People dying in their fifties and sixties?

[antelopevalley]

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

Agree with iekanda - everyone I know who died in their 50s/60s bar two had genetic issues, known or unknown. (The 2 were my parents, one of whom ran his health into the ground, the other was just unlucky). I do expect this to become more prevalent as the economic situation bites though.

I lost some family members at 31 and 46 (same side of the family too) and when I was a teenager my best friend's dad dropped dead at 50. Other family members are living/or lived healthily into their 70s and 80s, but lost several family friends and family members younger than this over the years, so it's not that unusual to me. Good to prepare for retirement but also be aware you might not make it that far and enjoy yourself now!

Just as the pandemic started I got some life insurance sorted as I'd had death in service benefit before in other jobs, and I'm only in my 40s. Worth thinking about what happens someone else is left paying off the mortgage.

My Dad is 82 and terminally ill.

It was very sobering to sit in the Oncology department with him and see so many young people.

Risk factors you can do things about fine. But some are risk factors you can do nothing about.

And obviously make a will! We did that a few years ago.

I know quite a few people who have died on cancer in their fifties. Only one was an obvious candidate. Others lived normally. Were not health nuts but a normal weight, did not smoke, drunk sometimes, were averagely active. But all had a lot of cancer in the family.

I think people have always died in their 50s/60s. I am mid fifties and my brother died not long ago. My Dad died early sixties. But I think overall few people my age will die at this age because
Less smoking, most of my friends stopped in their 30s
Health monitoring. Blood pressure tablets reduce heart attack risk
Statins, see above.
Biggest issue I still see is alcohol

Yes my neighbour died of breast cancer last year and she was late 40s. Slim, not obviously stressful life and didn't drink alcohol.

I genuinely don't understand why people are so frightened of death. It is the end of all pain, fear & suffering so there is nothing negative about it. If I die in my sleep tonight, that would be fine (as well as a nice way to go).

My dad's mum died of breast cancer in her mid 40s, though this was in the 1950s. no doctor seems to have ever thought this means an increased risk to me, but I do check myself regularly.

Yes, this is what happens. I used to work for a very large employer and an email would go around when someone in your dept. died. It happened fairly frequently. So I learnt in my 20s that people dying at working age was really not unusual. I am now 5O and have had quite a few colleagues/ friends/ acquaintances and friends of friends die in their 40s and 50s, quite a number leaving dependent children behind.

Protect yourself as much as you can by buting life insurance for you are your partner and live healthily.

This simply isn’t my experience.

My lovely friend in her 50s has Cancer .It seems so unfair to me .She is a wonderful person ,seems to me have to make the most of each day in this crazy wonderful/terrible mixed up world of ours.I feel that we do go on to a better place though

Keeping fit and healthy mean reducing odds (by quite a large percentage) but is does not eliminating them odds altogether.

It also means that, should you be lucky enough to get to live past 80, it increases the chances of being active, independent and sound of mind.

Or you could drink alcohol, eat ultra processed foods and meat, and do no exercise, and hope you get to be an anecdote.

Given the way the NHS and healthcare are heading, I know which side of the fence I’m on.

Most people eat some meat or drink some alcohol.

If you're doing what you CAN control, there's no point wasting life worrying about what you can't.

If I think too deeply about it, it'll drag me under. What's the point?

A friends sister died of skin cancer. The biggest risk of skin cancer is multiple burnings as a child. Something I and loads of my generation had.

Cancer is the complete wild card.
Some are lifestyle others are just hard luck.
But it seems to really hammer men in their 30s and 40s. I know too many gone too soon and far to many children left to pick up the pieces.

I'm 60 and have had two friends die in recent years. One was 50, vegan, didn't drink alcohol and was slim. Had a heart attack in his sleep. The other was 58 and also died in his sleep. He was had two brothers and neither of them made it to 60 either. One was diabetic, with mental health problems, and stopped taking his insulin and the other died of motor neurone disease.

A builder I know talks of the 'danger zone' between 50 and 60. He said that's when many people he's known in the trade have died. No idea if this is a Thing, it's just what he said.

DH's Dad and uncles sadly all died in their 50s, many with a decade of ill health beforehand as well. It's something we've been quite conscious of in terms buying a house and not overextending our finances as well as sorting insurance.

Sadly MIL and DH's aunts all had to live with not just being widowed but struggling financially raising the children left behind.

I know if you make it to 60 without any major health problems, your life expectancy goes up.

I worry about this. My dad died at 56, my mum 67. I'm the same age as my dad now.

A close fiend died recently at 62, though he was a smoker, which prompted me to give up!

I'm planning on retiring soon, as I don't want to work till I'm dead thanks.

As I mentioned, I quit smoking, and am trying to reduce my weight as even if I do live a long life I've already got OA in my knees, am at risk of osteoporosis (my bones are starting to thin and I had a badly broken shoulder last year) so I don't want my old age to be marred by poor mobility, diabetes etc.

My dh is 54 and has advanced bowel cancer which his mother and various other relatives had yet drs wouldn’t keep a check and do regular colonoscopies which could have helped prevent the predicament he’s in now. I do think a lot of health issues are genetics. I lost a friend to same cancer in her late 20s she hardly ate red meat or drank.

It is risk factors though. My brother lives pretty unhealthily and always has but has nothing the matter. I think he is undiagnosed autistic and he has always had an extremely limited diet with very little veg, and has never been active.

@ThelmaDinkley I am so sorry to hear about your DH