Why are HR people so toxic?

[workingwork]

Bullying and gaslighting, making up complete lies about you, using minor irrelevant details about you to twist into a story.

I know I know, HR are there to protect the employer, not the employees, but come on.

One of the HR people is my line manager, I tried complaining to her manager and I should've known it would all backfire. They're always going to turn things around and blame it on you, aren't they.

I was in an abusive relationship once and the techniques they use are very similar. I'm not exaggerating.

I know there's nothing I can do about this. The only option I have is to walk out as it's clear their poisonous behaviour will never stop.

I'm also not surprised that HR people are trying to get the story changed!

Have you not calmed down yet?

You realise it doesn’t make sense that an entire profession would be bad apples?

I'm in HR and I'm not toxic (that I'm aware). I'm very good at keeping secrets - for my employer and for employees!

I have however had to manage capability processes with HR people in my team and they are the most defensive and least reflective of all the capability cases. Is there any element info truth in the 'stories? In all my years in HR I've never had the time to make up lies let alone the inclination.

How long have you been in post?

I agree it should say 'some' HR people as it is wrong to generalise about a whole profession.

Sadly, 100% of the HR people I've worked with over multiple organisations & more than 25 years in the workplace have all been toxic.

I hope that whatever problems are bothering you so much are resolved soon.

But it would hopefully more accurately represent the spread of experience of posters on this thread. Some of us work in organizations with good professional HR departments who do their job properly and are in no way, shape or form 'toxic'.

To your face HR will tell you they are there for you and behind your back it's all about how little they can pay you without you leaving and how they can get rid of you if you are difficult. HR stands for Human Remains.

Oh come on.. HR people are like any other people: some nice, some not so nice; some good at their jobs, some less so.

@SmallSoupcon Yes. It could be seen as the equivalent of thinking someone's your friend and then they backstab you at a later date.

Exactly this. Those who are offended by this thread only have their colleagues to blame for the reputation. HR in my work place are so cliquey and when they are nice to you it’s only because they want to find out gossip or what’s going on. Not because they genuinely give a shit. Whenever I’ve contacted them the response I get is rubbish (and that’s not just me saying that because i’m not happy with the response - they basically can’t be bothered to even give you the time of day). They have zero interpersonal skills and have faces like slapped arses. Agree some working in HR may be the opposite but that’s not been my experience thus far.

@workingwork i don’t know if you watched or followed the Allison Bailey ET, leaving aside the subject matter, the way the Heads of Chambers, managers etc. dealt with it was a shit show. As Barristers, including KCs, it was clear Garden Court Chambers didn’t even consider the relevant legislation, their own processes nor natural justice. A good HR professional would have stopped them and if they had taken advice it would never have gone to ET.

As I, and others, have said HRs role is to minimise the risk for the business, this can involve HR being made the scapegoats or the public face when the fault lies elsewhere. I have been involved in giving advice to several Boards/senior managers who have ignored it, no matter how hard I and my colleagues tried. In more than one case the long term implications for staff were awful think large scale redundancies, loss of a substantial pay rise etc. yet HR was blamed for Board decisions and funnily enough the Board was happy to perpetuate this view by making HR front all the comms.

Feel free to change the title if you want. It won't change the first-hand experience of any of the people who've commented here

What an aggressive response to a polite request.

They're welcome to change the title.

Our previous HR manager got dismissed for bullying her own team. Was very obstructive and on a serious power trip. Managers and directors actually dreaded entering into discussions with her.

Was going on for years apparently before someone blew the whistle.

Our new HR manager is a goddess, so supportive to everyone including staff at operational level, and this attitude has cascaded down throughout the entire HR department.

So my conclusion is, HR departments are what their leader makes it, and the only toxicity comes from the top.

@Eeiliethya How or who does someone go about dismissing an HR manager? How would it be possible?

I have found that when most people get promoted they aren't confident in using research-backed changes to make good working environments.

They rely on arse-covering HR because it backs their authority. HR people are the same - they're afraid of letting go of structures because their authority is based on those structures existing.

So they manage organisations using the same red tape and policies that they dislike as employees, instead of doing things that are proven to work.

My old CEO removed the arcane line management structures, and supported my efforts to remove all of the rules that were making people miserable. And everyone flourished as a result.

Depends on the size of the organisation. Usually someone in HR will advise senior managers what to do. Alternatively they bring in outside HR consultant.

I don't work in HR, but you deserve this!

It would be the same as dismissing anyone else!
Just follow fair procedures

Have to agree I'm afraid, of course I can only go by personal experience but I've dealt with HR people quite extensively both professionally and personally.

I was a PA to HR director and she got through her PAs like hot dinners treated them abysmally. However I was -stupid- rose to the challenge gave it good bash but it was too much, she sent me into a downward spiral and my MH was the worst it has ever been. Her team were cliquey and had an air of supremacy about them, I think their supposed power gets to them. Having said that I worked for another HR director at another firm and he was the nicest kindest guy, (just a shame his senior team weren't, again a similar kind of vibe amongst them)
I also have a close family member who has risen the ranks in the HR field, was a perfectly caring and kind person once upon a time but the job seems to have gone to their head and I have as little to do with them as possible now - heart of stone, very judgmental and preachy and that same air of superiority.

Oh come on. Nobody is that foolish.

If you want a “friend” in employment matters, you join a Union or call your professional body. Nobody in their right mind thinks HR are there as an ally of the employees.

I've not rtft as I'm in bed poorly and dont have the energy but the title grabbed me and I wanted to comment.

I've come across my fair share of toxic HR people. I think sometimes people enjoy the power trip. I used to be an HR Manager myself and ended up leaving the role as I was bullied by my Mamager. I wanted to help and protect employees. I wanted to help people with good onboarding, career development and fix problems. My Manager wanted me to stitch people up and find evidence to use against people. She was definitely on a power trip. I heard that several years after I left, enough people had left for her to be silently moved to another division in a more junior role. You get people who are good at their jobs and others who would walk over anyone for a payrise or power.

Likewise. But I've only ever worked for professional Fortune 500 companies.

In my experience people who feel HR are 'against' them have it everywhere they go.. the common denominator is them. They're normally shit and being managed out.

I've just found them useless, a bit like dealing with a bad solicitor. Also seems to be one of those professions where the good ones move on quickly.

Yes, I did a HR course CIPD and it really turned me off HR, really flew in the face of the reality that I was experiencing as well. the one time I went to HR and followed up politely because they ignored my first few emails, they got back to me with a link to some stupid video. Just so dismissive.

Years ago, I think you could have gone to HR and experienced a bit of warmth. A listening ear. Not now. They outsource that. There are confidential phone lines. It's good that it's confidential I guess but it compounds the ''shame'' of experiencing your work life through anything other than a rosy lens. If you were frustrated, over worked, undermined, bullied or ecluded at work, the only support is a confidential phone line....... So in other words, this is your shame.