School want me to give DC double the amount of food for lunch?

[dreakdays]

DC is 5 and has...

A cheese and onion/egg mayo sandwich

A cheese

Small pot of olives (I put these in, about 4/5 olives)

A peperami

A yogurt

A little cake bar, such as a banana soreen bar

His teacher has requested I double this, as apparently he's finishing his lunch and trying to steal other Children's food!

For breakfast he has peanut butter on toast (he won't eat anything else like porridge etc)

I really don't think it's necessary to double his food. I'd give things like veg etc or fruit but he won't eat it. It just won't get eaten and if I try to send it amongst everything else, the school tell me not to send it in as he doesn't like it

This is a special needs school but I'm a bit annoyed at having to double up on lunches

I think he's just trying to explore more stuff and needs to just be told no here...

What about porridge bars/flapjacks I make them for ds mashed banana, oats, splash of milk then throw in a handful of something else, like blueberries or grated apple and a spoon of nut butter, not sure why pp said this is salty we get while nut butter sand the only thing on the ingredients list is peanuts/almonds/cashews. Mix it all together put it in a lived brownie Tom and bake for about 25 minutes. Keep in the fridge for a week.
If he wants sweet and you're amenable to it you could drizzle a little honey on top before baking or use raisins/sutanas even a few chocolate chips.
Also easy for DC to help making, filling and nutritious.

I find it weird that they worded it "double the amount". They could have easily said "more food" , I dont think they thought about what they were saying too much. Plus it looks like from your other posts that its not the amount of food which is causing problems anyway.

It's not nice being the child that's sat there with a pot of olives and a loaf of Soreen while everyone else is allowed some crisps or a small chocolate bar. well unless you like olives and soreen? If “everyone else got haribo on white bread and a caffeine drink would you envy that too? He’s the right weight for height so he is receiving the right number of calories. Lots of people prefer malt loaf to chocolate and pepperoni to crisps.

Do they have break time as well? Are you allowed to send him in with a snack for break time as well? He may not feel quite so ravenous at lunch time.

I remember being ravenous at primary school by lunch time, eating all my school dinner (which was on proper dinner plates so probably a decent portion, and quite a stodgy square meal) pudding (often plum crumble and custard - that kind of thing) and often seconds!

That sounds more than enough to me.

OP, your son's lunch sounds lovely and I'm massively envious that he eats all those foods! My own 11 yo DS goes to a SEN school (severe ASD/LDs) and his lunchbox is mostly comprised of as many different crunchy things as I think he might eat. To be fair, some of what look like crisps are those protein-rich ones made with ground up pulses, but he's essentially a vegan (without eating much in the way of fruit or veg and no pulses that aren't in crisp form) and I wonder how he functions, frankly.

Some children with SEN or LDs have issues with not knowing they're full, and will therefore keep on helping themselves past satiety. Alternatively, some repetitive actions will just keep on happening (ie snaffling someone else's food until they're stopped) because it's just the way they are. I'm surprised that staff at a special school wouldn't recognise this, and that they don't realise the food you've provided is more than adequate for a normal, and lean, 5 yo. I think school need to do some gentle intervention or management to stop your son from helping himself (there are all sorts of safeguarding reasons why this shouldn't be happening anyway) rather than taking the lazy way out and asking you to double his food! I'm not convinced it would stop these behaviours, anyway. There are various things they could do, like using social stories to help guide him away from this behaviour, or siting him somewhere he can't do this, while still keeping him eating as part of a group. Supervision is what's needed here, not more food FFS!

Open a nice civil conversation about this with his classroom staff. Ask to come in and have a chat about it, preferably at a mealtime where you can see how things are. It's not really acceptable for school to shunt this onto you or try and shame you into thinking you're underfeeding him. You really are not.

While not wanting to make assumptions about the classroom staff here, not everyone has great training at special schools. Recruitment is well nigh impossible, it's a hard job and there is rapid turnover of staff in some schools. It may well be that TAs/auxiliary staff are just not fully trained in this area. To sum up - do NOT give extra food if you know him well and know this is perfectly sufficient. Open a dialogue and ask them what strategies they will use to manage this BEHAVIOUR, it is not a nutritional deficit and not down to you 'starving' him.

As this is a special school I imagine the children are fed frequently throughout the day ,my son gets breakfast aa soon as he gets in school around 9am lunch around 12 and snacks before home time

My DF said that I ate loads at that age and I was small. It may be that he is hungry or it may be that he wants the nice things that others have or it may be he doesnt understand that you cannot take others food or a mix.

I would give him another sandwich and a treat and see how he gets on.

Swap the yoghurt for something crunchy, its a key texture and might satisfy something.

Steal other children’s food? How old is your child? This sounds like more of a behavioural issue than anything else

Did you completely miss the fact the child is in a SEN school ?

I also have a 5 year old who will eat a very good meal and sometimes still be hungry, or think she's hungry, or just fancy more of something she's had even though I'm already giving her portion sizes bigger than the average 'needs' for a five year old. If she's actually hungry she'll eat whatever I offer her but I tend to stick to healthy stuff for more as that sorts out whether she's actually hungry vs just wanting more pudding... a bit of banana, oatcake, chunk of cucumber, bit of chicken.

DD burns all the calories off and is slender and fit & healthy. She's very very active. It wouldn't be the right thing to double her food intake though as at some point her body will stop making use of the excess and she'd end up overweight with ingrained habits to overeat.

I was a child who would have seconds and thirds of everything. I was praised for my appetite but in truth I ate an obscene amount and ended up overweight as a preteen/teenager.

Stick to your guns. The packed lunch sounds like plenty and good variety.

But even if you like the stuff you have, it can still be a horrible feeling to be the only child whose lunch is different 🤷🏻‍♀️

He might be the right weight for his height but that doesn't mean he can't also have a a bag of crisps or something instead of a Soreen bar.

But he's trying to steal other children's food?

Would he drink a smoothie carton? DD loves those and says they're really filling. She also takes various things like pasta instead of a sandwich and those fridge raiders chicken or some chicken chunks in a little tub. Boiled egg?

I wouldn't double up on what you're giving him but swap some things out for more protein instead.

Give him some crisp or a treat bar.it’s part of a healthy diet fgs.don’t start his young life putting foods in categories or not giving it. He will want it and get it somehow except crave and need it instead of just seeing it as another food,normal.

That would be enough food for me so definitely seems like enough for a 5 year old

So swap the yoghurt for something else he will eat. Its a waste of food if nothing else to send something you now he won't touch. What about those cake bars I ntbe fridge - it'll be sweet and chocolate for him but it's it'll give the calcium / dairy you want from the yohgurt

I doubt he's actually hungry. There's lots of reasons for overeating.

He is 5 you could ask him if it's because he is still hungry or he fancies trying other kids food maybe change it up a little and try new things, I would listen to the teacher and add something coz it can be annoying to the other kids .

He's non verbal so the Op can't ask him.

Maybe add another sanwich, one piece of bread doubled over, a packet of crisps and a small packet of haribo.

Send something with a bit more protein. A few cocktail sausages or a hard boiled egg?

I'm starting to think the majority of people of MN are borderline eating disordered

That's a well established fact.

I legit think this is why the school have asked!
try the obvious solution and if it doesn’t work, they know to move onto others .. all well saying it’s a huge lunch but if it’s not enough for him, all the behaviour work in the world isn’t going to help if he’s too hungry to focus!