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Original poster

School want me to give DC double the amount of food for lunch?

250 replies

dreakdays · 29/09/2022 22:11

DC is 5 and has...

A cheese and onion/egg mayo sandwich

A cheese

Small pot of olives (I put these in, about 4/5 olives)

A peperami

A yogurt

A little cake bar, such as a banana soreen bar

His teacher has requested I double this, as apparently he's finishing his lunch and trying to steal other Children's food!

For breakfast he has peanut butter on toast (he won't eat anything else like porridge etc)

I really don't think it's necessary to double his food. I'd give things like veg etc or fruit but he won't eat it. It just won't get eaten and if I try to send it amongst everything else, the school tell me not to send it in as he doesn't like it

This is a special needs school but I'm a bit annoyed at having to double up on lunches

I think he's just trying to explore more stuff and needs to just be told no here...

OP posts:
5zeds · 30/09/2022 07:54

If you’ve stopped eating with him because he snaffles yours it’s probably just poor manners rather than he’s starving because it sounds more than enough to me. You and staff need to come up with a program to start teaching him not to take others food not feed him more. Monster munch is gross.

Sirzy · 30/09/2022 07:56

OriginalUsername3 · 30/09/2022 07:36

I think since he's leaving his yogurt he's not actually hungry, he just wants the treat food everyone else is eating. Could you put some honey roast nuts in? They're a sweet treat but also proteiny and more filling that a Swiss roll. But I'd just tell the school to tell him to eat his yogurt if he's hungry .

It’s not that simple especially when special needs are involved.

ds has extreme food issues but no amount of hunger would make him eat the “wrong” food or in the “wrong” place to the extent if he has home crisps at school he won’t eat them.

MagnaQuestion · 30/09/2022 07:57

It may be gross to you but part of school is fitting in and if you have additional needs it's even harder to understand why everyone else has crisps and you don't.

It really isn't a problem just to put a packet of crisps in (which seems to be the real problem) no need to double it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General education General food
LizzieSiddal · 30/09/2022 07:58

His teacher did suggest 'a pack of monster munch or something' at first

Did she really?

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 30/09/2022 08:01

As the school doesn't have a 'no crisps/sweet stuff' policy, I'd add a Milky Way or a finger of Fudge, or one of those individual chocolate rolls or something. I'd also ditch the yoghurt (not least as he doesn't eat it) and add a small packet of crisps or crisp-like things (lentil chips or something, if you are ideologically opposed to crisps).

I'd rather have a Milky Way than a banana Soreen cake so I can rather see his point if he's wanting what the other children have got.

melafixer · 30/09/2022 08:02

That’s more than my 10 & 12 year olds eat for lunch. But each to their own, he’s got a good appetite. If he wants more give him veg sticks - no more processed stuff!

I don’t think it’s hunger he’s got - just needs to work on impulse control. He’s still only little m, has SN and the TA needs work on communicating more with him to figure out what it is he’s trying to say.

And yes to a bigger breakfast…

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 30/09/2022 08:02

Meant to say I'd also ditch the pepperami. That has more crap in it than a packet of crisps or a small bar of chocolate.

mountainsunsets · 30/09/2022 08:03

The full fat yoghurt comes home every day. The only thing he won't eat

So why do you keep sending it?

Swap the yoghurt for something he will eat instead.

MagnaQuestion · 30/09/2022 08:04

Yep seems obvious really. Yes eyeing up the crisps. Swap the peparami for crisps.

Don't keep sending in a yoghurt if it doesn't get eaten ...

EmeraldShamrock1 · 30/09/2022 08:05

Could you put some honey roast nuts in?

Please don't send in nuts of any kind.

Amy May Shead the ITV producer who is left brain damaged through a nut allergy one bite of food that contained peanut dust.

NoDairyNoProblem · 30/09/2022 08:07

Firstly I would ditch the yogurt if he’s not eating it.
Could you try yogurt covered raisins - can appear like a sweet treat?
Mini cheddars/lentil chips etc?

ATwirlADay · 30/09/2022 08:07

Translating for the teacher: s/he means "He's being a pain, stealing other people's food – can you send him with a bit more?"

The teacher is not a dietician. Doubling the lunch in literal terms would simply make for an overweight child.

You don't say how big the sandwich is, but I would consider increasing its size and leave everything else the same. Beyond that, it's a behavioural issue not a hunger one. What you are sending should be plenty for a five year old.

Moonlight75 · 30/09/2022 08:08

Doesn’t seem he is having enough breakfast. Can you add eggs? Hot chocolate? If not just add and extra sandwich, smoothie?

Whiskers4 · 30/09/2022 08:10

I'd give him a bit more breakfast instead. Also, have a little chat about why he's taking food/why its not a good idea and how it would make him feel if someone took his food.

Most schools would be encouraging him to go outside after he'd eaten, soif it continues ask them to do that. Fresh air and exercise are important. Also its a very fast turnaround at lunchtimes - 75mins to include set up, put away, cleaning, serving, lack of space so needing children to eat quick so another one or two can take their space - I can't believe they don't encourage him outside.

