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Original poster

People dying in their fifties and sixties?

402 replies

antelopevalley · 06/10/2022 10:53

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

OP posts:
echt · 07/10/2022 20:26

MrsSlocombsCat · 07/10/2022 20:21

Just for balance, there hasn’t been that much scientific evidence made public or even carried out.

Just aGoogle it. There’s plenty out there

MrsSlocombsCat · 07/10/2022 20:35

echt · 07/10/2022 20:26

Just aGoogle it. There’s plenty out there

Show quote history

I’ve seen enough to be convinced. Sadly it’s not making it to the MSM and lots of people would rather ignore it and not seek evidence of the possibility.

Ilovegardens · 07/10/2022 20:45

@Hbh17 I'm guessing you don't have young kids whose lives would be broken if their mother died - this is my biggest fear, not being around for my children. The thought crushes me.

DismantledKing · 07/10/2022 20:54

MrsSlocombsCat · 07/10/2022 20:35

I’ve seen enough to be convinced. Sadly it’s not making it to the MSM and lots of people would rather ignore it and not seek evidence of the possibility.

Show quote history

Make your mind up. In one post you’re saying that there’s hardly any research, and in the next you’ve seen enough to make your mind up. Your use of the term ‘MSM’ is rather telling too.

Solonge · 07/10/2022 20:55

Im in my sixties. My best friend of forty plus years died eight years ago. Since then Ive lost two more of my closest friends. I organise get togethers for our group of friends. Ten years ago there would be eighteen of us at a Christmas lunch. Im just organising a get together for this coming Christmas....there are thirteen of us left. I was a nurse and worked with terminal patients. A long time ago I came to terms with death and dying, but I can understand how some quite elderly people must be so lonely when they have outlived their family and friends.

echt · 07/10/2022 21:25

MrsSlocombsCat · 07/10/2022 20:35

I’ve seen enough to be convinced. Sadly it’s not making it to the MSM and lots of people would rather ignore it and not seek evidence of the possibility.

Show quote history

How convenient for you. You seem to think it's out there somewhere, so why not show it?

Oh, hang on.......

angela99999 · 07/10/2022 21:35

My husband'the s three best friends are all dead, one before 40, one before 50 and one before 70. He himself has inherited heart failure, well- controlled by medication. When I look at life expectancy figures I wonder why they don't apply to him and his friends....

angela99999 · 07/10/2022 21:36

Sorry about the auto-type rubbish!

Watchthesunrise · 07/10/2022 21:39

The Truth is, what our mothers did and what THEIR mothers did during pregnancy makes a huge difference to longevity. People in their 50s and 60s most likely had mothers that smoked and drank, rather a lot.

Watchthesunrise · 07/10/2022 21:40

And in the lead up to pregnancy too, not just during pregnancy. Natal and pre-natal health is very important.

satsumasunrise · 07/10/2022 21:44

I don’t know if this has already been mentioned but this is a fascinating book.

How not to die by Dr Michael Greger

Watchthesunrise · 07/10/2022 21:44

Illnesses that people put down to 'genetic factors' can sometimes be just lifestyle decisions that their mothers and grandmothers made. The food they ate, the stress they were under, the temperatures in the womb, all that stuff.

Cameleongirl · 07/10/2022 21:58

I do find it odd when someone smokes for decades, for example, and they don't get lung cancer, whereas another person does.

My grandfather smoked since his teens and died of lung cancer at 71. My grandma (other side of the family) also smoked since her teens (unfiltered cigarettes back in the 1920's and 30's) and lived into her 80's - she did die of another type of cancer eventually, but her lungs were fine. It's bizarre.

Imissmoominmama · 07/10/2022 22:18

CheezePleeze · 06/10/2022 11:32

Also, it's not just about dying but quality of life.

So many of my friends in their fifties are having knee and hip replacements and work is becoming a real struggle, yet they can't retire until they're 66 or older.

I’ve had two hip replacements (still only in my mid 50s). They give you back your quality of life. I’ve climbed so many mountains since my first one!

