People dying in their fifties and sixties?

[antelopevalley]

I know the stats around life expectancy, but I am finding it mentally hard that so many people I know have died in their fifties and sixties. A few were expected e.g. colleague who was a functional alcoholic, but so many were not expected. A marathon runner who was very fit. A slim and active woman who died of cancer. Another woman who was sporty who died of a rare lung infection. etc etc.

I really do not expect this as I got older. It makes me afraid and makes me worry my partner could die at any time.

Interesting and thought-provoking thread @antelopevalley Thank you.

I am 52, and DH is 3 years older than me, and so WE are in the sniper range as someone said earlier!!! Oddly, more people I know have died in their 50s than their 60s! Once you make it through your 50s you're OK for a bit I think...

As a number of people have said, (including a funeral director person,) not ALL people who die are 'elderly' like over 75, like many people assume.

Since early 2020, (2 and a half years,) 23 people in the village have died, out of a population around 450. Just 2 and a half YEARS.

11 of these 23 have been under 60!

Quite a few of the younger folks deaths have been from cancer (and a few others have been some other devastating illness,) and a couple of people died in a car crash. Some though, just died for no real apparent reason, and the death was recorded as cardiac arrest.

A perfectly healthy soldier aged 39 just died in his sleep in 2021 and they never knew why. Awful.

Also, a 41 year old woman died of cancer earlier this year, and her 35 year old brother's daughter died aged 3 months old. No apparent reason. Just recorded as cot death... Devastating for the family.

In my street alone (just 21 homes,) SEVEN people have died since early 2020.

As a few people have said, I would rather die at 65 whilst in good health (eg, just die in my sleep) than live to 80-90 and be ravaged with dementia or something similar, or some other really bad painful illness.

I try to live a fairly healthy life. I stopped smoking some 17-20 years ago, I don't eat massively and don't eat too much shite, I am overweight but not horribly, maybe 2-3 stone, and I do drink. Like FUCK am I giving up my booze. Nope. I only drink one or two days a week anyway. Like 2 glasses of wine or 2 or 3 brandies.

My heart and good wishes go out to everyone who has lost someone young. (And also to the people who have lost someone close at any age ...)

People don't like to hear this but it's true.

It's not just about death, it's about quality of life while you're alive and so many people suffer in their 50s and 60s due to being overweight.

But I guess if you're in your 30s for example that seems like a lifetime away.

@Hbh17
Presumably what people are afraid of is the pain, fear and suffering which normally comes before they die. Also the worry of leaving family members behind - especially if there are children / teenagers .

Yes it's very sad, we never know when our time will come. I'm in my 30s, but I know 3 people who have died in their early 50s within the past 5 years. All were well off and had very good professional careers, so it wasn't anything to do with deprivation. For one, they never even found the cause, the person just died suddenly for no clear reason.

I think most people I know who've died at 50/50 it's either suicide/heart attack/health issue like cancer.

Some of the above could be lifestyle choices or not getting tested for various cancers/heart issues.

A few people I know aren't well - one has type 2 diabetes at 50, the other is obese and had a stroke 3 years ago. If you don't deal with serious health issues, then yes, you do increase the risk of mortality.

Maybe because some of us have young children? I’m not frightened of death itself but I do worry for my children.

I did read somewhere that if you make it to 60 without being diagnosed with something like cancer, diabetes or heart disease you will probably live another 30 years.

Sorry to hear that @ThelmaDinkley

There is also the issue of what is called 'healthy life expectancy' which shows that for people living in some areas they can expect to live for several years with multiple health problems .

Yes, I have lost three female friends to cancer in their early fifties in the last month, and I know four males who've taken their own lives in the past year, all early fifties too.

Same here, one of my brother's best friends, died (not sure of what yet but he was an alcoholic for many years), he rang his father a week before he died complaining of stomach pains.

My own father died at 50 of a heart attack, enlarged heart. But he'd been an alcoholic for most of his adult life bar 15 years and when he had the heart attack, he wasn't registered with a doctor so wouldn't have known he had the enlarged heart.

I used to look at the death announcements in the local paper. There were noticeably more in their 50s and early 60s, then very few in their 70s, then it picked up again in the 80s.

Sadly, I have known 6 people who took their own life, in the past 5 years alone... 2 in their 20s, 1 in their 30s, and 3 in their 50s. The 3 in their 50s were all single or divorced women. (not widowed.) Tragic.

The 2 in their 20s were men, as was the one in their 30s...Also tragic.

That's shocking @WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps

This article was in the Conversation newsletter today theconversation.com/five-things-to-do-in-your-20s-and-30s-to-reduce-your-risk-of-preventable-cancer-191283
I think while most people appreciate the dangers of smoking in relation to cancer, it hasn’t really sunk in with alcohol yet. There is no amount of alcohol which doesn’t damage your body.

I have heard that older people (60+) are more likely to have a higher life expectancy if they go to Church, because of the welcome and warmth they receive, the camaraderie and the friendship and socialising etc.

If you're not a Church person, I guess hobby groups and drama groups etc would be OK too.

A physio Lecturer of mine said that people who live clean don’t live longer, but die quickly, of one big event. They don’t linger being expensively unwell for years, and that’s why the government promote it. Given the government, I imagine she could well be right, but given that few people aspire to be progressively disabled for many years, I can’t see why you wouldn’t still try. I don’t know if it’s true. I felt she was trustworthy, though.

I know. Very sad. One was a good friend of my DD who she went to school with. A young man of just 22 who had just left university. No-one ever knew why as he seemed OK on the outside and never talked about feeling low or anything. Hanged himself. DD is still devastated about it, even 3-4 years later.

There are lots of reasons why people's lives might be shortened:

• genetics
• smoking
• drinking
• drug abuse
• poor diet --> malnutrition, obesity, lack of essential vitamins/minerals
• poverty --> poor housing - inadequate heating, exposure to mould spores, overcrowding, inability to buy/cook healthy food
• poor mental health
• long-term stress or anxiety
• untreated physical health conditions
• learning disabilities
• accidents
• bad luck - not everyone who gets cancer or heart disease is someone who's led an unhealthy life or is obese.

I'm in my 50s and it doesn't scare/worry me at all. My children are all grown up so I've done my job, and have done it well. I wouldn't have wanted to die when they were younger and still needed me. They do still need me now, but in a very different way, and would get over it if I died tomorrow in a way that they wouldn't have got over it if I'd died when they were younger.

I bet scientists who came up to this thought have never been to catholic church in Poland 😂

My dh died last year at 50, of colon cancer.

fit as a fiddle, came as a huge shock as it was very quick.

it really makes you think of your own mortality.

so many people I know have died in thier 50s and 60s

We are all waiting in line, the biggest mistake you can make is to think you or others will only die once you are old.

@buttons123456 You can do those things - avoiding things that you might otherwise enjoy- and still die young having had a miserable life!
For the last 30 years of their lives my DPs ate M&S ready meals virtually every day, (including meat) had cream cakes at least three times a week, never did any exercise and lived to 86 & 87. Both of them smoked in their earlier years and DM had a heart condition.
When your number is up your number is up. Reducing intake of unhealthy food might give you a better quality of health in old age but definitely doesn't mean you won't die young.

This thread makes rather sobering reading TBH .