School want me to give DC double the amount of food for lunch?

[dreakdays]

DC is 5 and has...

A cheese and onion/egg mayo sandwich

A cheese

Small pot of olives (I put these in, about 4/5 olives)

A peperami

A yogurt

A little cake bar, such as a banana soreen bar

His teacher has requested I double this, as apparently he's finishing his lunch and trying to steal other Children's food!

For breakfast he has peanut butter on toast (he won't eat anything else like porridge etc)

I really don't think it's necessary to double his food. I'd give things like veg etc or fruit but he won't eat it. It just won't get eaten and if I try to send it amongst everything else, the school tell me not to send it in as he doesn't like it

This is a special needs school but I'm a bit annoyed at having to double up on lunches

I think he's just trying to explore more stuff and needs to just be told no here...

I would consider if it could be a sensory issue with him perhaps being ‘sensory seeking’ and wanting to just look at and touch other peoples’ food because it looks interesting and he wants to touch it/feel it.
If you think this might be it, you could send him in with a sensory toy/chewing toy etc for once he’s finished his lunch to keep him occupied and not touching other lunches.

I think a lot of people on here have missed the very key information that this is a specialist setting and we are talking about a young child with limited language and communication skills, who is dining in a group situation for the first time with other children with similar communication to him.

Issues surrounding food, often very complex ones, go hand in hand with autism which adds a whole new level of complication for a school setting.

Perhaps give him something different? Like a small pot of pretzels/popcorn/yoghurt covered raisins/dried banana chips and an orange to peel. That should make him too busy, to eat other children's lunches! Nice to give him something new to try too.

Mine used to come home and describe a yummy food item from a class mates lunch box. I'd try to find it, for the following weeks lunches. I suppose if your child is non verbal, they can't express this want, so find it easier to try and take others food. Is it worth asking the teacher to note what it is, he seems to want from the others? Perhaps you could buy it for him.

You're probably right that it's impulse control. At our sen school there are a number of children who will attempt to take food from others for various reasons - and hunger isn't generally one of them. Doubling your sons lunch isn't the answer as he will probably eat that and still attempt to grab food from others. I'm very suprised that a teacher advised that. Suggesting you add an extra item maybe, but doubling it? Children with additional needs need to have and understand boundaries too and I agree your ds needs repetition and reinforcing that we don't take food from others. He's still only very young, he will learn. Talk to staff and explain how you want them to go forward with this.

Also, restricting "fun foods" just means your child will forever put them on a pedestal and want them any chance they have to eat them.

This can lead to bingeing, overeating, a poor relationship with food overall which is a much worse health outcome than just practicing moderation/balance.

Exactly this!

A packet of crisp isn’t going to make him morbidly obese but restricted them will put him at risk of becoming obese when he’s older.

The child is the correct weight for height and active so he doesn’t need more food at all. What he needs is to learn not to take other peoples food.

why on Earth would you want to introduce “fun food” and recreational eating to keep him busy???? When is he stealing food? Is it after he’s finished? What would be a better thing for him to do at that point?

ideas: clear his place, a tabletop toy he could use out in a café, a trip to the toilet to wash hands and use it while quiet, help setting up for playtime getting out the equipment, reading his book, a “job” for the teacher… All very standard ways to fill time for faster eaters.

Oh ffs- so much faff about nothing. Try the following:

Extra lunch item like pasta/hummus+pitta/extra sandwich/potato bites, pastie, sausage roll, etc.

If you suspect he's wanting the sweet/junk stuff, add in healthy crisps (lentil crisps for example), chocolate covered peanuts/raisins, a yoghurt bar, etc.

This'll either result in him not stealing other children's food or not.

Just give the poor child amore and make everyone happy If he doesn’t eat it then you can say to the teacher you have tried it Working collaboratively with the teacher is worth much more than the price of a sandwich surely

If you give the “poor child” more food then surely he will put in weight if he’s normal weight now? If you teach him to eat to fill time then surely he is going to learn that behaviour? It’s so ridiculously short sighted.

My 4 year old would eat half a sandwich and be full
I think you need to put a limit on it
just because his teacher says he needs more food doesn’t mean he does

why on Earth would you want to introduce “fun food” and recreational eating to keep him busy????

