Food bank Fussiness

[VeronicaFranklin]

I volunteer at a local food bank on a Saturday morning, recently due to cost of living we've had more and more people using it.

All sorts of people, some working families, some exclusively on benefits, some elderly, retired due to ill health and some homeless / alcohol/ drug addiction. There really is no face to food poverty and it's very sad to see so many people struggling to feed themselves and their families. I feel glad there are places people can turn to if they need help...

However...

We give people a sheet when they arrive, they tick a number of items (depending on if they are a family/couple/single person) they wish to have, I go off to pack up their items.

More recently I've had people complain if they wanted something we had a previous week but don't have this week, i.e. requesting Frosties and we only have Cornflakes, or Semi skimmed milk but we only have skimmed. One lady said to me on Sat when I didn't have the soup she liked ' well it just isn't good enough'...

Also people arguing with us if say someone has received a certain brand (donated) and they haven't. For example someone got 'Asda's own washing up liquid and saw someone had got 'Fairy' brand washing up liquid and started complaining it wasn't fair...

I just feel really disappointed. Everyone is entitled to help and most people are very thankful but we rely solely on donations and charity surplus to run the food bank, many of the volunteers give up their time to help even when their circumstances aren't much better than those using the food bank and we often buy items to bring to cover the shortfall in donations especially toiletries such as sanitary towels and toothpaste, but I can't help feeling recently like people are being ungrateful.

Is it unreasonable if you're getting something for free to feel you're entitled to complain? How would you handle it?

Can you put up some kindness posters?
or some to ‘remember to thank the volunteers!’

People will always be like this with free stuff,and some people definitely do see foodbanks as freebies rather than support. I think you just have to have an attitude of not expecting people express gratitude, and then both enjoy the times people are overtly grateful, and feel satisfied in your contribution to the community at the times people are neutral.

Ever been in hospital and seen someone kicking up a fuss that they should have more nurse attention than other equally needy patients? They just do it because sometimes it works and the complaining pays off.

Your making a real important difference to people's lives around you, ignore the people who's hobby is moaning.

Maybe a poster stating as cost of living crisis grows there are less donations so please be happy with what we give you.

Squeaky wheel gets the grease. I suppose this is why it's easier for foodbank to recieve cash donations as then they will have uniform supplies. Some posters with house rules as suggested by PP a good idea.

That's a good idea - thanks!

This is true, I work at the hospital and see this daily!

I think it is ok to complain tbh. Having to resort to a food bank can make some feel embarrassed and ashamed. They might be used to their own food comforts but are suddenly finding that "beggars can't be choosers".

I do something similar two days a week and occasionally we all have to remind ourselves not to judge any of our service users. We give food with no questions, no expectations of anything in return and no judgment but, sometimes, it's hard not to have a little judge 😂😂. We can't offer what we offer and then want to try and vet people.

One of our service users rubs everyone up the wrong way, she is very rude, she lies, she's greedy and she never says thank you to anyone but we all make a big effort to be extra nice and helpful,to her as we suspect she is probably more in need of compassion and help than many of our 'nice' service users.
I think it's impossible not to have a little judge now and then but you need to keep it to yourself.

"We can only give you what we have been given. Please remember that all goods are donated and not bought. Thank you"

I don't think it is acceptable at all to complain.

I don't know why but society in general has an air of entitlement.

Im not of the war generation but honestly it embarrasses me that people think this ok.

Lots hate change, embarrassing to see them behave this way, just remind them it’s donated.
why they can’t choose exactly what they get

I volunteer with a soup kitchen type thing. A while ago I got shouted at because we didn’t have any socks to give out that evening.

On one hand I wanted to shout back that I was a volunteer and he could be grateful, but I just had to take a deep breath and remind myself that at leas I had a home and warm, dry feet.

Charity service users are just like any other people. Some are nice and some are dicks. And we don’t volunteer for them to fall of themselves kicking out boots.

Which food bank do you work at, @VeronicaFranklin? Do the other volunteers on a Saturday morning feel the same?

I used to volunteer and we would get complaints about stuff and people asking us to do things beyond our opening hours. We did occasionally have to remind people that we were volunteers, had no control over what was donated or the condition items were in (some people seemed to just give us their dirty laundry- we would clean what we could and not put on sale the irredeemable). Some people always want more and would blame us if what they needed wasn't available.

“It’s all donated, we get what we get. If you specifically want Fairy, you’ll need to go to <insert name of nearest shop>”

I wouldn’t put up with any nonsense from people getting free stuff because I know I wouldn’t dish out nonsense if I were a fortunate recipient.

It’s incredible to me that it’s within your code of conduct as a volunteer to make posts like this.

Do people like you think, even for a moment, of the impact of their words? Buying into lazy narratives about the people who use food banks serves only one purpose: to discourage donation.

I also work in a hospital. When people are demanding or difficult, it is usually because they are sick, frightened or under significant stress. I’m surprised that hasn’t been your experience.

Please try and find some empathy and think carefully before you write this way about people coming to you for help. An easy test for suitability when posting on social media for those of us who work with vulnerable people - as of course even when de-identified, one needs to be ethical - is: would I be comfortable with the person I’m referring to reading this, and would I be comfortable with the organisation I’m working with reading this?

I volunteer at a similar service and the woman who runs it (a slightly softer version of Miss Trunchbull) does not stand for anything like this. When someone complains to me I tell them to take their complaint to her. They rarely dare.

I work in social housing. And yes, there are moaners. But my philosophy is that I'm not Lady Bountiful and people don't have to be grateful for things that they should receive in any decent democracy. The fact that people have to beg for food and housing is repulsive and I admire people who keep their fight, even if it's directed in the wrong direction.

I like Fairy Liquid. And I'd prefer it even if I lost my job.

I find being on their 'side' makes me happier and them easier to deal with. And ironically, more grateful actually. "I wish everyone could have Fairy, it is shit, sorry".

Regardless of whether it’s free or not, there are always complainers in the world. When I go shopping if my preferred brand is out of stock I would just buy another. But there are some people who would be looking for a manager to tell them ‘it’s not good enough’. The local fb page has its resident moaners who demand the council fix everything, even if it’s nothing to do with the council.

Posters sound like an excellent idea.

I see your posts all the time @MrsTerryPratchett and I am a little bit in love with you 💞💞💞

Also the lovely Mr Pratchet, who I miss terribly. (Obviously I know you aren't the real Mrs Pratchet, but I get your vibe)

Or are you??

Definitely not! She is much lovelier than me by all accounts. And DH is definitely not as talented!

You’re freaking joking right? Because they are ashamed means they should be rude to people who are volunteering their time to help them? That’s how far we’ve fallen as a society?

Those who think the world owes them a living and cannot find the motivation to go out and earn one, may also feel entitled to special privileges at the food bank.

There are many genuine cases, indeed, but there are also a lot of chancers.