Food bank Fussiness

[VeronicaFranklin]

I volunteer at a local food bank on a Saturday morning, recently due to cost of living we've had more and more people using it.

All sorts of people, some working families, some exclusively on benefits, some elderly, retired due to ill health and some homeless / alcohol/ drug addiction. There really is no face to food poverty and it's very sad to see so many people struggling to feed themselves and their families. I feel glad there are places people can turn to if they need help...

However...

We give people a sheet when they arrive, they tick a number of items (depending on if they are a family/couple/single person) they wish to have, I go off to pack up their items.

More recently I've had people complain if they wanted something we had a previous week but don't have this week, i.e. requesting Frosties and we only have Cornflakes, or Semi skimmed milk but we only have skimmed. One lady said to me on Sat when I didn't have the soup she liked ' well it just isn't good enough'...

Also people arguing with us if say someone has received a certain brand (donated) and they haven't. For example someone got 'Asda's own washing up liquid and saw someone had got 'Fairy' brand washing up liquid and started complaining it wasn't fair...

I just feel really disappointed. Everyone is entitled to help and most people are very thankful but we rely solely on donations and charity surplus to run the food bank, many of the volunteers give up their time to help even when their circumstances aren't much better than those using the food bank and we often buy items to bring to cover the shortfall in donations especially toiletries such as sanitary towels and toothpaste, but I can't help feeling recently like people are being ungrateful.

Is it unreasonable if you're getting something for free to feel you're entitled to complain? How would you handle it?

I worry that posts like this can result in fewer donations.

Perhaps. Last thing I’d want is to make someone upset because I can’t afford to donate Fairy liquid or Frosties, but then I think that someone out there will be able to happily make use of the non-branded products and I may have made a positive difference for them. So, I hope people don’t feel put off donating.

No, it's fine. It's great, actually. Keep donating if you are able to.

come on people
i cannot believe this post would put you off donating?
please dont be put off by one posters alleged experience

And this sort of passive-aggressive sarcastic response is exactly the kind of thing that a post like the OP encourages. It does nothing to help the people in need, it makes people feel judgemental towards them, and it will ultimately stop people donating.

I always suspect people who say they’re not going to donate because of things like this never did so in the first place.

Very insightful post.

Thank you for this, it's good to be reminded of what service really means and how to provide it with grace.

seriously? How utterly patronising would that be, to use passive aggressive hints that they should be grateful.

Just say normally that you don't have it, yeah it's a bit shit but this is the brand available, leave the things that you don't want here. Not patronising "kindness" like you'd speak to children trying to teach them a lesson or something!

MrsLargeEmbodied, I work for a debt charity. We do benefit checks all the time to make sure people are applying for everything they're entitled to.

OP, I know what you mean - most of the people I deal with are worried, scared and usually panicked about their situation, so we would expect some anger, sometimes directed at the people trying to help.

Most are lovely to deal with, appreciative of the time and effort put into helping them sort their financial issues, but very occasionally I come across someone whose sense of entitlement is off the scale. There are noxious people everywhere.

OP put me right off donating but then I thought about it a little. If your kids love frosties and you see someone else get them while you get cornflakes for the 4th week in a row I can see why you might want to switch it up a bit. I guess the problem is as cost of living is going up people can't afford to donate the fancy stuff. I donate whatever is cheapest in my little local shop at the time but for September I decided to pick the fancy cereal that was on offer as kids are going back to school. It must be incredibly difficult living off other people and have no choice in your food even if you know it's your only option.

I’m not surprised but amazed. Someone else’s kindness means that you can have the basics

It pisses me off that people on here think service users are allowed to be arseholes and should be given understanding and empathy but the volunteers have to be perfect saints, not even allowed to vent anonymously - where's the empathy and understanding for them and what they are doing?

Someone always has to write a fucking poem. 🙄

I work with vulnerable families and I agree with this.

This is why I don't donate to food banks.

@Notonyerwelly
We think it is acceptable to spend millions on one deceased OAP's funeral and her pampered son's bloody coronation while people have to go and beg for a few tins and cereal packets that have been donated ,in order to top up their low wages , disability benefits , child tax credits or late universal credit . We should be very ashamed that we think that is acceptable in our country because it is a disgrace.

I agree with the above. The values of the country as a whole and of the current government in particular, are completely skew-whiff.

Try to separate yourself from the job and don’t take it personal, don’t worry expect gratitude from everyone; there is going to be some rude people, but you don’t know what is going through their lives and why they take their frustrations in other people.

kinders posters should also help

I have bagged up many a food parcel and all donated so no choice on brand. I remember as I put in the tins of meat and fish how much I hate pilchards, if really hungry I would eat them but every time I put a tin in a bag I used to hope people did not hate them as much as me.

