, only time he does this is the commute.

I'd still do it - it might make the other person decide they don't want a lift.

People posting he should just do it and be kind are nuts. It’s on the HR to hire people who can get to the job, not to foist the responsibility onto a worker without asking or compensating them. They haven’t asked on purpose so op’s husband can’t say no.

As with all cf’rs op just needs to say absolutely not and not give a reason why. That he doesn’t want to is sufficient reason.

It’s on his personal time, on his dime and in his car. Nope. I can’t drive and I sure as shit wouldn’t expect anyone to drive me to work and wouldn’t take a job where getting lifts from a colleague was the only way to get there.

The creep into people’s personal time is insidious, work WhatsApp groups that you have to answer in your evenings/weekends. Just no.

Selfish??!!!

he will be collecting and dropping off a colleague everyday going forward without being asked first.

The van is only temporary because his car is in the garage, hopefully he will get it back end of next week.

Why should he set off sooner to collect this stranger, have him in his car, stay back after work waiting for him to get back to give him a lift home?

His time alone in the car is HIS time. He needs this time to wind down, listen to music. I already explained he was an introvert. Conversation doesn’t come easily for him.

Why should he feel bad or selfish for being put in a position he absolutely did not sign up for?

@Workinghardeveryday exactly! He shouldn’t have to, it’s a perfectly ridiculous situation he has been put in.

There is so much good advice here, thank you all honesty.

We have discussed it all day, he is really anxious about it, angry I think and feels a bit trapped.

I have read out all the advice you have given, it has really helped him and me.

He is going to decide tomorrow night exactly what he is going to say, at moment he is very undecided.

I do agree that he needs to woman up (as said by pp, great way of putting it!), just say no, end off.

You’re absolutely right to say that it can’t continue going forward when he has his car back. Your boss made this decision, he can deal with it. He can buy the guy a moped and ‘be kind’ and ‘support the business’ if needed.

Not your husbands circus, not his monkeys.

I'm copying you a recent email from work, hopefully not too identifying as it has been widely circulated to all those who claim mileage.

It might help explain the legal situation which you can then explain to DPs boss and hopefully put an end to the problem.

"Further to my email of 20th September, Payroll has now implemented vehicle tax and MOT checks as part of the electronic expenses system’s Duty of Care functionality. Duty of Care is an employer's moral or legal obligation to ensure the safety or well-being of their employees. Driving is considered one of the most dangerous activities undertaken by most employees when travelling and entertaining through the course of business. According to the Corporate Manslaughter and Corporate Homicide Act 2007, driving any vehicle on company business, regardless of ownership, is subject to legislation and companies must take necessary measures to manage their duty of care obligations. They must also take into account key risks relating to the driver, vehicle and journey.

Payroll will be implementing driver licence and insurance checks from* 7st November 2022.*

So, what will be the implications of this change and what does the employee have to do?

Vehicle tax and MOT checks are made via an automatic lookup to the GOV.UK/DVLA website, so there is no interaction required by the claimant unless the system detects that tax and MOT information is not valid. This second part of the Duty of Care process requires the employee to provide some interaction with the system and upload additional information in order that they can continue using their vehicle(s) for Trust related travel.

Driver licence checks

These are the steps required for driver licence checks for employees using their vehicle for Trust business journeys:

1. The employee must grant consent for the Trust to view their driving licence once every 3 years – a DVLA check consent form must be completed by the user entering their driving licence number (the details in the form are then largely auto-populated). If an employee requests to opt out of the auto-checking service, the driver licence information must be uploaded manually.
2. The driver licence details are then uploaded to the DVLA portal in order for the employee to complete the Licence Check E-Approval Process. This process allows driver licence information to be shared with the Trust.
3. Once confirmed, the employee driver licence information may then be viewed in My Details/My Duty of Care Documents/My Driving Licences.

Driver Insurance checks

The Trust has a legal obligation under the Health and Safety at Work Act to check at least once a year that their employees are safe and legally allowed to drive for work purposes. Employees must have Class 1 business insurance for any journey undertaken during the working day. The Trust’s expenses system supplier provides a bureau service for validating insurance details and ensuring the correct level of cover is in place.

These are the steps required for driver insurance checks for employees using their vehicles for Trust business journeys:

1. The employee must enter details of their insurance cover/policy and upload a copy of their insurance certificate to My Details/My Duty of Care Documents/My Vehicle Documents
2. Insurance details are reviewed by bureau service for validity for business travel
3. Review complete – status is updated in My Vehicle Documents and vehicle may be used for business travel

Further instructions and guidance notes will be issued to you at the end of October. "

He’s her partner, not some random - OP is just canvassing opinions. Maybe she should just say to him ‘solve your own problems’.

*

OP - it’s a difficult one. I get this with things I like to do by myself (cycling & concerts) and people ask if they can join me. And what do I say - ie I’d rsther you didn’t as I prefer to do these activities by myself?

Okay, so just discussed again.

most posts in this thread are supportive of dps worries and reasons why he does not want to do this.

He is saying, the odd few that say, be kind, give a lift etc, that is mind set of boss.

