People dying in their fifties and sixties?

[antelopevalley]

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

Thank you antelopevalley. He’s having treatment and we’re hoping for the best.

@ThelmaDinkley cancer treatment is very tough. I hope he recovers. And look after yourself as well.

With people having children older, more children will be affected by this than in my generation.

Out of my group three have recently died of alcohol related diseases, one of smoking

Myself and my sister were having a conversation about this recently. My dad died very recently and was only 65. When visiting the cemetery there is many resting places that belong to people in their 40s, 50s & 60s. Alot in their 50s. Its very sad.

My mum is finding this. Her friends are all at that danger age where they are dropping like flies. Sadly all the things they dis when they were younger, drinking, smoking, being inactive or overweight, being excessively stressed are now all coming to bite them.
Of course there are exceptions.
I am grateful to be in my 30s and to know how to stay as healthy as possible so that I have a lesser chance of spending my long awaited retirement and freedom being bound by illness. Of course it can happen, but best to reduce the chances.

I know what you mean OP. In the last few years I've noticed it and it worries me. Dh and I were talking about it because it seemed there was a point where we caught up with people at weddings but now it's at funerals; and we don't feel old enough for that change. The people we've lost don't feel old enough either. Plus there have been lots of friends being hospitalised too. It feels too much sometimes

One of the biggest preventable causes of death in this day and age is obesity. I have been called out a few times by people saying that junk food is cheaper etc etc that a packet of custard creams is cheaper than a bag of apples.
To which I replied: you don't have to eat the whole packet of biscuits in one go
Pass me my arse please 😒

That’s an excellent way of thinking about it. It certainly focuses my mind! (I’m 53)

I think (just from viewing my own family and social circles so no scientific basis whatsoever for my opinion!) it is largely genetics. The smoking, drinking, drug taking side of one family - lived well into their 80s generally. Other side not super healthy but not into drink or smoking or drugs, not overweight or underweight all dying by 65.

A lot depends on where you live, in parts of Blackpool life expectancy is in the low 60s

A partner of a friend seems to have taken loads of illegal drugs and yet is one of the healthiest people I know. It does seem unfair.

Ridiculous to say not eating meat or drinking alcohol makes you live longer. MiL is 94 and regularly does both. Fil also did and lived until he was 92.
I know a number of fit and healthy people who died in late 50's due to rapid onset cancers. Also one of DHs friends who died suddenly of an aneurysm.
Average life expectancy is exactly that. In order for it to be average many have to exceed and many not get there.

Dh and I are early 60s, no health conditions and no medication.
We exercise, eat well and generally look after ourselves.
All our siblings are obese and have diabetes. Two had heart attacks in their 50s but still didn't change their lifestyle ...2 still smoke.

Lots of deprived seaside towns are the same

I'm sorry OP but I don't understand why you are so surprised that some people die in their 50s and 60s. I've news for you, some people don't even make it that far. This is nothing new. People have always died at all ages and always will. As you say your partner could die at anytime as could you or me or anyone else for that matter.

If it's any consolation in my experience you do usually get some warning it's about to happen.

I have had two friends in this age group die last year, one was a nurse and the other still had really young children as she didn’t have them till she was 40 and 42. Found out a few people I went to school had died in on a trip back to my hometown recently. It’s makes you face your own mortality.

Yes, I'm 51 and have sadly lost several friends. Cancer (2) addiction (3) brain aneurysm (2) fell under the tube drunk (1) heart attack (1)

I'm in my mid-fifties and it terrifies me, tbh. It does spur me to live as healthily as I can, but the fact that people can and do die at my age has impacted my mental health lately to the point of intrusive thoughts/obsessing etc, especially as I have chronic conditions which could indeed shorten my life, as could the meds I take to manage these conditions. I'm considering seeking out counselling as I know I need to get a little more philosophical about this.

My dh and l both in early sixties now, used to call it the 'dangerous fifties' as we went to about twelve funerals of our respective families /friendship groups of people in their fifties.We were glad to get to sixty tbh.
But my DH is in the building trade since he left school and it is quite bad for early deaths especially his generation,with the drinking culture attached to it, the high risk of accidents and exposure to asbestos (two of his building trade friends in fifties died from asbestos). All those factors have improved in the industry and many more H&S measures in place.

asbestosis

My side of the family have all died in their late 80's or early 90's but my dd's mil died at 57 from a very aggressive brain tumour. She was a smoker but very slim and didn't eat very much. At my dd's baby shower we had to write a letter to the baby for when they were 18 and I thought as I wrote it that dd's mil would still be alive then but I probably wouldn't as I was 65 but I am still here at 70 so you never know how long your life will be.

Awareness of this is why I tend to be a wet blanket on "should DH and I have one last afterthought child at ages 50 and 40?" threads. The mortality rate between ages 55 and 65 is too high for my personal risk tolerance, as well as the risk of the advent of serious health conditions which mean one partner has to be the other's carer.

Yes you could have a baby age 25 and be run over by a bus the next day, but that doesn't make the risk the same.

@bigbluebus I didn't say that , I said to negate most risks you shouldn't do those things .. for me it's about reducing all risks and giving yourself the best chance ..I also said you can't fight genetics ...

My dad lived the life he wanted eating what he wanted and drinking excessively. He died a horrible death in his 70's which I'd like to avoid tbh

My dad’s generation was the same. He was in the fire service and not one of his colleagues made it past his 60s, and he died at 69. Exposure to all the dodgy chemicals that used to be in everything in the 70s and 80s, especially virulent during fires. Primitive BA couldn’t protect them against it.