People dying in their fifties and sixties?

[antelopevalley]

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

I agree. Fucking horrible thing to say.

And even if she didn't live long - why should she not enjoy her last months however she chooses? If that involves buying nice stuff for herself, why on earth not?

Sorry but that made me laugh. I know it shouldn't but a positive on one of the most depressing threads I've ever read.

And having heartburn/stomach acid and doing nothing about it. Not that you can always do anything about it, but taking antiacids is not a bad idea.

Of course adopting healthy habits isn't a guarantee of good health but if you look at epidemiological studies it is quite clear that smoking, inactivity, poor diet and excess alcohol are all correlated with mortality at a younger age. Worryingly, these behaviours are all heavily associated with poverty so the current economic situation suggests that there will be a really noticeable two tier life expectancy for the children growing up now with real financial challenge. Of course we all have an uncle Bob who smoked 50 roll ups a day and died in his sleep at 90 but this is a lucky exception, no doubt supported by a good genetic constitution.

Flossers do well because there is a direct connection between oral health and heart disease. I only know this because my son has heart issues and we have been told his oral health is extremely important.

Some of my friends have died in their 50s.

friend who smoked - lung cancer
another smoker friend - heart attack
friend with BRCA1 gene - cancer
friend - breast cancer

My parents are still alive and in their nineties. My mum has 2 siblings alive in their nineties, all well and no dementia. They definitely have good genes. Their 2 siblings only died in their 80s due to lung cancer caused by heavy smoking.

Both mine ad dh’s cousins have died in their 50s and 60s - 2 of cancer, one of a sudden illness.
i am feeling older atm w some health issues I’m having and it’s scary to think it could be something bad, so far all tests are clear but it’s worrying.

Doesn't guarantee that you will live to 100, but it will feel like it. My MIL is 99, and the last 5 years I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. In fact, we help in a number if care homes, and from what I have seen, if I get to 90 that will do. Beyond that seems to be a decade of discomfort.

I get what you mean. I lost my partner when we were both in our 50s. Two people I worked with died - bizarrely both of brain tumours - one early 40s and other in her 50s. It is very unsettling. I stopped smoking 14 years ago, don't drink and walk 2 - 3 miles every day. I do longer walks every couple of weeks. These are things I can do, or not do, to hopefully give myself the best chance of a long life. Life isn't fair though. Two of the three people I mentioned didn't have any unhealthy habits either.

Stop reading scaremongering news stories

Here we go. This is clap trap with zero actual scientific evidence to support it. A vanishingly small number of people were adversely affected by vaccines. They saved many millions.

There is already a large measurable difference in life expectancy (and in healthy life expectancy) between the wealthier and poorer parts of society, and has been ever since they started measuring it. It's not a new thing.

Statistically, for every decile you move up the socio-economic spectrum, your life expectancy improves.

Here come the nutters

You don't live longer. It just feels like it.🤔

Well... since ppl are so interested. She was on welfare, limited income. Mostly, I think, due to having poorly controlled bipolar disorder. Which was the true main cause of her death (in early 60s), I suppose. She had free use of the car as beneficiary of a trust for her 18yo daughter, daughter was about to move out, so car no longer free to use. The trust was giving her options about leasing the car or buying it outright. Both options would incur high interest against the inheritance (she & daughters would receive when younger daughter turned 30). Relative hated the trustees & preferred an option that led to lower profit for the trustees and maximum for her daughters to eventually inherit, but also thought car was good runner & not having to lease it was appealing, especially if she kept it 5-10 years. She could ill afford repairs. If car needed repairs while being leased then she might actually get trust to pay for the repairs. No way could she afford to own a car by any other means, trust was her only option to have a car.

She was very dependent on the car (due to poor health), couldn't even get out of car for our meeting.

Has it occurred to PP that Relative asked my opinion because she wanted my kind of frank perspective & opinions. She knew me for almost 20 years & that I had a good heart: she gave me an expensive piece of jewellery during this meeting, but that's another story. Talking about death does not mean you want it to happen or you made it happen. All this "We really should talk more about death, it's healthy to talk about it!" but then comes the "How horrible!" response to actually talking about it. Sod that Shit. It can feck off to feckity feck. I hope my kids are twice as honest as I was with Relative if they think my planning must consider that I might not have long left.

On the flip side, I know a lot of younger people (under 30) who have sadly passed away in the last 5 years.

One had a motorbike accident
One fell down the stairs and broke her neck
One was murdered
One hit by a bus
One died by suicide
One died of cancer

And back on topic...

I will never forget early 30-something friend standing in front of group of us, looking picture of glowing health ,saying she was just diagnosed with a 100% fatal cancer. She indeed died 13m later. That didn't scare me, it just reminded me that A) you can't always tell from looking if someone is ill and B) a fundamental truth is that you should enjoy life Now because Now is all you actually have.

Worrying ruins whatever time you have left, and has zero influence on it happening sooner or later. There's no moral high ground to worrying about things : and yes, I reckon some people honestly believe they are a "bad person" (irresponsible? uncompetitive? inferior? lazy?) if they don't worry about things. And that is why worry takes over, for some, anyway.

But it’s all averages. My brother was 21, my sister 3 when they died. You can’t know when it’s going to strike for certain.

Someone once said to me you don’t see fat old people as it always stuck.

Good point.

You are right .

Try supporting what you say with evidence and you might get taken seriously.

Just for balance, there hasn’t been that much scientific evidence made public or even carried out.