People dying in their fifties and sixties?

[antelopevalley]

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

a lot of people have died this year in my circle of friends and acquaintances of all ages. I'm early 50s and think about getting ill / dying more than I should simply because I worry I won't see my son grow up (older mum after lots of miscarriages).... It doesn't help that I seem to have been sent all the invitations for testing (bowel cancer, breast screening, smear test due) all in the last few weeks.

I do think a lot of illnesses have strong genetic links - perhaps more than we realise, although lifestyle is a contributory factor. I also think stress over a long period of time is way more damaging than we are led to believe.

Gosh that’s just what my Dad used to say! He didn’t use that term but he always said if you got through your 50s you were in for a long run!

I work in a deceased accounts department for a major company. We get tons of fifties and sixties death. 90% cancer or heart disease.

It does worry me as our DD is only 10 and I turned 50 this year and DH is 51. I made changes to my weight and fitness levels when I was 41 as I was worried about not seeing DD grow up. I know it’s no guarantee but I needed to try. I really worry about DH he’s got high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes and is quite overweight. His Dad had a heart attack at 58 he’s still here in his 70’s but not the healthiest.

I was a medical student in 96-99 lots of men o. The respiratory wards dying of lung cancer/ COPD on their mid to late 60's after a life of manual labour and/or smoking (they all got fags in their ration packs during national service in the 50's). Now 65 is considered too young.

What is seriously worrying me that not long ago it was said on average 1 in 3 people got cancer, now is 1 in 2 ...

I'm mid 50s. of course 55 is old. I remember things that happened 50 years ago (!!) I'm fortunate not to be disabled or in poor shape, yet.

People I know who passed away in 18m:
79 yo male, cancers
50yo male, cancer with genetic cause
50yo male, traffic accident

Most people I know who ever died, I could see it coming. They had a slew of health problems dogging them for years before that. I even said to one relative (then about 61yo) "Don't spend money on that you won't live long enough to get the benefit of it." She thought I was joking. I thought it was obvious that her health was terrible. She died about 10m later.

I do wonder about this too OP. My nan died aged 93 yet my aunty (her daughter) died mid sixties from cancer, luckily my parents are still going strong in their late ish 70s

Why are people touting not eating meat as being healthy? This really isn't the case. Quality meat is a highly nutrient dense food. Be vegan for your ethics, sure, eat lots of plant based foods for good health yes, but humans are not designed to be vegan and it's not a healthy choice for the human body.

That's one of the great good news stories of our time. Enormous numbers of people who in our parents' and grandparents' generations would have died of heart disease/strokes in their fifties and sixties are being treated effectively and living into their seventies and eighties where they get prostate cancer, breast cancer and skin cancer, because that's what happens to people in their eighties. And maybe they die of that cancer then, or maybe it's treated and they live for even longer, but in the meantime they've lived, loved, been to their children's weddings, got to know their grandchildren, walked Hadrian's Wall, been to see the ruins of Athens, written that novel, or just enjoyed a pint and pie in front of Match of the Day.

Just to add a bit of nuance to my earlier post, there is also some genuine and concerning growth in cancer rates in younger people, partly due to obesity and alcohol use, partly for still unknown reasons .

But most of the growth in lifetime cancer risk is due to a revolution in cardiovascular medicine. It's noticeable that so few of the tragic premature deaths listed on this thread are heart-related. If you'd done this in 1990 you'd have seen an endless list of heart attacks.

I agree it would be very odd!

Of the 14 people I know personally who have died, 2 were in accidents, of the rest only 2 got a good innings: 89 and 92, the rest were early deaths.

By the way, when giving a family history for medical reasons, I mentioned my DF's death at 71. He's had a poor childhood and worked as miner so I regarded this as not bad. Not in the least. It counts as as early as far as the medics are concerned.

Credibility makes a very good point about the progress in alleviating heart problems, so that you live long enough to get cancer.

In cheering news, dementia rates are falling in western countries.