He wants to say after me reading out your posts, sorry, doesn’t work for me. End of no explanation.

He is worrying what comes next, given mind set off boss is one of those of pp that day be kind.

Hope that makes sense!

Apologies if this has already been suggested, only read OPs posts, but could you suggest the "wheels to work" scheme? Moped hire for people struggling to get to work or college.

That is a good idea, thank you x

Crazy to me people just say to give them the lift.
Value your time and your own freedom. Why should you be pressured into giving someone you work with a lift?

It's your car, it's increased wear and tear on your car, and it's YOUR CAR!

My time driving to and from work is the time I can prepare for work and relax after work. I don't want to be cramming every waking moment of my day dealing with other people.

I think your bloke needs to think of imaginary things he needs to do, like shopping, seeing non existent sick relation and they live in a care home so appt must be strictly kept, picking up imaginary things for you or family. This isn't fair unless he gets paid petrol money. I went to work somewhere where just because a collegue had to arrange something for her child I was asked to completely change my start time for work. I refused. Didn't go down that well but I was happier.

If he gives someone a lift, does that still count as commuting to work in terms of insurance or would it class as business since he was asked to do so by his employer?

Some thoughts: Periodically stop by the gas station on the way to work and ask the new colleague to chip in. The newbie should have offered to share costs at the outset, no matter how close he lives to you.

A complaint to the boss about the newbie being late getting home if it happens repeatedly is not out of order IMHO. It is entirely unreasonable for your boss to expect this sacrifice from your family. Your DH can also mention that he cannot be responsible for newbie's transportation if he gets sick, and alternative ways to get to work are THE RESPONSIBLITY OF NEWBIE, not your DH.

That being said, teaming up for rides has a certain amount of tradition behind it in some places, especially in jobs like construction and other team activities. People who work together often drive to work together. Maybe this might be a good way for your introverted husband to learn to appreciate other people: it may be that some day, newbie will come to HIS aid.

Just a thought...

Sorry, but his job responsibilities do not include being a taxi driver and he needs to go and discuss with his boss. Giving people lifts regularly adds a complication. DP has to leave earlier, has no flexibility about when he leaves work, or if he wants to come in early. This is a pain and he needs to raise it as an issue. If he has new duties (company taxi driver) then his contract needs to be reviewed to reflect that and so does his remuneration. I would be hugely resentful if my boss started telling me what to do when I was not on company time and making promises and commitments on my behalf. Seriously not on.

Wonder why his boss thinks DP is the only one in this whole situation expected to "be kind".

Why not Boss himself being kind and doing some of the days? Or other colleagues doing some of the pick ups/drop offs? Or young lad walking to where it is convenient for people to get him?

But no, DP is the ONLY one expected to "be kind" - why? because it suits other people. Not very "kind" to have your time/car/petrol offered behind your back

This reminds me of a similar situation at work. We live in one of two villages, just 4 miles apart. A new member of staff was moaning about not being able to get to work on weekends due to shitty rural public transport and one said, "Oh you just need to look at the rota! If XX is working then just catch a lift with them. If not, YY will be working and come in with them!"

No one asked XX or YY if they wanted to chauffeur people to work. I told the staff member, "Oh I wouldn't say that. Not everyone likes people in their car!" They looked at me like I had two heads. The thing is, one driver HATES giving lifts. They're extremely nervous and as such, park in another car park away from work and walk round because parking is a huge nerve-wracker. And the last lift they gave? Both CF staff had a good laugh at driver's expense, whinging about how far they had to walk.

No one gives petrol money either. It's just that "Be kind" bullshit. After all, driver is driving there anyway.

He wants to say after me reading out your posts, sorry, doesn’t work for me. End of no explanation.

He is worrying what comes next, given mind set off boss is one of those of pp that day be kind.

Perfectly understandable. The point of no explanation is that the boss can't argue against it. Try it.
DP please mow the lawn
Sorry I cant
But whhhyyyyyyy?
I just can't. Sorry about that.

^^It shuts it down. Keep repeating. If boss refuses to except then throw in shopping, seeing ill relative, etc etc. Even medical appointments (or you or him). Boss is not entitled to know what they are for.

Now think of the worst case scenario. The sack? Not legal.

Maybe her DH isn’t on a forums page so she’s just getting some quick advise as she’s on here.

however OP I think you DH should explain to the boss it’s fine while I have the van but once I get my car back it’s not going to be possible as I have to pick my wife up on the way home. What if your husband needs to go else where after work?
I mean if the boss if willing to pay the fuel costs seens he’s forcing it onto your husband & wants the pick ups/drop offs during work hours then it sounds fair if your husbands up for doing it.

Whilst in the van it's fine I would be asking for a contribution to petrol costs, business insurance (you need this if work are telling you to bring the new colleague) and seat covers etc. Has he make it clear he isn't willing to continue this arrangement t when the car is back?

I think the problem is that he was offered the job on condition of the lifts, so there is no way of getting out of this without pissing off the boss.

I think his options are to suck it up or to look for a new job. I can’t see the boss taking “Sorry that doesn’t work for me” as an answer.

I agree with @BlackberryCat