Why are HR people so toxic?

[workingwork]

Bullying and gaslighting, making up complete lies about you, using minor irrelevant details about you to twist into a story.

I know I know, HR are there to protect the employer, not the employees, but come on.

One of the HR people is my line manager, I tried complaining to her manager and I should've known it would all backfire. They're always going to turn things around and blame it on you, aren't they.

I was in an abusive relationship once and the techniques they use are very similar. I'm not exaggerating.

I know there's nothing I can do about this. The only option I have is to walk out as it's clear their poisonous behaviour will never stop.

In our “organisation” HR people are seemingly competing who can abuse more employees and cause more offence. I’ve never ever been treated with so much disrespect as from this tiny room filled with venom spitting people. There’s one person that’s different though, like a breath of fresh air. She always looks scared tho.

Wow. What a weirdly unpleasant thread. They're people, op. Like you.

Not aliens.

As you say, HR are there for the employer. They get paid by them to protect them. Fall in line or face the consequences.

Meh. There will always be good and bad. There are also lots of toxic middle managers and awful senior leaders.

I've also heard through the grapevine that several people have left because of this same woman. So many people find her impossible to work with.

Yes the organisation pays the HR teams wages but a huge part of their role entails keeping the organisation on the right side of an ET, should they ever end up in one. Most HR professionals will challenge poor leaders on their behaviour; it’s in the organisation’s best interests. I’ve worked in HR for many years and yes I’ve worked with some absolute monsters, one quite recently, but I have to say, when the team spoke up, the organisation listened and they were quickly exited from the business.

@workingwork I'm sorry you have had this experience. My GIL (girlfriend I love) works in HR (Human Resources) and I haven't the fingers nor the toes to count how many evenings she has vacillated over the challenges her job presents.
Imagine being viewed as the enemy without ever having done anything but your job so you can put food on the table for your KW (Kiddy Winkles)
In all walks of life there are SBs (Shitebags) and that's never going to change.

I hope you find the inner peace you crave. 🤘

I hated the woman who was HR at my last job. She was just plain evil. She caused about 85% of the stress in my work life. Transfering her anxiety on to our team members, mood switching every hour, wanting constant updating about every bloody detail of every decision from every single person in the practice, sticking her nose in everyone's business... When I went into early labor (I'm pretty sure she didn't help my stress levels those few weeks beforehand) there wasn't any empathy from her. I knew after that first phone call with her that I was never going back to that practice. A year or so later, a colleague at the same place who I still speak to, decided to leave and basically all the shit hit the fan. The colleague gave her a good telling off and left feeling liberated in the end. As far as I know she's still there vom

Can your union not help? Chances are they'll have a very close, albeit not particularly friendly relationship with HR.

I don't have a union.

HR are to companies what receptionists are to GP surgeries.

That's a shame, you might want to find out which would be the best to join especially if things are going to need to escalate, although some might not help you with an issue that's already started. A decent rep will usually cushion even the worst HR. If you can't get help from a union then you could always contact ACAS, if you are in the UK

Two of my absolute favourite professional mentors are heads of HR (I’m not in HR, I’m in consulting). Bizarre to dismiss an entire function this way.

HR in my company has also been absolutely lovely when it came to Mat Leaves, understanding holiday allowances, helping me take a mental health leave… the HR folks at my company are wonderful human beings who do their jobs well, looking after employees and the interests of the company. I have tremendous respect for them.

Yeah I haven't known many nice HR people

In my experience HR people are, (1) always women, (2) attracted to gossip and drama, (3) seldom reliable with confidential information, (4) petty.

I would NEVER tell my story to anyone in HR. Straight to the decision-maker, on all matters.

Every job I've ever had, the Hr dept has been the bane of my life. My theory is twofold, firstly that in most places it isn't regulated properly, anyone seems to be able to go into it, and secondly, because of that fact, people with few discernible skills and very little experience of the real world often seem to not only flourish but rise at an astonishing rate.

I've recently moved jobs and if I'd known in advance which team had just taken over our section I'm not sure I would have taken the job. The latest wheeze in the area of the economy I work in has been all about staff engagement but when you suggest things like, you know, actually either adjusting managerial expectations or employing enough staff to fo the job, and giving a monkey's about the ones you've got, you get blank looks. And then we have well being officers who weren't aware until a couple of weeks ago that you need a referral to use a food bank, they genuinely thought you just trot along and ask for free food....

Though I play the game in public, I really can't take most of what HR does seriously, so much of it is what used to be described in terms of Guardian non jobs of the week...and often extraordinarily well paid for the job content and level of the qualifications and experience of those involved.

One day I will write a book about the joy HR has caused me personally as both an employee and a line manager over the last 25 years....

I guess everyone has to justify their jobs? I avoid HR with a barge pole. They’re there for the company not the employee. Very computer says no mindset.

Wow, this thread is grim. I work so hard for the staff where I work.

Can't say I've ever had an issue with HR 🤷‍♀️

From threads on here though, i can' just imagine the entitled, shit employees they have to deal with day in, day out. Must be a tough gig and a hard line to straddle. Say something they don't want to hear and they just go and get signed off.

I’m in HR because I love helping people. Then again, today we met with a staff member accused of making inappropriate remarks and he said that he’d done it because he suffers from anxiety and depression. 🙄

I worked for an international company, needed 6 weeks off following surgery. HR woman based 300 miles away phoned to tell me I'd be going on to SSP as I'd used all my sick days after 15 days off. I queried why as my contract stated 60 days allowance before SSP. She hadn't even looked at my contract and asked when I'd signed it, so clearly had no clue of my continuous 15 year employment with the company. Fairly basic HR task I'd have thought.

Same woman also tried to tell us that Royal Mail would treat our company's 2nd class post as 1st class so we had to use 2nd class only to save money. A colleague pointed out that this wasn't true (her partner is a postie, he said it was a lie) but she just dismissed her saying she didn't know where she'd heard that but she'd seen a signed contract so it was in fact true. We did ask how every employee in every royal mail delivery office in the country would know how to look out for an envelope with the company logo and treat it differently, but she changed the subject. So HR had no qualms about blatantly lying to their fellow employees' faces and lying again when pulled up on it in a group meeting where all 20 attendees knew they were lying.

Yep, agree OP. They'll lie that black is white to your face (and suggest it's your fault you've gone mad) even when it's as clear as day that what you're saying is true.

Thing is, a company doesn't want a nice, caring person in HR - they want Himmler in a polyester blouse, so there is an element of selection there which is out of the hands of individual HR people. . The more ruthless they are, the more they'll be in demand. Then once they're in, they can't really mix with the employees as they might have to make them redundant one day, so that encourages the cliquiness.

It's the power.

Perhaps because the academics look down on them as "just the support staff" 🤷🏻‍♀️

At my previous employer two women complained about sexual harrassment. The HR manager arranged the paperwork, got two security staff and escorted the accused man off of the premises the same day because in case of such a complaint she felt that the employees needed to be protected whileit was investigated if he was guilty or not. Part of the paperwork was that he was not allowed on the premises unless he called HR first and would be accompanied by security and he was not allowed to contact any employee except HR and he would of course get his oportunity to defend himself.

Some HR managers are great!