People dying in their fifties and sixties?

[antelopevalley]

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

I'm in my 40s and I've had quite a few friends who've died in their 30s and 40s. A couple from cancer (and another school friend same age as me currently with advanced cancer), one from an overdose, another from sepsis after an operation. My dad died in his 50s, which didn't seem too unexpected at the time, but 20 years later, I realise how many of my friends parents and grandparents are still alive.

The life expectancy figures are an average. I agree 50s seems to be a risky decade. In the last 3 years I've lost 3 friends and DH all to cancer in their 50s. They were all a bit over weight, sneered at healthy eating, smoked as youngsters but most given up well before they died.

Apparently, if you survive your 50s, life expectancy is actually much higher than the stated average.

My DPs father died aged 96 and his mum at 104. All his siblings are still with us with ages ranging from 81 down to 68 (we are North of Sniper Alley ourselves BTW!)

My parents died at 67 dad, and 85 mum, my sister died at 49. All cancer related. I don't know anymore, as none of my family lived unhealthy lives and were within range weight wise. I just live every day now thankful that I am still here, and planning my next trip away. Life is for living and it is so bloody short!

There is more pollution, food is laced with hormones, toiletries and household goods are full of chemicals, we are fatter and lazier. Our lifestyles are generally less healthy, so it's not surprising diseases like cancer are increasing.

What amazes me, isn't people dying in their 50s but the numbers who have very bad health... usually life style related but none the less, its quite shocking.

My DD worked in a stroke rehab unit, again the numbers who had severe strokes in the 40s and 50s was incredibly high.

BUT with 68m people in the country..... odds are you'll make it through at least to your 70s.

@Sonnex I think you are 20 years out tbh. I am 59, joined my first gym at 18 along with my friends at Uni and have exercised ever since ( and am still a gym member), none of us have ever smoked, we know what a healthy diet looks like. We grew up with home cooked from scratch food, nobody ate processed crap, we don’t feed it to our kids.

I'm 55 so I guess I should keep my post brief as I could die before finishing it...

Just thinking further about this thread. While I'm not at all worried about dying myself, the thing that absolutely terrifies me - if I ever allow myself to think about it, which I try not to do as I will spiral - is one of my children dying.

Yes, indeed, if you look at the statistics/probability tables of death, a 40 something year old has a lower life expectancy than a 60 something year old (all other things being equal). That basically confirms that if you survive your 50s , you're life expectancy does increase.

I think I've seen statistics showing that your 50's is the highest risk decade for things like heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, etc etc. I think for a lot of people, poor health starts to catch up with them, after a few decades of perhaps too much alcohol, smoking, poor eating habits, lack of exercise, etc., their bodies start to struggle in the 50's (Obviously I accept that a lot of illnesses aren't lifestyle related, particularly some cancers with no known "causes"!).

I am 78 and dh is 86. Our 5 dc are all early 50 s.
Dh is quite poorly atm and I would like to be fitter but we have seen our dc grow and have their own dc. I think our dgc will remember us (aged 13-25). I am not ready to go but feel we have had a life and will leave no harm behind.

I think this is right.

When we got an orange and whit spaniel- an unusual but nor rare colour - we suddenly noticed them everywhere, even though was the first one we'd seen.

Just raised awareness because of personal involvement.

I think in your 50s the difference between those who "look after themselves" and those who don't becomes really aparent.

Young people can get away with eating badly, drinking too much and not exercising and won't really see or feel any difference to their more health conscious peers. After 50 you can really see it. It won't always translate to early deaths, but does in many cases translate to poor health/quality of life much earlier than is necessary.

Some people are just unlucky of course and some lifestyle factors are as a result of poverty etc and unavoidable, but this is the decade when it really starts to show IMO.

People have always died in their 40s and 50s, some even younger, some a lot older. It’s just when you’re young those ages seem so far away. ( at 16 I was surprised at a family friend going back to college in his 30s. I actually said why was he bothering as he’d be dead soon 😬)
Genetic conditions, lifestyle choices, accidents, industrial diseases and downright bad luck all combine to give mixed life spans.

I very much believe what's meant to be will be, and there's nothing we can do to change it

That's pretty much scientifically proven to be false and sounds like an excuse to not even try. If an obese person loses weight they can add years to their life, if a drugs user or smoker quits they can do too. By your logic there is no point as they will die young anyway or their death date is set in stone. As other posters said, so many young deaths are simply caused by lifestyle factors. This can be changed but it's easier said than done.

Haven't rtft, but I think there's almost an element of privilege in this, to get to your 50s without losing peers. I noticed something similar at the start of the pandemic - discussing with friends, it was the parents (all in their 60s) who had always been healthy who took it the hardest. They thought themselves as young and healthy, and then to hear themselves discussed as a high risk group was a horrible shock. The ones who had already been seriously ill at some point were much more philosophical about the whole thing.

I lost two good friends to illness in their early twenties, and another two from my wider circle at school/university in their mid 30s. 50s doesn't seem so incredibly young to me.

Excess death rates are massively high at the moment and I'm concerned. I'd like an investigation into why. If it's lifestyle we need to know, if it's mental health, vaccines etc. It's worse than during 2020 when all we heard about were the death stats.

There is more pollution, food is laced with hormones, toiletries and household goods are full of chemicals, we are fatter and lazier. Our lifestyles are generally less healthy, so it's not surprising diseases like cancer are increasing

foods have being unhealthy for decades though and toiletries have always been full of chemicals. Today we are better educated about food and there is more healthy variety but people choose to ignore the advice and binge on crap. The notion that in the past everybody was healthier is a myth, smoking was much more common years ago.

My mum was a marathon runner from the age of 30 and she had a hip replacement at 62. Her training partner had a knee replacement at 64. Both really fit otherwise but the constant pounding took its toll.

Re flossing.
Poor dental hygiene is catastrophic.
Infections and diseases in the mouth make their way down your throat and beyond.

I think it is a falling apart NHS caused by a lack of investment by the Tories. If you don't get diagnosed with cancer until it is far gone, you often die. If you don't get your high blood pressure diagnosed, you risk a heart attack.

Dentistry seems to have nearly collapsed where I live. People routinely post in the local facebook group for any dentist with spaces - private.

My Lord, life expectancy far outstrips that of the time when there was no pollution and everyone lived in chemical free dwellings and ate naturally produced food!

And no one survived cancer back then, and died agonizing deaths from it due to an absence of pain relief!

My mum has a friend who had breast cancer in her 40s. She is still alive and was 100 this year. And she still has her marbles, too.

I was a very young widow. DH passed from cancer.

The saddest thing is the deaths that have happened of friends of my DD and DS. Mostly drug overdoses in their 20s.

It’s probably a noticing more as you near that age - a celebrity your age dying is more of a jolt.
My dad died early 60s as did my grandad (both heart attacks overweight) I got my act together and lost weight in my 40s now I really try to prioritise my health. I notice a lot of women my age obese like I was struggling already.
Someone once said to me you don’t see fat old people as it always stuck.