But most of the growth in lifetime cancer risk is due to a revolution in cardiovascular medicine. It's noticeable that so few of the tragic premature deaths listed on this thread are heart-related. If you'd done this in 1990 you'd have seen an endless list of heart attacks

Thst’s interesting, @CredibilityProblem My Dad’s family has a genetic heart condition on the maternal side. Not everyone has it, but his Granny and two of her children died in their early 40’s. My uncle made it to 67 before succumbing, but touch wood, none of my cousins seem to have it. Or perhaps they do, but it’s controlled by modern medicine? We don’t tend to discuss our ailments at family get-togethers. 😂

It’s amazing how much medical science has advanced though.

I think this thread is very relevant, everyone is always saying on Mumsnet the trope 'death is part of life' and it's only when you get that bit older that you realise the truth of this, bar the odd early death.

You also have to find some way to cope with the knowledge of your own mortality, which is the hardest part and probably why people stay in denial til it starts smacking you in the face!

Meat, dairy , alcohol and sugar are acid forming foods in the body. This leads to inflammation which causes cell changes and ultimately cancer long term. To combat this the rest of the diet needs to be as healthy as possible. Lots of fruit, veg, water and fibre. A healthy lifestyle generally helps too of course.

It’s barbaric that we aren’t allowed a quick, clean exit. If I am diagnosed with lung cancer (like my dad), no way am I letting the cancer slowly torture me to death.

We massively overestimate modern medicine. Truth is, we’re pretty much in the medical dark ages. You name it, we can’t cure it. MS, Cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, etc, can all be treated, but an African witch doctor or Amazonian shaman can TREAT you. Doesn’t mean it will work. In fact, I sometimes think I’d have more faith in the shaman. I have seen so many loved ones suffer so fucking much, and there was so little that could be done. The doctors and nurses did their best, and some of them were wonderful, but the brutal truth is we’re just not very good at relieving suffering, or at healing the human body. Maybe one day we’ll get better at it. I hope so.

Meat, dairy , alcohol and sugar are acid forming foods in the body. This leads to inflammation which causes cell changes and ultimately cancer long term. To combat this the rest of the diet needs to be as healthy as possible. Lots of fruit, veg, water and fibre. A healthy lifestyle generally helps too of course

fruit and veg are fill of sugars and pesticides though, they bring their own problems. I recall reading that the rise in stomach cancer was because of the pesticides and even organic contains pesticides-just natural ones.

Most people I know who ever died, I could see it coming. They had a slew of health problems dogging them for years before that. I even said to one relative (then about 61yo) "Don't spend money on that you won't live long enough to get the benefit of it." She thought I was joking. I thought it was obvious that her health was terrible. She died about 10m later

pretty harsh thing to say to a sick person.

I do think the whole stretching of middle age is funny - I'm 48 and don't particularly want to live until 96, I'm probably in late middle age at this point.

50-60 definitely isn't middle age judging by most people's life spans. I think we need to come up with a new term like tween to describe the period between middle age and old age. 😂

She didn't think she was ill at all, cutthelawn. Mega denial. I can't be like that. She was trying to plan her future, asking my advice ... she was thinking about getting dental implants (she feared would be painful & take a long time) or buying an car she could ill-afford outright, when alternative was to keep leasing the car, which would let her keep a bit of money back that her daughters might inherit or relative could spend in other ways. I thought it was blindingly obvious that she couldn't get good value out of those expenditures. She was very swollen, couldn't walk far or move easily. Just looking at her, I knew her body was ready to pack up. Similar when my mother died. I was the only one who thought it very obvious she was on borrowed time.

You're right I'm crap at tact. I'd prefer people to be honest in what they tell me, if I asked for their frank opinion. No one wants to decline & die but since it usually will happen, may as well manage well the aspects of that journey that you can influence. Others can embrace denial, I guess, but I'll be a planner & realist for myself.

I have seen people I am close to very elderly who it was obvious did not have long to live. But those in their fifties have been a surprise. Quite a few got cancer and ended up dying of it - seemed perfectly healthy beforehand. In fact some of the people I know who do have chronic health problems have not died and are still going.

Died 10 Minutes later! Wow that's awful was she showing signs of being unwell when she tried to purchase it and that's what you spotted:

I presume she died 10 months later not 10 minutes!