Mum still in lockdown !!

[Kissingfrogs25]

I am getting so worried about my mum. She is in no way vulnerable, in good health and 72 years old, she lives with my dad, for context she smokes, but is a healthy weight no issues.

Mum has been in lockdown since early march 20 and has not been anywhere inside or outside since this date, she says she is too terrified she will die of covid. She has had all vaccines, its the only time she has been inside a building. She cuts her own hair, hasn't been to the dentist, doctor (will speak on phone if needed) in all that time.

She won't even eat a takeaway in case its contaminated

What on earth do I do? I managed to get her to call the dr, who put her on antidepressants and other medication, but this hasn't changed anything.

I have been meeting up with mum outside, but even then she looks nervous. My dad is not allowed to go anywhere either.

It is now getting colder, I didnt see her for eight months last winter because it was too cold to sit out. She won't even see her friends, the few she has left have to sit on a bench in the park.

Anyone else in this position? What can I do? The years are going by and I feel like I have lost my mum 😥

I do blame the media and in some places the government was as bad.

They did not give people realistic ideas about covid risks. They were continually exaggerated to make people comply.

People were shown things like people dying on the news, without understanding that apart from the suits and isolation, a covid death is pretty much like an other respiratory death.

And never put numbers of deaths in context for other causes. They tried to play down that most deaths were at ages where people were going to die of something.

All of this created a sense that the risk was far exceeding reality, while downplaying the normal risks we all live with.

Then in the aftermath, there has been little looking back and acknowledgement that many things were useless. Washing groceries, surface transmission has been shown to be not such a big deal. Many people still believe that barriers and even face shields had some use, which we know they didn't. And even masking is known to be largely ineffective in the population, and most people still masking totally don't do it properly.

And too little acknowledgement of the risks caused by not seeing the doctor, not going out, not moving around. These have serious health implications in themselves.

I must admit, my mum acts silly sometimes in terms of Covid too. She used to go to fitness class twice a week, since 2020 she won't go because covid (despite testing positive and having 3 jabs afterwards). She admits she's too lazy to workout at home and keeps piling on pounds. It's not healthier in anyway than protecting from covid. She has high blood pressure and my grandma died of diabetes. Stupid mass media messed with people's minds so much...

It does make sense to be cautious in the sense of taking precautions such as mask wearing to try to stop catching Covid when leaving the home. Even if I realise this doesn't fit into people's normal pre-pandemic life that they so want to do. Covid infections are increasing once again at the moment, and hospitalisations are going up especially in England (Scotland is already higher infection levels), so it does make sense to me to be being more cautious right now. Looking at the death figures now isn't the time to be doing so as they do not yet reflect the outcome of the extra hospitalisations and instead are the result of the significant but short-lived ending of the last wave in advance of this new one - infections just dipped below my 1 in 70 level to become still too high at 1 in 75 and then went back up. We are never doing anything to bring infections down to any low level, even though UKHSA has been in denial of this amount of prevalence, likely in every city, town and many other places nationwide and in every school and likely to be one infection on every full double-decker bus, by calling these levels "low" that are higher than many pre-Omicron times.

I was never framed when they tried to convince me that Omicron inevitably meant higher levels of infection as this was only made the case by them ensuring people did nothing to ever make it any different. This is a high level at 1 in 75 and is higher than that now as a low level might be a handful of infections or none at all in my city not likely numerous infections. There are likely several thousand infections in my medium-sized city - that isn't low. It is likely in every area of the city, every suburb and every housing estate on each.

It is not in prison as in theory I could leave. In practice it is too much work and cumbersome and kept here by the continued existence of Covid at such levels as caused by the rest of society in total, so if people want me to leave "prison" the answer lies in their hands to do something about Covid and therefore make it in practice possible for me to leave.

If I were in China, outside of a period when a lockdown in an area where the virus has re-emerged, affects less than 1% of the country's population, as opposed to perhaps 4% of the UK in lockdown here (as a back of fag packet rough estimate, nothing scientific or properly polled) - perhaps 2-3 million clinically vulnerable people plus maybe 1 million in de facto lockdown such as myself despite not being clinically vulnerable, perhaps in China I would be able to leave my home as it would be safe to do so when there is zero Covid in most areas of the country at most times. The problem is a country such as the UK in which Covid is made ever-present and maintained at high levels that then keeps me in lockdown by it being here. In China, apart from other restrictions on daily life, I would have much more freedom and be able to leave my home when there were no infections in my area and therefore the risk very low.

