Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do children make you have a happier life?

197 replies

Sewingsusan · 22/09/2022 13:45

just that really. Love mine to bits and they’ve given me great sense of happiness and contentment.
what do others think?

OP posts:
RiverSkater · 22/09/2022 15:11

My children give me so much joy, I'm blessed.

nancydroo · 22/09/2022 15:12

TeenDivided · 22/09/2022 13:52

The highs are higher, but the lows are lower.

Agreed

kikisparks · 22/09/2022 15:15

Yes- in part because she’s amazing but also I was very unhappy going through 4 years of infertility. She’s 11 months. I think I would be less happy if I had a second.

Cameleongirl · 22/09/2022 15:15

Fishandchipsupper · 22/09/2022 15:10

My DC are grown up now and they make me very happy and proud. I’ve enjoyed the journey to get here, and now they are adults it feels like I’m child free again but with two wonderful people in my life as well.

It's wonderful when they're older, isn't it, @Fishandchipsupper

DD (17) is such an interesting person, she's hoping to go to university next year, but she's already got one foot out of the door, tbh. 😂

BigFatLiar · 22/09/2022 15:16

Overall yes, some stressful times but lots of amazing times.

They're married now and we get the grand children for visits, love them to bits.

Rodion · 22/09/2022 15:20

Some very happy individual moments but overall life is tougher and less happy as a parent than not, at least at the stage I'm at. I find it hard going. But children do bring a profound sense of meaning and fulfillment (when I'm not at the end of my rope!) which I feel is deeper and less transient that happiness. It's a odd thing.

Kenwouldmixitup · 22/09/2022 15:22

Children 100%

Teenagers - I’m still recovering. My marriage didn’t.

mydogisthebest · 22/09/2022 15:23

No, I definitely don't think so.

Me and DH chose to be childfree and are very happy and have been for the 42 years we have been married.

Amongst our friends and family the happiest ones are definitely the childfree ones. Most of the ones with children are divorced, some more than once whereas all the childfree ones are still married (first marriage) and seem happy.

Lots of our friends and family say they love their children but if they could go back in time they would not have any. That does not scream happiness does it?

I am talking people who have grown up children and, in most cases, grandchildren.

Breezycheesetrees · 22/09/2022 15:24

Oh god yes. They fill me with joy. I never knew happiness or love like it before. That's not to say I never feel knackered, stressed, irritated etc. But I've never even once questioned whether I'd be happier without them.

Janie94 · 22/09/2022 15:26

For me my son makes me feel complete and I am so glad I am a mum.

However... he is 2.5 and to be honest bugs the hell out of me most days, I can't handle the constant energy he requires and the whinging and fight he puts up just because I want to get him dressed or change his nappy.

I am really hoping he's better after his 3rd birthday!

Janie94 · 22/09/2022 15:27

Rodion · 22/09/2022 15:20

Some very happy individual moments but overall life is tougher and less happy as a parent than not, at least at the stage I'm at. I find it hard going. But children do bring a profound sense of meaning and fulfillment (when I'm not at the end of my rope!) which I feel is deeper and less transient that happiness. It's a odd thing.

This!

DreamingofItaly2023 · 22/09/2022 15:29

100%

he is 6

He is my joy and my life

DarkShade · 22/09/2022 15:30

Yes and no. I love DS more than anything in the world and being with him makes me extremely happy. I am happiest in the moments that I spend with him than almost any moment in my pre-child life. Don't get me wrong, I was happy in my life before him. But he makes me so happy that most of the happiest pre-DC memories pale in comparison to even mundane times with DC.

But the rest of my life is so much worse since having him. The things that used to make me happy - job that I loved and was succeeding at, saving for a house, romantic relationship - have all gone up in flames as a direct result of having DS, and I spend most of the time that I am not with DS in misery. I am less content in my life overall, without a doubt. Before I loved all of my life. Now DS is the only thing in my life that brings me any joy.

So it's hard to say. Individual moments are happier, but my life as a whole is more miserable.

Heatherbell1978 · 22/09/2022 15:38

Love mine to bits (5 and 7) and wouldn't change a thing but was less stressed and less 'aged' before having them. It's a different kind of happy I'd say. I miss my freedoms and spontaneity but I did want children and feel grateful. Different things make me happy now.

Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 22/09/2022 15:39

Yes definitely! A 5yo, 2yo and baby. I feel really lucky to have them and very happy indeed ☺️

sweetpeapea · 22/09/2022 15:41

Yes I am so so happy to be a mum. Is my life 1000 x more difficult. Absolutely, but I cannot ever imagine not being a mum.

TooHotToTangoToo · 22/09/2022 15:43

Ages 0 to 6 - no

Ages 6 to 12 - no

Ages 12 onwards - absolutely yes

Motnight · 22/09/2022 15:45

For me, currently yes. Between the ages of 14 and 20 though, no. It was hard.

Playplayaway · 22/09/2022 15:48

When they were small - Yes. That feeling when you see them after a long day and the make you feel like the most adored person on the planet 🥰

Teenagers - I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It sucks and it's relentless waiting for the next drama or issue.

If humans gave birth to babies that acted like teens we'd have been extinct long ago.

witchesbubblebath · 22/09/2022 16:06

It really depends. I think people that are already mentally well balanced can find a source of enjoyment in children, but of people have a child to fill a void of unhappiness or to make them feel more loved/wanted are not only cruel but mistaken also because only the person themselves can do that. The same goes for relationships. That's a reason I don't have a child.

Lndnmummy · 22/09/2022 16:08

For me having children have been incredibly healing in way I never realised. I had a complicated relationship with my mum and having my own children has helped me heal the little girl who never got the love she deserved. Seeing my children so confident, content, so secure in their home, just knowing how loved and protected they are has been the greatest thing I habe ever experienced. Their contentment (not sure thats a word) completes me.

notalwaysalondoner · 22/09/2022 16:10

For me, 100%. I have been happier the last year since I had DS since I ever remember being. It is endlessly rewarding.

I think the thing that makes it so wonderful is that every day, many times a day, there are moments of pure unadulterated joy. As an adult, before I had a child, those moments were extremely rare for me - I love my DH and have strong friends and family relationships, but those moments when he is giving a belly laugh or doing something for the first time, the way I feel, I only felt rarely (maybe once a month or so) in my pre-child life. I feel like I spent a lot of time trying to find joy in the everyday things like a nice coffee or a hot bath, which of course I enjoy, but they just aren't the same at all as the joy a child has brought me.

They are exhausting, relentless and expensive, but the best thing I have ever done.

Anothernc1 · 22/09/2022 16:19

Personally, no. I've been fantasising about walking out or dying since baby was born 3 years ago.
If I could go back in time, I'd stop myself getting pregnant.
I'm never going to be happy again.

Pyewhacket · 22/09/2022 16:30

I was married at 22 and had no thought about having children in fact I’d have been just as happy if I had been child free. Love them as I do my medical career was just as important.

Sniffypete · 22/09/2022 16:32

When mine was a toddler, yes. Now they are a teen, definitely not!