School want me to give DC double the amount of food for lunch?

[dreakdays]

DC is 5 and has...

A cheese and onion/egg mayo sandwich

A cheese

Small pot of olives (I put these in, about 4/5 olives)

A peperami

A yogurt

A little cake bar, such as a banana soreen bar

His teacher has requested I double this, as apparently he's finishing his lunch and trying to steal other Children's food!

For breakfast he has peanut butter on toast (he won't eat anything else like porridge etc)

I really don't think it's necessary to double his food. I'd give things like veg etc or fruit but he won't eat it. It just won't get eaten and if I try to send it amongst everything else, the school tell me not to send it in as he doesn't like it

This is a special needs school but I'm a bit annoyed at having to double up on lunches

I think he's just trying to explore more stuff and needs to just be told no here...

I’m going to refuse to read the f’ing thread because if they’re saying he is trying to steal other kids lunch then what the f are you questioning?!!!

I was asked by the teacher to give my 5 Yr old son less food as he was struggling to eat it. He had 4 small sandwiches, a yoghurt, some crisps, an apple and a biscuit. All kids are different.

I'm a retired special school teacher and I think the teachers response here is absolutely wrong.

The last thing a child with SEN needs is to become over weight. Getting a child or adult with special needs who's become overweight, to lose those extra pounds/stones is incredibly difficult. And yes, many children with additional needs are disregulated when it comes to appetite, so their every day diet needs to be satisfying but not way over the calories that they need.

What he's having at the moment is ample for a five year old, and I suspect that he either doesn't have the feeling of fullness, or that as you suggest, he's after the food that is more attractive to him.

The teacher is asking you to over feed him to make her job easier. And that's not on. Ultimately it will make your job as a parent much harder.

As I've said above, she's right to doubt the teacher. I've been that teacher and I would never ask a parent to double the perfectly normal amount of food for one of my pupils. I'd Institute a behaviour programme for him around lunchtime, which would include looking at seating, and providing an activity which distracts him at the table when he's finished his own food.

This is a common problem with children in special schools (as is under eating). The teacher should be looking at strategies that will not threaten his health and body weight.

I work in an sen school. Lunches are provided for all children who want them but many bring a packed lunch as well. They will be offered the main meal first then when we know they’ve had enough or won’t eat it they can be offered their packed lunch. Many of the children do just grab food off other children’s’ plates and not necessarily because their hungry - it’s often discarded later. The early years class do a lot of food exploration as part of their continuous provision though. Some children seem to graze all day on little bits they’ve picked up from sensory trays.

Does his school make sure they have a morning snack. Some classes take the children out shopping to choose snacks to keep in school. Some collect fruit from the canteen. Others have children who have their own snacks in their bags.

Maybe you do need to read the thread the child is at a special school and has significant disabilities,
Ime children with such disabilities dont have the cognition to understand they are not hungry, they just see another child has a packet of crisps and think hey they look nice I'm going to take them because they look better than what I have and you can't always predict what a child with such disabilities will like on a given day, one day my son ate two meat pies at his special school so staff thought let's order that again which to be fair I do too the next time he had it he didn't eat a thing 🤷‍♀️
They gave him his Xmas dinner last year and all he ate was a pile of sprouts.

My son goes to a specialist school and is 5 (6 tomorrow) and I pack 1 buttered sandwich and he doesn’t eat any filling. I apple, 2 peach, 1 packet wotsits, 1 kinder chocolate and 1 strawberry jelly and 1 banana. He demolishes the lot. At that age they can sometimes eat just as much as an adult when on a growth spurt. I would try him a couple of days will more food and see what comes back and then pack accordingly.

Errrrr, then it’s not solely an is it an enough amount of food kind of question, then Is it!!

Well exactly. Which is the opposite of what you said initially.

OP is questioning the teacher BECAUSE it's not an 'enough food' question. It's a combination of disregulation of appetite and behavioral issues.

So yep, read the thread before posting in future so that you don't look like an idiot.

Exactly. The only children I've taught with Prader Willi were diagnosed within weeks of birth, and at the age I taught them (5-7 years old) were not over eating and were skinny little kids.

Because the issue might not be that he wants/ needs more food. He may just like the colour or shape or small of someone else’s lunch! That’s a lot of good gif a 5yr old, esp as the sandwich is 2pieces of bread. He doesn’t need any more than that. Also as it’s a SEN school - does he know when to stop? It’s up to the teacher to supervise that they all eat their own lunch and nobody else’s. You’re providing a good balanced lunch. Don’t add any more, it would be too much.