Amie50 · 07/10/2022 22:26

I work in a chemotherapy unit and I've had a few tears, sometimes sitting at the desk by myself. I'm just expecting something to happen with either myself or someone close and I'm 45.

Buteverythingsfine · 07/10/2022 23:19

@Cameleongirl lung cancer is not extremely common in smokers, despite the stereotype, only about 1 in 10 to 1 in 20 smokers will get it, but almost no non-smokers get it so you are increasing your risk hugely.

If you are a smoker, then the risk of dying of something smoking related is 1 in 2, some think even higher. That still leaves 50% who do not. 1 in 4 smokers lose more than 10 years of life they could have lived.

There are no guarantees, even with things we know are bad for us like smoking, it's just a question of stacking the odds.

janex1 · 08/10/2022 01:22

What in earth is this thread supposed to achieve apart from frightening/ depressing people. I'm 56 and you've really made my evening!

Cameleongirl · 08/10/2022 01:50

Buteverythingsfine · 07/10/2022 23:19

@Cameleongirl lung cancer is not extremely common in smokers, despite the stereotype, only about 1 in 10 to 1 in 20 smokers will get it, but almost no non-smokers get it so you are increasing your risk hugely.

If you are a smoker, then the risk of dying of something smoking related is 1 in 2, some think even higher. That still leaves 50% who do not. 1 in 4 smokers lose more than 10 years of life they could have lived.

There are no guarantees, even with things we know are bad for us like smoking, it's just a question of stacking the odds.

Thanks, @Buteverythingsfine , that’s interesting. Weirdly, one of my grandfathers and one of DH’s died of lung cancer and I’d always assumed it was related to their smoking.

StClare101 · 08/10/2022 05:29

I know two genuine non- smokers who died of lung cancer. One was in her 30’s and the other in their 40’s. Their treatment was even more challenging emotionally as so much stigma and assumption is attached to lung cancer that simply isn’t there for many other cancers.

All four of my grandparents had long lives. The youngest passed at 86 and the oldest at 99. My parents are very fit and healthy 77 year olds. I simply can’t imagine them not living another 10-15 years. They both run 5 times a week, do weights, eat very well and are both as sharp as a tack.

I have no interest in living a very long life myself. I’d be happy to pass in my eighties rather than have a reduced quality of life in my nineties.

Sadly I know a number of people who have passed away in their fifties. Mostly cancer related.

SilverLiningPlaybook · 08/10/2022 06:34

Lung cancer is related to air pollution as well as smoking.

Khakijane · 08/10/2022 08:07

Well the deleted comments are a perfect example of QED so thank you for that.

They really really don’t like you talking about it or the fact that people are capable of independent thought.

Why is that I wonder? (Rhetorical question).

JustDanceAddict · 08/10/2022 09:10

My dad was extremely clean living and dropped dead in his late 50s. He did have some heart issues but it was still very much out of the blue.
dh And I are in our 50s and we’ve had other relatives who’ve died in their 50s & 60s. It’s scary.

JustDanceAddict · 08/10/2022 09:12

Re lung cancer - my mum
died from it but hadn’t smoked in 25+ years. Not sure if it was the cause at that point.

Notjustabrunette · 08/10/2022 09:22

i Know 2 people in their 40’s who died this year. One of cancer and the other of a brain hemorrhage. Both have young children, absolutely heartbreaking. It’s given me food for thought on living a healthy lifestyle for sure.

99redballoonsgobyy · 08/10/2022 09:38

antelopevalley · 06/10/2022 12:24

A partner of a friend seems to have taken loads of illegal drugs and yet is one of the healthiest people I know. It does seem unfair.

I know a guy who has been a heroin addict since the age of 16 now in his late 50s he's been a constant drug user for must be around 35 years or more. It amazes me that he's still walking around fit and well (although he does look an absolute dirty scruffy mess) whilst younger people I have known and led a healthy lifestyle have passed away from cancer etc. makes me wonder if there is some kind of preservative in the drugs he's using that's keeping him going. Just seems so unfair.