Why are HR people so toxic?

[workingwork]

Bullying and gaslighting, making up complete lies about you, using minor irrelevant details about you to twist into a story.

I know I know, HR are there to protect the employer, not the employees, but come on.

One of the HR people is my line manager, I tried complaining to her manager and I should've known it would all backfire. They're always going to turn things around and blame it on you, aren't they.

I was in an abusive relationship once and the techniques they use are very similar. I'm not exaggerating.

I know there's nothing I can do about this. The only option I have is to walk out as it's clear their poisonous behaviour will never stop.

I’m in a similar situation, except HR is part of a clique. I have been signed off for two months now with workplace stress when they went too far. We will be having workplace mediation and I’m hoping by dragging it into the open I can change the culture.

Is there anyone higher up you can talk to?

Please don't tar us all with the same brush, I spend most of my working life setting horrible employers straight.

HR are mostly like sneaky school bullies. I've known a handful who are nice though.

We are not all like that. I go out of my way to treat people with respect and empathy but there are some HR folk who really need to move with the times... we are employers, not de facto parents and we should treat people as adults.

Sorry you are having issues and if you feel able to, you should call them out on their behaviour and give your company the chance to resolve it before you feel you need to leave.

I have always been mystified as to why HR have so much power over employees in an organisation. I work in a university. Lecturers do the core work of the organisation. Without their skills and qualifications the university wouldn’t exist. And yet HR behave like they themselves are headmistresses of a school and the employees (the actual essential people in the organisation with phds and stuff) are treated like school students, children basically who have to defer to them and tip toe around them.

HR are essentially support staff but they act like they are the most important people in the organisation. Why?

I could never be friends with someone who worked in HR.

The company I worked at recently went into administration and the HR Manager absolutely lost it; screaming at people, telling them to fuck off if they found other jobs, accusing people of stealing company property, and physically blocking them from leaving if she 'suspected' they had stolen stuff (they hadn't and she knew it).

She was my friend, I thought, until I saw her true colours. I'll never go near her again!

Agree. The head of hr at my old firm was shagging one of the partners he was married with young kids. Neither I nor anyone I know has had a good experience with them.

Where’s that old popcorn eating gif?

Really? Is this a thing? I’ve never had any problem with HR staff in my long working life. Happy to accept that I’ve been fortunate but massively unreasonable to generalise based on individual experiences, IMO.

My gosh - some pretty harsh statements here! HR is not always like that.

Ouch! Not all HR people are the like that. I am in HR and care deeply for employees.

To be fair, you get good and bad ones, like in any profession. I've been screwed over by horrible HR people protecting the company against a discrimination claim (which they more or less admitted). In my last job I also worked with many HR people who were genuinely keen to do the right thing by employees, they would go above legal requirements where they felt that was the right thing to do.

Yet every time someone posts about a problem at work everyone says "take it to HR". Because HR people are professionals, specialists in their area and as valuable as everyone else.

HR are essentially support staff but they act like they are the most important people in the organisation. Why?

The role allows for gatekeeping. It's like being the holder of the key to the toilet roll cupboard.

HR people are always a bit weird. Usually the last people you would trust with something personal too.

You're not wrong Op. totally appreciate it's not all HR people but it's everyone I've met so far.

Like @DickDarstedly I work in a university where HR are on a power trip and make life difficult in so many ways. Toxic is the word for it. No doubt there are nice people in HR, but the role HR plays within an organisation seems to encourage toxic behaviour.

Dear Lord, I could never be friends with someone so narrow-minded. 😂

OP, it's like everything. I'm in HR and like to think I'm a decent person and care about employees, the organisation needs them after all. I've worked with some incredibly knowledgeable and dedicated people and some absolute cretins.

Every sector has this. It's like saying "why are all GP receptionists complete bitches?" Or "why is every accountant a boring arsehole?" It's simply not true. Some are of course, but many are not.

The HR team I've worked with in my organisation are total unsung heroes. Incredibly hard working and fair. It's rude to generalise about a whole profession just because you've had a bad experience.

I have had some really great HR people

but the primary function of HR is to protect the business and the most senior. Below that, we are seen as units of production.

I'm another in a university with an unbelievably shite HR department*. I've never had cause to use them for work-related issues but they're just entirely incompetent at the core functions of their jobs relating to pay, new hires, and changes in staff contracts.

I'm sure other places that pay decent wages and don't try to work their staff into the ground while the VC gets paid £300k a year to do the sum total of fuck all have useful, competent, and friendly HR people. They just don't exist in my university.

Me neither. They're support staff who are, IME, supportive.

I used to work in HR and would often put my head on the block, as I'd stick up for employees against the organisation that employees me (and pays my bills)!