People dying in their fifties and sixties?

[antelopevalley]

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

I think people assume that something being illegal means it is worse for you than things that are legal. Not necessarily the case.

Some who takes recreational drugs but eats healthily could well be doing themselves less harm than someone who eats mainly ultra processed foods and drinks a fair bit.

A large proportion of what supermarkets sell these days is, IMO, not fit for human consumption. I think a lot of people don't realise the harm it does to their bodies to eat highly processed products. Our grandparents' diet of meat, potatoes, lard and seasonal veg was probably healthier than supposedly healthy modern stuff like "fat free flavoured yoghurt".

(I'm not advocating for drug taking, but it's worth being aware that most of the things that will kill us are legal. E.g. air pollution is a huge one if you live in a city.)

I think live each day to the full.

My Dad was a twin. He and his twin were diagnosed with lung cancer within 6 months of each other aged 70. One smoked and drank heavily. The other did not. Neither was overweight. We lost them and their very much younger sister very close together. Their eldest sister is in her 90s and still with us.

meanwhile I’m mid 50s and nearly pegged it this year with sepsis. Made me decide to change jobs as mine had become toxic and I want to do more than just eat, sleep, work.

Well what’s changed in the last couple of years? My Dad has had a stroke (early 60s and previously super fit, my sister has heart problems (30s) all within the space of two years. 😞

I had my kids at 38 and 40 and was planning to go and do a second masters and start a new career once the oldest is in school when I am 42, thinking I still have 20-30 years more work left in me….maybe I won’t bother and should just spend as much time with my kids now before I enter sniper alley!

It is young especially by today's standards but equally of course people can go at any time.

All we can do is take the best care of ourselves as we can.

My parents are very fit and healthy 77 year olds. I simply can’t imagine them not living another 10-15 years. They both run 5 times a week, do weights, eat very well and are both as sharp as a tack.

Lucky them, no guarantee they won't get dementia or other illnesses though.

I totally agree with this. My grandparents are all in their 90s and all the fat in their diet (butter/ lard) would be frowned upon now but I suspect it’s far healthier than all the processed food that people eat nowadays. Their main exercise has always been walking; they’ve never worked up a sweat exercising.

One thing I've noticed in older relatives is that after a certain point, the decline in their health seems to stop being a gradual thing and become more like a series of min-cliff edges, each resulting in a noticeable reduction in health/ability in a relatively short space of time. The cliff edges can be due to something like a stroke or a fall, but sometimes don't seem to be attributable to anything specific.

So a verly healthy 78 year old can become a 79 year old with serious limitations on their life, but they could then stay that way for another 5 years before the next cliff-edge.

I agree with PPs that I always raise my eyebrow with MNers claim that 60, 70 etc.is 'young' and give examples of 80 year old playing tennis etc. There is no two ways about it - over 65 is old, even these days.

I think we are all in denial with regards to just how unhealthy and stressed human beings are, and the world in which we live now is, compared to several generations ago.

Yes, nowadays we have better medicines, vaccines programs etc but that’s just keeping people alive, not making them better or curing them of their ailments. The world seems to be run by the pharmaceutical companies.

I’m nearly 50 and my grandparents and greatparents, imo, lived healthier and happier lives than we do today. They never had take aways or quick/fast food. My grandmothers were at home, so had the time to cook foods from scratch and eat the left overs instead of a shop bought (salt ridden) sandwich the next day. These foods were purchased every few days and were fresh and in season, not long life or frozen. Most foods were from local farms/sources or as local as can be. Not shipped from half way across the world, sprayed to an inch of their lives and force grown. Most foods were wrapped and stored in paper, in glass or wooden containers not plastic which leaks out God only knows what into our food stuffs. They also didn’t drink alcohol in the huge quantities we do now.

The females in my family were not on artificial hormonal contraceptives to disturb their natural cycles.
Most of the men worked locally, without long, stressful commutes. Overtime and stressful deadlines were unheard of.
The world wasn’t 24/7 and instant. If you needed to purchase a product you would have to wait for weeks for delivery not instantly delivered the same day. Not like the rushed Amazon world we live in today. I live near an Amazon depot and the vans fly out of there like swarms of bees, just so someone can have their (probably unnecessary product) the very next morning. It’s a mad world!

Genetics and how you look after yourself play a small part but the huge amounts of anxiety and stress, the shit ultra processed foods everywhere, medications, the busy, rushing about lifestyles of so many and all the atmospheric toxins must all contribute to the bad health issues we see today. We are not robots just a mass of organic matter and we can’t keep pushing ourselves through these unnatural ways of living without horrible consequences.

Very well said.