Op I think you are right- the teachers need to be more insistent he doesn’t take other kids stuff.
The monster munch was the clue it’s about the treats rather than proper food. I think the lunch you give sounds right. You will know if he is having a growth spurt- trust me and trust yourself. I think you also know your son well enough and can decide what if anything you may need to ‘tweak’ .
Its nice he wants to explore rather than refuse - but obviously good habits at this age really so limits to sugary stuff and crisps.

OP I’ve read your responses and can see you are trying to give him a healthy lunch, but honestly if he’s so desperate for crisps/chocolate/cake then let him have that in his lunchbox.

No doubt school is overwhelming for him, particularly lunch times, having some treats can be a way of helping to calm down and regulate.

You can always stick to healthier meals/snacks at home.

Also avoiding eating with him at home isn’t going to help him learn not to snatch other peoples food, try to eat with him once a day so you can both try different strategies.

Definitely discuss your concerns with the school, I’m sure being a SEN school they will be able to advise further or put in place more support if needed eg a social story for how everyone only eats what’s in their own lunch box.

You don't say what kind of special needs your child has or what kind of support that you have. My suggestion would be to talk to whoever does offer support or someone in a support network who has experience in this type of condition. Alternatively, a dietician or nutritionist both of whom will have had training in this field. A greater range of lunches may help but if your son refuses to eat other types of food in his lunch box but wants to try them then this could be why he snatches other food. Do bear in mind that ordinary children can be difficult too.

What about adding something else that's filling? Pita pocket, wrap, pasta, rice etc? He may be small but might have a fast metabolism.

If school are noticing he is wanting more just give him more. If doubling it helps the situation then you all win. It also gives him the option to eat more if he wants to & even if he doesn’t eat more it might keep him occupied enough that he leaves other kids food alone.
To be honest that does seem quite a small lunch for a 5yr old because the 5yr olds I know would eat almost that amount as a snack 😂

My child’s packed lunches usually consist of:

2 pieces of lightly buttered bread, a bagel or sandwich thins with ham/chicken, cheese & lettuce,
10 halved strawberries,
10 Raspberries,
1/2 a mango,
Banana,
Mini cucumber,
Chopped cheddar cheese,
Bag of pretzels, crisps, mini breadsticks or mini cheddars,
Probiotic yogurt drink,
Frube yogurt,
Bear fruit roll, Kiddylicious fruit wafers, soreen or Bear Paw fruit snacks,
Choc mini roll, kinder bar, mini cookies or mini animal biscuits for her surprise treat.

If she didn’t fancy a sandwich I’d give her crackers, cheese, ham, pepperoni & a mini Nutella tub.
She doesn’t usually eat it all at lunch time but it gives her plenty to choose from.
Anything she doesn’t finish at school she usually eats in car in way home or when we get home, as an after school snack.

Are you having a laugh?

Is he drinking enough water? We can sometimes confuse thirst with hunger.

I think what you give him is plenty and agree with a few others that he maybe exploring other little one's lunches?

Could you try a piece of fruit and or celery, carrot or cucumber sticks?

Exactly.
And let the boy have some crisps or "treat" bar.the way peopletalk on here your setting your kids up to some disordered thoughts on foods.any wonder why half the world is on diets or unhappy with their image.
Food is food.sugar won't kill him and neither will some monster munch.

If he steals the other DC’s crisps then why not give your ds crisps? You could substitute this for the cheese, pepperoni and olives? Why won’t he eat fruit or veg? Could you replace the yoghurt with a smoothie? His lunch sounds very salty.

Does the sandwich consist of 2 slices of normal sized bread? Does he have a snack at playtime? How large is his breakfast and what does he eat once he’s back home? Maybe he needs more food at home so he’s compensating at school?

What you give your child is already quite a lot. Tell them to just tell him no

I’m another in the camp of too much salt. Especially if he has to be prompted to drink. Ditch the olives at least, they’re very salty and not filling. Give him a carton of juice, perhaps. They can seem more appealing than water or squash.

My SND had a problem re another pupil taking her food. She needs a high cal diet as she has a problem retaining weight. The other SNP regularly took food from other children due to a metabolic disorder which they never feel full. They are prone to obesity so need to be supervised by staff. Giving the child extra food is NOT the answer, staff supervision is the answer. The 5 yo needs to learn not to take others things, that's the bottom line whether they're SN or not. The best advise I was ever given in 37 years was to treat my daughter as I would her sibling and that included teaching right from wrong.

Some cold pizza, cut into fingers or small squares? Graham crackers with cream cheese and jam?

Just give the lad a bag of crisps. Honestly, remove the olives and the peperami and give him some monster munch. It's really as simple as that.