School want me to give DC double the amount of food for lunch?

[dreakdays]

DC is 5 and has...

A cheese and onion/egg mayo sandwich

A cheese

Small pot of olives (I put these in, about 4/5 olives)

A peperami

A yogurt

A little cake bar, such as a banana soreen bar

His teacher has requested I double this, as apparently he's finishing his lunch and trying to steal other Children's food!

For breakfast he has peanut butter on toast (he won't eat anything else like porridge etc)

I really don't think it's necessary to double his food. I'd give things like veg etc or fruit but he won't eat it. It just won't get eaten and if I try to send it amongst everything else, the school tell me not to send it in as he doesn't like it

This is a special needs school but I'm a bit annoyed at having to double up on lunches

I think he's just trying to explore more stuff and needs to just be told no here...

Definitely think he just likes the look of what others are eating, especially if there are no rules on what to pack so probably seeing a whole bunch of sweets/crisps etc. You are already providing a lot of options and he is eating it all with the exception of the yoghurt. Maybe switch this out for something like crackers/mini sausages/pieces of chicken etc and add an extra half of sandwich. If he will only eat peanut butter on toast for breakfast, double up the portion with a hot choc/hot milk and honey etc. My 6 year old has a non stop appetite but will only eat a 3 item packed lunch (sandwich, fruit and treat like a brunch bar/mini roll/cake bar etc with some juice) because he says if I pack more it takes too much of his play time lol but he has a big breakfast and fruit at break time as well as snack after school and dinner with pudding. You pack way more for lunch and it sounds like enough to me

Yes this is what I think my son has similar disabilities and he would try and take other children's food if he fancied there's instead he has a school dinner at his special school but when I provide a packd lunch at his holiday club ,he will just try and take somebody else's food if theirs looks nicer to him and I provide a variety of snacks 🙈

Honestly I'd try to find something else he'd like to add to his breakfast. My GD gets very hungry but now she has breakfast with us three days a week before I take her in and she will eat a boiled egg as well as her usual cereal. She won't eat eggs at home! Children are hungry at different times of day but usually can be tempted.
How about adding a carton of some sort of UHT milky drink to his lunch? It will keep if he doesn't fancy it that day.

Could other children be taking his food?

Try freezing the yoghurt. By the time he gets to it it'll be like ice cream, so more of a treat and might stop him trying to get other kids treats

Our lunches are free for all pupils too, but that's only since the start of the year. (SEN school)

Are you in Scotland too?

@mountainsunsets But even if you like the stuff you have, it can still be a horrible feeling to be the only child whose lunch is different
The solution to children feeling uncomfortable being different is NOT to make them conform. It’s not the 1970s ffs
He might be the right weight for his height but that doesn't mean he can't also have a a bag of crisps or something instead of a Soreen bar. You’ve really made a weird hierarchy of food in your head haven’t you? Malt loaf is far more filling than a bag of crisps and very few people eat crisps every day.

He doesn’t need more calories unless he is losing weight.

Double it, what a joke. That's more than my 6foot 1 husband takes.

Nothing to do with a hierarchy of foods and everything to do with knowing how it feels to be the "odd one out" for no real reason. If all it took for my child to feel included was a bag of Wotsits, I'd bloody well buy them.

You say people don't eat crisps daily, but everywhere I've ever worked, most people buy a meal deal for lunch (sandwich, crisps and a drink) or bring the equivalent from home.

A quick Google also tells me that we eat 6bn packs of crisps a year in this country, which is an average of 150 packs a year, per person. So yes - most people do eat crisps on a regular basis, despite what MN would have you believe.

I would before increasing his lunch say to the teachers can they confirm at the start on lunch what you sent him is in his lunchbox, maybe his food is being taken. Also add an apple in the meantime. The food you are sending i feel is already alot. I wonder if the other kids have something with a cartoon or superhero on it which is attractive to him, a trip to the supermarket will likely see your son heading straight to that item.