People could obviously let us know if they had allergies, I’m allergic to almost all perfume and perfumed products so I probably wouldn’t be able to take any of the washing up liquids.

@PizzaFunghi Trussell Trust have three referrals in a rolling year with a. Voucher from an official agency such as social services or a Doctor's surgery but they can also give out emergency food at their discretion so that’s a case of who is in charge and thru call. But there are many food banks that give out food that are not part of this charity franchise and have their own rules and regulations. About 15 years ago I was a member of a regional food network that’s aim was information sharing to help alleviate food hunger so met many people who ran independent food banks. There are two food banks in my town TT and an independent one who gives out food and clothes zero questions asked with no referral. The guy that runs the independent one is an absolute inspiration.

Another charity volunteer here - people in need occasionally have social skills that make them look pretty unattractive.

It’s part of the giving deal. You’d expect adequate behaviour from recipients but like any other group there’s always one.

Virtue signalling posters saying everyone in need is perfect is as rude and ungrateful to the volunteers as the whiny recipients are, incidentally.

In my time I have secretly thought the ratio of rude: standard responses from is a touch higher with the needy. That’s probably cos some have clicked that rude can work.

A few people in need just are pretty bad at daily life, including daily getting on with others.

Chaotics and addicts aren’t known for their courtesy. One of the descriptors of chaotic people is that they don’t take responsibility and feel very entitled. Before anyone on MN feels outraged, ask yourself how well that’s working out for them.

Manage it with politeness posters and send a different volunteer out every time. Don’t let it get to you.

I volunteer with a charity that helps people with a clothing. They are in a traumatic situation, often arriving with only the clothes on their back.

Often they will give us a very long list of things they want, or start specifying particular colours etc, neither of which we can meet.
Depending on what we pick up from their state of mind, we use gentle humour to put across the practicalities of our situation 'hey, we're not Marks and Spencers!' Or are lightly empathetic ' if only we had funds for that, we'd love to get you something special' or we simply say 'I'm so sorry, we'll do our best but our stocks are limited'.

Trauma and anxiety does odd things to people. Those in this thread saying 'well I'd just be grateful and appreciative in their situation' really don't know how, or even who they'd be if they were. It's something that can only be said from a position of privilege.

I wonder if it’s a defence mechanism. It feels less like accepting charity if you act more like a customer?

Thank you this is very insightful. It must be very tricky to no longer have everything you are used to in life

I suspect a lot of food bank users are not in need they simply cannot budget or want the expensive branded stuff that even I don't buy. If you work in a part time or minimum wage job then you need the minimum lifestyle. Of course the left loves a narrative that food bank use is increasing and it is the evil Tories fault however the reality is more complicated than that.

I suspect a lot of food bank users are not in need they simply cannot budget or want the expensive branded stuff that even I don't buy. If you work in a part time or minimum wage job then you need the minimum lifestyle. Of course the left loves a narrative that food bank use is increasing and it is the evil Tories fault however the reality is more complicated than that.

Just thinking about the five new visitors we had last week -

3x wait for UC / UC cock up
1 new refugee arrival
1 sofa surfing, new to area

(And I’m not a Labour supporter!)

There is both abuse and inability in the system, but there’s also a lot of need.

Some people have always been bad at budgeting but if the use of food banks has definitely exploded over the last decade or so and I don't think it's any coincidence. It breaks my heart that there are so many of them, I first heard of them when I lived in America and never thought the day would come when they'd be a common thing here. I am so sorry that they are a thing.

As PPs suggested, posters reminding service users that staff are unpaid volunteers and have little control over 'stock' may be helpful and for anyone who is spoken rudely to, to either ignore it...or if you really want to address it to communicate that to the service users in a calm, friendly but assertive tone.

I do understand the frustration at people being rude to volunteers, and the irony is some of the people using the foodbank vote Tory and are avid supporters of the RF but they reserve the sharp words for those volunteering to help them have food. So I don't think it's that simple to say the OP should just get over it.

As a society we need to reflect on our deference to those in power, and our readiness to turn on each other 'the common people'.

And so it's worked. The more posts like the OP people read, the more people start to 'suspect' this (or have their previous beliefs confirmed), whether or not it's true.

I'm sure budgeting is a problem, that's part of a whole range of issues. But I think the number of people who would go through the difficult and possibly humiliating process of being referred and using a foodbank just to get better quality stuff than they can afford, is very small. Not saying it never happens, of course, but by focusing publicly on these sorts of users, it just increases the view that there are lots of people like that.