If you have two children, do you ever wish you'd stopped at one?

[TreacsPotNoodle]

Obviously I don't mean wishing your second child away!

But do you ever think if you could go back in time you would have just had the one child?

DP and I have always said we want 2 children and now DS is 2.5 we are considering TTC end of this year. Now it's getting closer though I'm starting to panic incase we are making the wrong decision?!

Financially we can afford it (money will be a little bit tighter especially with cost of living but will be manageable) I'm just starting to doubt myself and wether I can handle it! I struggle enough as it is and think am I mad to add another child to the mix? But then I don't feel like i'm "done" having children if that makes sense?

Never. Watching them together is the best bit, mine are 4 and 11mths and they adore each other. By the time you have your second, your first should be a bit more independent. You'll still get things done, maybe not everyday!

Yes. Life would be a lot easier, and I think my oldest would prefer it tbh,

Oh yes, definitely. One would have been much much easier, cheaper and we could have given so much more time to the first.

Is this post purposely ignorant? Half the pleasure, really?

No, I could never regret the sibling factor. I bitch about the stress of having 2 kids but I couldn't live without either of them. Besides, I lost my freedom by having one, and that's the thing I miss.

I'd actually love for them to have another sibling in the mix but I know my limitations!

I love both my children wouldn't want to be without either of them.

But OMG I could do without the bickering! But then when they occasionally play together it's amazing. I dream they will love one another as adults

I joke if i had known about dogs i wouldnt have had any children.

You will get very few people wishing the life of their much loved child away.

I will say i found having two very challenging.

Never. Hard work when young as had two under 2, but now they're teenagers. Winding each other up one minute and crying with laughter together the next. I love seeing them having fun together and I know that they would defend each other to the hilt - they definitely have each other's backs.

No. Its amazing the relationship between them is incredible.

I had all the same feelings as you OP! After DD1 I was adamant no more children . My heart sank when I seen her playing alone with a dolls house one afternoon and we were very much blessed when DD2 was born !

Since then we have had 2 boys the youngest being 4 months . I feel forever grateful for my beautiful children ! It’s hard work some days and there’s always some drama going on but you can do this ! Good luck xx

No regrets here. I've got twins so didn't have a choice in the matter but despite the bickering and fighting as well as the additional costs I don't regret it.
Plus when we go on holiday we can send them off to play / hang out while we drink at the bar.
They look out for each other in ways I can't and they help each other with homework, this is great because I can't make head nor tail of it.

Never regretted it. Age gap is less than 2 years and when eldest was 3, I did sometimes wish I was still pregnant/younger one was newborn rather than active toddler so I could do more with her but Covid lockdown is the main reason I felt that way. I found that time really tough in terms of quality time with either child

Now older, I love the close age gap and similar interests. They also share lots of friends and fit into same groups at some activities

Same here, word for word.

It can be hard juggling everything with different needs for both but the benefit Ive seen for both kids having a sibling definitely outweighs the extra work! They play together a lot and thats really helped socially for both.
Our second has been much more confident starting nursery and our eldest loves having a sibling. I love watching them together too!

Never.
They can be equally irritating at times, but thankfully not usually in sync, so I can be enjoying one child's good behaviour while suffering the other one being particularly difficult.

No. Seeing them grow together is an absolute joy. Unless they're screaming at each other, but I block that out 🤣

I felt I should have stopped at one for about the first year and a half. Now, 12 years on, I love having 2 and would really regret it if I'd stopped at 1.

No, but I occasionally wonder whether I should have had 3. Then I slap myself and am very glad with two.

I regularly think this. Mine are 8 and 5.
The 5 year old is really really hard work and the 8 year old has been manageable once she was a toddler.

I sometimes think, oh how much easier things would be, but its the age and temperament of the youngest that's hard.

I'm glad I had two, but I also regret it. But then I regret having both some times.

Not helpful at all sorry.

No, so glad we had two!

Never.

I found the first 21/2 years of two really hard. I didn’t regret it but I felt terribly stretched, sleep deprived etc. my two love each other now and it is lovely they can play together. I often find it is really easy with them on a 1:1 basis. Part of the challenge is coordinating their different needs and wants and giving the right amount of attention.

My eldest certainly didn’t care for having a baby sister. I remember feeling awful when she turned around and said I wish she’d never been born. It sounded so adult and horrid for a 3yo. There are often a lot of expectations of siblings being great play mates but often it’s actually pretty shit having a baby come along if you’re 2/3. That changes later when the baby becomes a little person that can be a playmate but managing expectations about the early days is quite important.

Yes; I was diagnosed with a serious health condition as a result of my second pregnancy, and it was very hard not to feel regret that in having DC2 I’d made a terrible mistake. In the early days I’d have given her back if it meant I would be well.

I now recognise that’s part of the trauma response, and DD2 and I have a much better bond. I don’t regret her anymore, and I’m slowly healing, but I just wanted to be a voice for those women who’ve experienced PND/PTSD and haven’t had a simple experience.

My daughter is almost 3 and I don't really want any more.
Having read this, now I feel guilty about it. I almost feel now I'd regret not having another.

I'm just not bothered at the moment. I feel like I should be now!