Squashpocket · 30/09/2022 08:12

I'm starting to think the majority of people of MN are borderline eating disordered or have never had an active child going through a growth spurt. Both of my children (4 & 6) eat more than me and when they're growing they eat MUCH more than me. If the child isn't overweight and the school are saying he's still hungry, then feed him? Rather than withholding food on the basis that 'it seems like a lot for a 5 year old'.

Put an extra sandwich and cheese in, as these are filling and you know he'll eat them. If it comes back uneaten everyday he can't have been that starving. And if despite having lots of his own food he's still trying to take other kids food then you know you have a behavioural issue on your hands and you and the school should address it.

This seems really straight forward to me.

Misandre · 30/09/2022 08:14

"DS will take my food even if we're eating the same...'I don't eat around him much anymore. Always the same stress!"

This is your answer then, isn't it? If he nicks your food, presumably whether he's hungry or not(?), he's going to do the same with kids sat next to him. Say this to the teacher, swap the yoghurt he doesn't eat out for a pack of crisps, keep working with him on eating at the table without taking other people's food.

NotJustAnybody · 30/09/2022 08:15

Crikey, my teenage son has that amount. I'm really surprised that a SEN school doesn't recognise other issues could be at play here!
If he's a decent weight and he eats normally at home then stick to your guns. Maybe he eats quickly, compared to others and gets bored waiting.

MagnaQuestion · 30/09/2022 08:15

Squash I think you're right - we see it over and over again with these kind of threads. Unfortunately they attract the competitive undereaters/phobic of crisps type - which in turn can often lead to creating disordered eating in a child and the cycle continues...

Noteverybodylives · 30/09/2022 08:22

If your child is stealing food then there’s a good chance he is still hungry - so give him more food.

You say he’s athletic so of course he’s going to need more than a child who isn’t.

You sound like you may have issues with food yourself and it’s important you don’t push these issues into him.
It’s odd that you won’t give him a packet of crisp or chocolate bar, if his diet is otherwise good.

I would give him another half of a sandwich, a packet of crisps and some fruit.

If he’s still stealing other children’s food then there are obviously other issues but I couldn’t bare thinking my child was going hungry during the day.

Afterfire · 30/09/2022 08:22

Squashpocket · 30/09/2022 08:12

I'm starting to think the majority of people of MN are borderline eating disordered or have never had an active child going through a growth spurt. Both of my children (4 & 6) eat more than me and when they're growing they eat MUCH more than me. If the child isn't overweight and the school are saying he's still hungry, then feed him? Rather than withholding food on the basis that 'it seems like a lot for a 5 year old'.

Put an extra sandwich and cheese in, as these are filling and you know he'll eat them. If it comes back uneaten everyday he can't have been that starving. And if despite having lots of his own food he's still trying to take other kids food then you know you have a behavioural issue on your hands and you and the school should address it.

This seems really straight forward to me.

This.

And if it’s an issue of him wanting a sweet treat / crisps like the other kids for goodness sakes just let him have something like that? How miserable to sit surrounded by people with stuff like that day in day out and never have anything like that yourself.

caringcarer · 30/09/2022 08:27

Do you give him 2 slices of bread in his sandwich or just one slice so 1/2 sandwich? Does he have full size yoghurt or just a baby one? I'd give him more breakfast, one slice of toast will mean he goes in hungry. With his peanut toast offer an egg or chopped banana or at least 2 slices of peanut toast. Put an extra pepperoni stick and an extra half a sandwich in his lunch (1 slice of bread).

Noteverybodylives · 30/09/2022 08:27

It’s also really important that you sit and eat with him and teach him that it’s wrong to steal your food.

It’s really annoying when parents don’t bother doing the parenting at home and then expect us to do it at school.
But then moan when we suggest they do something (like give him a packet of crisps) that may help because it involves the parent having to do something.

x2boys · 30/09/2022 08:29

Whiskers4 · 30/09/2022 08:10

I'd give him a bit more breakfast instead. Also, have a little chat about why he's taking food/why its not a good idea and how it would make him feel if someone took his food.

Most schools would be encouraging him to go outside after he'd eaten, soif it continues ask them to do that. Fresh air and exercise are important. Also its a very fast turnaround at lunchtimes - 75mins to include set up, put away, cleaning, serving, lack of space so needing children to eat quick so another one or two can take their space - I can't believe they don't encourage him outside.

The child is non verbal with limited understanding I don't think having a little chat would help ,honestly I have a 12 year old with similar disabilities, it just sounds to me like the Op,s son is having a look at what other children are eating, and might prefer it to his own lunch.

Miajk · 30/09/2022 08:31

Just give him a fun food.

Popcorn? Pop chips? Jelly? There's a lot of compromise where you can give him something that's not chocolate or crisps.

Some mini cheddars or crackers. Naked bars are great as based on dates. New "treat" bars in mars, bounty and snickers flavours are now in supermarkets too, similar to naked bars. They even have the branding so it's like the proper thing.

Miajk · 30/09/2022 08:33

Also, restricting "fun foods" just means your child will forever put them on a pedestal and want them any chance they have to eat them.

This can lead to bingeing, overeating, a poor relationship with food overall which is a much worse health outcome than just practicing moderation/balance.