Because mealtimes should be about more than just healthy food. It's not nice being the child that's sat there with a pot of olives and a loaf of Soreen while everyone else is allowed some crisps or a small chocolate bar.

Children don't like being excluded and deliberately making your child a lunchbox that will make them stand out from their peers isn't a very nice thing to do.

Have you told school that he takes your food even if you're eating the same? Have you also said he doesn't eat his yoghurt so he doesn't need more food?

I'd just send him with an extra sandwich for a few days and see if he eats it, if not just go back to how you were before. I doubt it's due to hunger but the teacher just wants to look like she's doing something as the dinner staff keep telling her about it I expect.

That’s plenty of food for a 5 year old. Weird of the teacher to suggest he needs more.
Is the teacher overweight?

What???

Have you also said he doesn't eat his yoghurt so he doesn't need more food?

Leaving the yoghurt doesn't mean he's not hungry though. Maybe he just doesn't want a warm yoghurt with his lunch 🤷🏻‍♀️

My parents used to send me in with fruit. But it got so battered in my lunchbox that I refused to eat it as the bruised texture made me gag. I was hungry, but not hungry enough to eat something that made me feel sick.

I'm surprised the teacher isn't more clued up on this. It's ridiculous to double the amount of food. Sounds to me like this is more to do with being in school setting for first time combined with SEN/wanting what another child has.

There also needs to be better supervision at lunchtime to stop children stealing each others food. I look after a 4 year old who keeps eating their own lunch and then proceeds to eat the whole lunch belonging to another child. This has happened several times now and there is no way the teaching staff are supervising properly for a whole second lunch to be eaten on more than one occasion.

Since starting reception DD (4.5) will eat Cheerios before going to breakfast club where she has rice crispies or toasts. Banana at break time. Then school dinners (feedback is that she "eats well"). When she gets home she'll eat a full plate of snacky/grazing food. Then evening meal with us. Before bed she will sometimes has Weetabix.

She is 50th percentile height and weight.

During the holidays are wouldn't eat anywhere near this much, and we were busy all summer.

OP, if he's hungry and not overweight, feed him more. If he's hungry and overweight feed him more healthily.

Do you give him the same lunch every day?
maybe it’s not the amount but the monotony and he wants to try other things too?

That's a lot of snack type foods for lunch. Why don't you invest in a thermal flask and make him pasta or soup with a piece of bread . Its more filling and the flask keeps it hot for hours. Then a banana or grapes or something like that.

It is obviously not enough for him if he is stealing other the children's food, either that or he is fed up with cheese sandwiches and thinks their lunch is more exciting. Whatever the reason you need to sort it.

Absolutely don’t follow any advice from a professional who knows your son in a specialist setting and has looked after lots of children and has significantly more experience than you do in terms of looking after children OP. You’d be MAD to follow that advice and not the advice of total MN randomers on the internet who eat half a grain of rice for lunch and are STUFFED!

White bread or seeded/grainery/brown.

The latter would be more filling if he'll eat it, especially as he has it for breakfast too.

Could you put some ham or chicken in a sandwich (although egg should be pretty filling).

Totally agree you shouldn't add more food... its plenty. And certainly not a nutrionless snack. No wonder we have an obesity problem... schools are supposed to help guide on this and they are instead opting for path of least resistance.

I also think you are right that he just wants the yummy looking things that others have. Push back.

My 3 year old eats enough at breakfast that if he didn't eat anything the rest of the day he'd still be okay. Think 2 or 3 weetabix or a massive bowl of porridge. So front end loading him might help?

What is he taking from others?

I think maybe you need to add something or swap something out so there is something else attractive for him in there?

Pom bears? Bag of popcorn? Flapjack?

Also - is it a whole round of sandwich or half?

Just saw the yoghurt is coming home every day. There is your answer. Swap it for a tasty treat he WANTS!

I'd be a bit fed up at work if everyone had a cake/something tasty every day and I had a yoghurt!

Even on school dinners they get a tasty dessert. My son tells me daily. Includes things like: carrot cake, cookie, rice crispy chocolate cake, brownie, ice cream etc.

If he's no where near over weight, I really don't see the problem.

That's enough food!