People dying in their fifties and sixties?

[antelopevalley]

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

I'm in my mid fifties and I get what you mean. I'm hearing more and more of people in my friendship groups/work colleagues etc dying lately.

When I was younger, I probably heard of just as many but they weren't anything to do with me personally if that makes sense?

That does make sense. In my twenties, fifties and sixties seemed old. It does not now.

I have lost 2 friends in the last 5 years and will lose another in the next year as they're terminal. All 50. It's horrifying.

Yes it surprises me too as all I've heard all my life is that people are living longer, life expectancy is 80s etc.. but so many go in their 60s. I guess that's averages.. or cancer being more common?

I want to live as long as possible and I certainly do not want to die while my kids are still young. They are only 14 and 16.
Some of the people I know who have died have left teenagers behind.
Then you get people on MN claiming someone who si 80 is not old!!

I think it's all averages.
Yes people might be living longer but many people are living with multiple and complex medical needs.

Pension age might have gone up but on average people stop work at 62. So a heck of a lot of people are going on to sickness and disability benefits as well as those fortunate enough to have good pensions and not be relying on government pension.

I've just read this article yesterday.
www.theguardian.com/business/2022/oct/05/over-330000-excess-deaths-in-great-britain-linked-to-austerity-finds-study

It's horrible to think about - I lost both of my parents in their fifties, not too long after sudden illnesses with no pre-warning. It does make you wonder how much might be genetic or just 'history repeating itself' in general, especially as my own age is now barely a decade short of what they reached.

Sadly, that's just how life is: whatever the average life expectancy is, plenty of people will have a good decade or even two more than that; and so there's no getting away from the fact that that means a lot of people will go before that average age.

My parents refer to the age 50-59 as “sniper alley” - of friends who make it through to 60, they seem to go on to lead long lives, but that decade seems to be particularly bad for picking people off.

Two of my closest friends have been widowed in their 50s, one had a long term tumour so it was expected, the other - he died a month after being diagnosed with cancer. The first one left late teen kids, the second didn’t have children, which is hard for the widow in different ways.

I also lost a relative in her early 20s, sudden death.

I am heading for 60 and trying to live life to the full, and not stress over the small stuff (which is not easy, as I am a stressor, but it’s sobering to think that no one knows how long they have left).

I hear you OP. As a youngster 60 seemed ancient , when you get there you realise omg I don't feel ancient.
Quite a few of my school year didn't even make 50, some didn't make 60.
It's bloody frightening. My ideal time would be around 75, my grandchildren will be old enough to remember me (fondly, I hope) but no way do I want to end up ravaged with dementia, in my mid 80s like my mother x

My mum was one of 7, she and another sister lived until 90, two of their sisters died at 52 and 62. The other 3 died in their early 70s and 80s.

Only one of the 7 (my mum) had any form of cancer, and she was well into her 80s before she had it.

I am sure genetics come into it somehow, but even siblings live to different ages.

Yes people might be living longer but many people are living with multiple and complex medical needs.

Yes, that's a very good point. I lost a relative a couple of years ago who was almost 98. That sounds ideal, if you only look at the numbers, but she had a very sad life, an abusive childhood, a controlling husband, outliving both of her children by at least 20 years, severe lifelong mental illness, and many other issues and challenges throughout. If I could retrospectively choose to have her 98 years or just another decade or less to add to my own (by no means all sunshine, wine and buttercups) 45 years, I would choose mine in a fraction of a heartbeat.

You don't get to choose when you die though .. you need to look after yourself the best you can and you have the best odds then
Don't drink
Smoke
Eat meat
Take drugs
Exercise and stay a sensible weight and you will have the best chance ..

You can't however fight genetics !

Yep. I gave up alcohol in my 40s.

Don't drink
Smoke
Eat meat
Take drugs

Were there another three 'don'ts' missing there, or is there some groundbreaking secret information that you aren't telling us?

eeeeek . (Am almost 59)

I can't worry about it. I need to live.
The three friends we've lost before their times never smoked, rarely drank, lived "clean" with healthy lifestyles. I can't see how it's fair.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll 🤣🤣

My dad has almost got to 60 relatively unscathed (though he did have to call an ambulance for chest pain recently just to keep us all on our toes!)

OP I'm a funeral arranger and when I took the job I just assumed all the deceased, or vast majority, would be very elderly people. That's just not the case and lots of them are 50s or 60s or sometimes even younger. This job has taught me we're not guaranteed an old age, and we should make the most of every day.

I don't let it get to me though. I escaped death once by making a split decision, and I very much believe what's meant to be will be, and there's nothing we can do to change it.

The thing is you are confusing being sporty/fit with being a victim of genetics - whether the links to disease are discovered or not.

Trauma and stress counts for a lot.

Most people die from lifestyle diseases.

(Anecdotes don't counter balance this)

If you go on the websites of charities like cancer research BHF, any disease really and you will see them list the risk factors.

Just dont do those things! (I know it's hard)

Use your body as it's meant to be used. Don't poison it.

Pay attention to what relatives have died of. Focus on those risk factors. Eg if a family member has had a stroke cut salt and get a home blood pressure checker.

Flossing also seems to disproportionately aid health?!

Also, it's not just about dying but quality of life.

So many of my friends in their fifties are having knee and hip replacements and work is becoming a real struggle, yet they can't retire until they're 66 or older.