Maybe the school need to adjust things here
When my son was at primary school ( SEN) he would get very anxious during mealtimes so they would allow him to have his meal ten minutes before the other kids came in ,they also noticed he was very anxious to get to his dessert so they gave him his main and dessert at the same time and he would then eat more of both ,reasonable adjust,it being a SEN school there are lots of strategies they could try.

very few people eat crisps every day

I do. I also have a BMI of 18.

OP, your son is clearly eating healthily in general, so some crisps and a bit of chocolate/a biscuit in his packed lunch would do him no harm at all. You also don't need to worry about the Food Police as his school doesn't have silly rules about "bad foods".

As for a bloody hard boiled egg: who would seriously want to eat a hard boiled egg for lunch that has been hanging around in a warm room since breakfast time? I'd be wanting to snaffle someone else's Monster Munch if the alternative were a warm hard boiled egg.

It’s a good job the anti crisp brigade don’t come to my house! Ds has autism and severe arfid. He is tube fed for 90% of his nutrition. His packed lunch has been an apple and a packet of ready salted crisps every day for years.

at home we go through about 18 packets of crisps a week (and 1.5kg of carrots and 30 apples -other than the crisps I do sometimes wonder if he is a horse!)

I had this with my oldest who was at a SEN school too. I think that is more than adequate for a five year old. We ended up splitting the lunch into two separate lunch boxes and explaining that lunchbox 1 is for first break and lunchbox 2 is for lunchtime. It took a while but did actually work

I agree. I doubt its a hunger thing with that amount of food. If you doubled his food he'd prob still be dipping into other kids' munchboxes...

@AnightwiththeTiger

Prader-Willi Syndrome (at least fucking say it / spell it right) is so much more than food seeking.

I loathe how people suggest this on absolutely any thread about children overeating.

It's very unusual to get to 5yo without PWS being diagnosed. It's a genetic condition, usually diagnosed shortly after birth and overeating is just one tiny part of the condition which doesn't present immediately.

"Apparently" he is stealing other children's food? You need to make sure that is actually the case! If he is indeed stealing other children's food, he needs to be disciplined to stop, because from the list you've given--if that's what you're packing every single day, it should be more than enough.

If not, why does he need more food? Is he going through a "growth spurt"?

Or are other children stealing HIS food? The teacher needs to come clean with you about this, and you need to have a face-to-face discussion with her/him.

I once had a camp counsellor who "borrowed" my flashlight and gave the batteries in it to one of her "pets" and I had to buy new ones at the camp store. It happens.

Op fgs just feed him. He is hungry and you are doubting the teacher. Carry on ignoring the school at your peril.

What happens if you ignore the school?

Crisps are fucking terrible for your teeth.

I think you are right, that he wants junk food. I have a 5 year old with SEN and a hugely restrictive diet who won't eat any school food, but despite his fussiness, I really don't like the culture of adding chocolate biscuits and crisps into children's packed lunches every single day, but I did eventually soften on that last year because all the other packed lunch children had it and I didn't want my son to be the odd one out and he was asking obsessively. So a few days a week I add in some junk such as a chocolate chip brioche, chocolate rice cake, a couple of biscuits etc. On the days he doesn't have those I give him a juice carton. I also use fabric sandwich and food wraps with Velcro, with characters on which makes his lunch more fun looking. He also has a travelling piece of fruit each week that comes back and forth as a lunch box accessory to satisfy nosy dinner ladies. I would rather add extras than have him go hungry though, he then eats the leftovers as an after school snack. Things like Bear YoYos and Organix oat bars.

You better tell DS dentist then who has constantly said how amazing his teeth are!

i would tell the teacher it seems like an impulse control issue more than a hunger issue, and they can resolve it by possibly changing his seating arrangements so he's further from other people/next to a teacher. She's probably saying to pack him Monster Munch for an easy life (not saying that judgmentally but just as an easy way to 'solve' the problem).

Nonsense. Poor dental hygiene is terrible for your teeth.