Partner due to inherit 8-9 figures

[ticklety]

I am not married, but we have been dating a few years and are in our late 20s and it will happen one day. He is kind, caring, and we have the same vision for the future. Neither are ready to settle but we would love a couple of children one day.

His family live very middle class lifestyle in a foreign country, and we live very below average and struggle with money.

DP has just found out that his family are ridiculously rich. He is not surprised that there is a lot of money but he is surprised by the amount. They are mid to high 9 figures rich and a chunk of this (8-9 figures) will one day come to him.

His mum gets told off by his dad for spending money, and the whole family has the attitude that every penny must be saved for the future.

The problem is that although I am a super saver myself, I also believe money is there to be enjoyed and you can save and enjoy it at the same time.

My partner said that when he inherits this money he will keep it away and invest it so his children can inherit it. He doesn't want to spend a penny of it because he says it's not his money.

Even if we lived off half the interest generated we could live a very decent life. Or even just paid ourself a salary of £30k each from the money a year.

If I inherited this money (which I appreciate it's not my inheritance) I would make sure my partner and children lived a full and happy life. I would live well well below my means but never look at the price of the menu at pizza express any more.

This money can transform our lives, but it's not going to. If we get married would I get any say or would it always be his to decide as it comes from his family?

Should I just mind my own business?

Never, ever imagine a life in which your happiness and comfort is based on someone else's income. If you want money, make your own. Of course it would be good to have some say in the matter. But there's no guarantee of that. And fighting about money is one of the biggest reasons for relationship discord.

Never count on money until you have it. You’re currently not married, and if it passes to him you have no claim on it as it stands. That said, if you do marry, do not be surprised if he wants a prenup.

As it is, I don’t disagree with you. My husband and I manage our assets in a way that means they’re secure, but we also allow ourselves to live well, so there there is room for compromise. Although I do acknowledge the difference here is they’re our assets, whereas in your case they’re solely his. He may not want to compromise, and it is ultimately his decision, but as his partner I think he should be open to hearing what you have to say and value your opinion. The money could be invested in a high interest savings account or trust, enabling you to live quite well just off the interest. The family will have their own wealth management team advising them in regards to the money, but that option may be worth mentioning.

So is it the Grandfather or the Father that owns the business because you keep changing it??

Crock of 💩

I'm sorry but your post sounds a bit gold diggerish.

Yes, quite. It's very crass, OP. You're assuming deaths and marriages and decisions that haven't happened yet. If you loved him, none of this would matter.

Don't have theoretical arguments.
If/when it happens, suggest he has expert financial advice to make the most of it.
Meanwhile carry on saving and being independent.

Could be both at this point. Originally the father’s, until his son was an adult and had shares transferred to him.

Sadly this is an all too common scenario. What would Eliza Bennet do??

He is not your husband. You have zero claim on the money. If he has any brain he will get a proper ring fence around his inheritance so it won't be your problem to solve even if you do get married.

S ok your partner has recently discovered his grandfather is close to a billionaire and he had no idea.

he is going to inherit tens of not hundreds of millions of pounds and he will not spend it.

if all this is true then you will spend you married life arguing over money.

mary him but don’t sing a prenup! You will get a big whack of money and you can spend i your children as you see fit.

Not read the whole thread, but why so much focus on your partners money or possible money and so little focus on your partner as a person?

Do you know, alongside the cost of living board do you think we could have a 'rich people's problems' board so we don't have to keep being faced with this kind of thing over the winter ahead?

It is your business to a certain extent but only as far as it is for you to decide whether you can stay in a relationship where your DP /future dh may have loads of money and decide not to share it. For you to decide if you could live with such a person. You don't have any say in his inheritance and as you've rightly pointed out neither does he atm. So now you need to decide whether you want to stay in such relationship or not, but you can't make any claims or decisions on his future inheritance. Find your own money. You are in your late 20s you say. Time is on your side for you both to be economically independent, and find your own fortunes without waiting for some old man to die for you both to live comfortably. Have more faith in yourselves.

What would Eliza Bennet do??
Turn down his proposal of marriage until she was sure he truly loved her.

Maybe he's testing you and wants to make sure you're not going to go crazy with his inheritance.

There are too many ifs in all this. Live your life and if you get any bonuses that's great but I certainly wouldn't count on it.

Aye

So he will inherit 100 million and take his kids to Butlins?

Absolute bullshit.
He will not do that.

So what if one day the bailiff is knocking on your door to reposes your house/turn your power off/ take the car? Don’t say it won’t happen, it could happen to anyone.
would he use the money then?
IMO you have very different views about money. Neither of you is right/wrong, just different .
I would not marry this man. Forget sex is the deal breaker in a marriage, different opinions on money is the killer in a marriage.

He's not 'due to inherit' anything. Nobody has died yet. It's nice you're waiting for that death, and planning what fun you can have as a result of it, though

Wow. You aren't married. You aren't entitled to any of it.

If this was my partner and he had that money and we had kids etc then I absolutely would resent it sitting there when we could be giving our kids an amazing life.

Honestly, I would bring it up with him again, to air your views which are perfectly reasonable in my opinion..

So your boyfriend is going to inherit a fortune, but it’s not going to make any difference to how you live. Does he have any bridges for sale?

My best friend and her husband are Chinese and saving for the future generations is very much their m.o. They are both professional and their children’s future medical careers are being decided (with the kid’s approval) on earning potential rather than job satisfaction. Their kids have always worn hand me downs from friends and they will take connecting flights rather than fly direct regardless of inconvenience, timings etc to save money, even though they could easily afford otherwise. It is like it’s in their DNA in the nicest way possible. However they are lovely, generous and kind people, it is just the way they are wired. Not flash or showy, it’s all about value for money.

I used to work for a Chinese owned company and wherever the owner (worth millions if not billions) travelled internationally they would only stay in a Holiday Inn, it was where they were comfortable.

On saying all of that you would need to be on the same page as your partner about what he would consider spending money on eg a big enough house that any kids could have their own room or pay for private school if appropriate, not necessarily diamonds or turning left on a plane!

I am not sure about this thread... Millions and millions, not being married. Taking out £30k every year. It all sounds like rubbish to me. You dont know what is in the will and from personal experience within my family dont presume that you are 100% sure what people have done in their wills. They MIGHT indicate they have done something but once they have passed its funny how that isnt what is written down.

My best friend was told by her DM that her will left her estate to all three of her children. Fine, but when she passed it wasnt in equal shares. Massively in one child's favour. They didnt know either btw. What was she thinking? Who knows!

He’s having you on. Plus, even if he’s not having you on, who has an 8-9 figure fortune and pays themselves £30k a year?! Even £30k a month would barely make a dent FFS 😆