I lost my 39 year old sister to brain cancer this year after an 18 month battle of which she breezed through the first 12months and was barely concious for the last 2., everything changed drastically in the interim 4months. Left behind 2 young children. Every year of life is an achievement. We don't know what 2moro brings.

There's a whole theory that modern people are full of anxiety because we don't actually tend to have real problems any more. Our brains can't cope with peace & quiet so invent stuff to fret about. Most our young men don't get sent off to war. Most our children make it to adulthood. Most of us live with chronic health conditions rather than quickly die of them. Minor infections don't kills us. Our daughters don't feel obliged to marry the first fellow they have a fumble with & then brace themselves for dangerous childbirth. We don't get physically worn out by manual labour jobs or living in smoke filled (from coal fires) homes & towns. Our teeth get looked after, and the govt has a policy to intervene if someone is abusing their child.

It is not independent thought to dismiss scientific, peer assessed, research, in favour of hysterical facebook and you tube website info. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

Our teeth get looked after

Have you tried to access NHS dentistry lately? 😂

In all seriousness, access to NHS dentistry is pretty much non existent in my area.

I was going to say the same about dentistry. Waiting lists of years for those people are able to join, though most waiting lists are closed.

Air pollution is a big factor in lung cancer too… www.thelancet.com/journals/lanonc/article/PIIS1470-2045(22)00569-1/fulltext

amp.theguardian.com/science/2022/sep/10/cancer-breakthrough-is-a-wake-up-call-on-danger-of-air-pollution

Septemberintherain

I agree with every word of that.

We got the 8hr work day as it was meant to be 8hrs work, 8hrs rest, 8hrs free time. At a time when women often stayed home and took care of the household side of things. (I do think it’s time for a rethink on that and I am an advocate of the 6hr work day).

Now we have both partners working, long commutes, overtime (sometimes paid, sometimes just necessary for the job), juggling household tasks on top of that and still trying to have some kind of life. I know lots of people who are either burnt out or on the edge. My manager was doing 12hr days 6 days a week. He was then off sick for months. It takes a toll.

The food I ate as a kid wasn’t particularly exciting but it was fresh and cooked from scratch. It’s true that everything was seasonal. Now we have fruit that’s in cold storage for a year so as soon as it ripens it’s mouldy. So many additives etc.

Childhood asthma was for years blamed on adults smoking around them. Yet very few people smoke around children anymore but the rates are increasing. It’s pretty clear there’s a strong link with pollution.

We live in an unhealthy world where people are having to take more and more steps to try to remain fit and healthy. Whereas years ago you could be fit and healthy by just living your life.

Re: asthma - when I moved from a city to a rural area, I noticed a huge improvement in my asthma.

Although on winter days when everybody lights their woodburners it makes my asthma a lot worse. We have mains gas here, so people don't need woodburners, and they are noticeably detrimental to health even outside of urban areas.

Death is inevitable. Absolutely nothing we can do to stop it. It's the people we leave behind that suffer.

That’s so sad.

Wrong thread

There is this myth that we live in an age of medical wonders, and that we’re all living super long lives. It’s nonsense. We can’t cure anything. In the 1970s, Nixon declared war on cancer. Fifty years later, it is still a mass killer and, in spite of all the hype, has pretty much defeated us. We can’t cure Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, MS...in fact, you name is we can’t cure it. Yes we have statins and blood thinners. And yes, that has given some people an extra ten years sat in their bungalow, but other than that I have very little faith in modern medicine. Most pills and potions just don’t work. Right now, in 2022, we are still in the medical dark ages. When it comes to healing the human body and mind, we’re just not very good. Half the people I know are crippled with some kind of physical or mental illness.

I also think our quality of life has deteriorated. Yes we have flat screen TVs and IPods. And yes we’re richer. But when you look at actual QUALITY of life, I’d say we’re worse off than we were 100 years ago. The UK’s population has doubled, which means less physical space. Instead of fields and trees and silence, we now have godawful housing estates everywhere. Our world is also noisier and faster paced. Then there is the traffic, which has become almost unendurable around here. Our food may be more varied, but it is poor quality, and god knows how many toxins and plastics and pesticides we consume. The air and water are both polluted, all of which gets into our bodies. On top of that, we seem to work harder and longer than ever. And thanks to the awful traffic, even travelling to and from work has become an ordeal.

One obvious thing that can help with longevity IMO is to have regular dental and health checkups. Simply because they can catch conditions before they become more serious, for example, high blood pressure.

This isn't life-threatening, but my thyroid was seriously underactive, and I had no idea. I told my doctor I felt v. tired, we did a blood test and discovered I really needed medication! A friend in his 60's, however, didn't go to the doctor's for years until he was feeling really unwell. Turned out he had fairly advanced prostate cancer. 😔He's doing OK with treatment, but it would've been better if they'd caught it earlier.