School want me to give DC double the amount of food for lunch?

[dreakdays]

DC is 5 and has...

A cheese and onion/egg mayo sandwich

A cheese

Small pot of olives (I put these in, about 4/5 olives)

A peperami

A yogurt

A little cake bar, such as a banana soreen bar

His teacher has requested I double this, as apparently he's finishing his lunch and trying to steal other Children's food!

For breakfast he has peanut butter on toast (he won't eat anything else like porridge etc)

I really don't think it's necessary to double his food. I'd give things like veg etc or fruit but he won't eat it. It just won't get eaten and if I try to send it amongst everything else, the school tell me not to send it in as he doesn't like it

This is a special needs school but I'm a bit annoyed at having to double up on lunches

I think he's just trying to explore more stuff and needs to just be told no here...

This does sound more Sen related. Perhaps communicating that he likes the look of what other children have. If he's doing it after he's finished maybe he's bored. Are they allowed to play after they finish or do they have to wait for everyone to finish? DS used to do this when he was around this age.

My experience with Sen schools is they aren't good at setting boundaries and once we've had that conversation with them things improve. They seem to have an issue saying 'no' which isn't helpful.

I would also try to push the drinking more as craving salty foods can be an sign of dehydration and he does seem to be being drawn to salty food

This worries me. Weight management is a huge issue for young people and adults with SEN. Also IME lunchtimes are very long in SEN schools. The staff need to distract him once he has finished his lunch.

To double seems a lot. All my children had was a sandwich (2 slices of bread) a yogurt and a piece of fruit. On Friday they added a chocolate biscuit (like a club or breakaway) or a bag of crisps. Granted they don’t have any SEN but they never took anyone else’s lunch and pretty much had the same lunch from reception until sixth form.

It would be entirely reasonable for it to change. I’m surprised they have even put that into the budget.

I looked at 3 SEN schools local to me and non of them had free lunch! I wish they did though 😂 @HollyJollyXmas57

We were told when DS joined that they used each mealtime as a social communication therapy type session with lots of adult support and to help with restricted eating that often comes with autism so it's free due to that 🤷‍♀️.

If the teacher suggested Monster munches, then I suspect your DS is trying to pinch crisps, biscuits or cakes from others. Give him a treat in his lunch box.

My son struggles to drink & would always say he was still hungry. He’s nearly 8 now & over the last 6 months or so has started to realise the difference between hunger & thirst. His constant demands for food have improved & he has started asking for a drink now.

although when he is having a growth spurt, he’s like a bottomless pit & is constantly grazing on something. He also has a lean athletic build.

That’s plenty for lunch. Maybe stick an apple in too as those take kids ages to eat! Won’t stop him trying to nick chocolate or similar though I’m sure!

You can't have a child stealing another child's food though. Imagine if you were the other child's parent, you would complain to the teacher rightly so, you cant have another child stealing your child's lunch.

A growing 5 year old.

Maybe he needs a bigger breakfast too. My 5 year old will often have a bowl of cereal + toast.

That's not tye case at my sons special needs school it's only children who are entitled to free school meals that get them free ,I also pay for tuck ,they get breakfast in the morning and snacks etc
Op is it just that he fancies the look of somebody else's lunch?My son has school dinners at his special school, but when he goes to his special needs holiday club he has a packed lunch, apparently he kept trying to get everyone else's lunch as he liked the look of what they were having
So i just now send in a variety of things for him so he can Pick and choose .

Why don't you ask him?
Maybe he's still hungry, or maybe he likes the look of what others are having and wants to try some new things?
If my child's lunchbox was coming home completely empty daily I'd be adding an extra item or two anyway.

My 2.5 year old has just started on packed lunches at nursery and he seems to eat more of it there than he does at home. I keep debating if i should add more.
Could be that?

I agree it’s probably food envy. I guess if he doesn’t eat the yoghurt then don’t bother with it, give him a bigger bit of cheese instead. Maybe as a compromise you could put a pot with some crisps/mini cheddars/crackers in? I think a whole pack of crisps is a lot for a five year old and I’d be concerned he’d eat those in preference to everything else. Would a fruit winder thing be any good as a sweet snack if that’s what he’s after? In terms of fruit mine would bring home say an apple at year age but would gobble up pots of sliced grapes, berries etc. Worth a try?

This. Bloody hell that lunch is bland and boring (and middle class). Where's the joy

In my home country, kids are expected to eat 5 slices of bread a day. That was literally government guidance when I was a child. For lunch, my 4 yr old godson easily had 2 sandwiches.

One sandwich sounds very little to me, even with the other stuff (which we got on top of bread sandwiches as well). Why not give him more? The worst that can happen is that he doesn't finish it.

The Op hasent said wether her child is verbal or not ,my 12 year old is non verbal, it might not br a case of just asking him.

id swAp the peparami for monster munch

The OP had already posted to say he can’t speak and doesn’t communicate well. At least read the thread before proffering advice that I’m sure the OP would have done if she could have!

It may not be food envy as such. May just not be an understanding of ‘belongings’. My non verbal son had no idea at age 5 that plates belong to other people (actually he’s an adult now and your roast potatoes are still not safe on a plate next to him).

I think since he's leaving his yogurt he's not actually hungry, he just wants the treat food everyone else is eating. Could you put some honey roast nuts in? They're a sweet treat but also proteiny and more filling that a Swiss roll. But I'd just tell the school to tell him to eat his yogurt if he's hungry .

I think it is worth sending in extra just so that hunger can be ruled out. My own children always seemed to eat more at school than they did at home. If you ever take them on a school trip they are all gasping for food by about 10 am!

I also think the school should be absolutely clear will all children that there is no sharing of lunches ever. An absolutely firm blanket rule is easy for everyone to understand and manage.

All the things he has apart from the olives are quick to eat.

You could try an extra half sandwich and something that takes longer to eat like raisins, those little yoghurt covered fruit things, the fruit winders etc.

Does he get a separate snack for break? Worth checking what is getting eaten when. He's perhaps demolished most of it before dinner!

If these things don't work then you put the onus back on the school but best to be seen to work with them first

Easier said than done in a SEN school 🤣

Just add a packet of monster munch a day like the teacher suggested. Then he has a "packet" and the fun with having crisps. Monster munch are fun on fingers and fun to have.

You obviously provide a healthy breakfast and tea, he's healthy, so crisps in his lunch will help him fit in and not harm him in any way.