However, if I wanted to go to China, apart from practical difficulties of settling there, I would have to pass through this dangerous country to order to travel there and therefore it is in practice impossible to move to China and be way more safe from Covid at the vast majority of times. I suspect China has little choice but to pursue zero Covid (which isn't literally zero all the time) because if the virus were allowed to be prevalent as much as it is here, with its 1.4 billion people it would quickly infect millions of people at our rates and whatever health service China has would not be able to cope. Not that ours is coping at present as the A&E crisis is extended and the services we have come to rely on previously available in our NHS are no longer here. People's operations are, as predicted, being cancelled yet again whilst Covid infections rise as every hospitalisation takes up time away from what could have been done instead and people whose operations are now postponed yet again are now becoming quite ill and some unable to work due to what failure to operate causes after so long. The health service is having to prioritise people who are urgent life-threatening although a point does come where people who have been waiting so long themselves become urgent to some extent. Just not as urgent as someone immediately dying so left indefinitely and their condition unoperated on getting worse.

The "exaggeration" of the media, a political right-wing argument, actually reflected the true risk before. It appears to have been this way because it supported the Government and official approach at the time, which has changed, gone back on and contradicted itself and the media narrative gone along to match it at every stage and, now the Government hasn't cared for the past many months as long as I can now remember, it has been constant downplaying and biased towards seeking reassurance every time. Far from exaggerating the risk, it has therefore been downplaying the risk for quite some time now, framing sensible public health measures emotively as "restrictions" and clearly causing many people to behave as if the pandemic is over and outright false claims to that effect repeatedly being made.

Paragon. No one cares. Trust me.

My whole complaint is that no-one (else) cares so thank you for upholding it and showing myself to be true and correct.

Proves my point, or alternatively provides the confirmation bias that others will say I was always seeking.

It is actually shameful and disgraceful that no-one cares that they are putting me into indefinite lockdown by their continued unacceptable normality behaviour and are not prepared to make any changes, not even minor ones, to make this any other way. People do not care and are utterly ableist.

In the kindest possible way- you need to seek medical help. Can you access counselling via an autism charity?

Sympathies but no answers.
My parents won’t even see us outside. Saw them last in December 2019.
feels like a bereavement with no bodies to mourn.

so if people want me to leave "prison" the answer lies in their hands to do something about Covid and therefore make it in practice possible for me to leave

People aren't going to be running around wringing their hands asking what you want to do and how that can be made easier for you. No-one's interested in how you choose to live your life; you're the one making yourself suffer, not us.

I have a couple of friends in their 50s, fully vaccinated, who still appear to be in lockdown. I've met them for one walk in 2.5 years. One has missed every school concert and open evening etc, their daughters haven’t had any friends over, they haven't been on holiday etc. Yet both have teenagers mixing freely at school and at parties, including at my house. But me and my daughter are apparently too dangerous to meet them even for a coffee. It's completely illogical. The husband of one works in a hospital and recently had covid, she either had it mildly or not at all. I thought she might come out of hiding after that, (she certainly avoided it for a long time which I think intensified the fear), but not so. They're missing out on so much, it's sad and frustrating.

I do hope you can manage to access some support or help @Paragon59 as this sounds like a disabling way to live. Also I think it’s a bit unfair for the OPs thread to have been derailed, so I’ll leave it there.

This is awful, I have no helpful advice as I'm not in your situation.
Being that scared by covid, I have been, it caused me (in part) to have a mental breakdown.
In a nutshell what they are doing is not living. How sad to be so scared that they can't live!
I had to snap myself out of it due to having two small kids when I had my breakdown but I can imagine it's not as easy when you're older :(

As a final word and reminder - none of us are getting out of here alive.

There is a prime example of the downplaying and seemingly wanting to cause the situation to be even worse before anything is ever done in this article yesterday as well as numerous unevidenced and disputed things that are nothing to do with science in the hopeless advice of this country.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/explainers-54239922

"Overall infection levels remain lower than in the summer".
Of course. Always compare to a time when infections were lower than now, given that we caused another high wave of virus in the summer that, by definition, we will not be as many as then right now due to that wave ending as we are now straight into this one. Infection levels remain constantly higher than what was usual at most times pre-Omicron outside of the infection waves that we caused. They may even be higher now than the peak of some of those waves for all I know. They remain lower in the summer, a non-like-for-like comparison that picks a different time of year whilst failing to point out that this summer has seen more deaths than last year or 2020, although I realise that no-one else cares.

They will be lower in the summer whilst we cause this wave to increase until such point as we have caused a worse situation by it constantly being lower than summer (so impliedly no need to do anything as they remain lower) and therefore just wait until it gets higher than the summer - and then they'll compare to worst possible time in winter before (likely January 2021), always looking back, to the worst times before, in order to say "look, not as bad now" and in order to get us to have waves of even higher infection that causes more death and disability in them than lower waves, even if same percentage mortality in vaccinated era and notionally lower risk of long Covid in Omicron completely wiped out by having more infections. After all, it isn't as bad as July until it is and then not as bad as January 2021 so we are pushed into having worse and worse infection levels and higher waves and then accepting higher death numbers and, then... look, not as bad as last time.

"but health experts warn the UK is facing a hard winter". I wonder why? Perhaps because we are doing nothing at all about this wave in autumn.

"The NHS says the symptoms are similar to those for colds and flu." Again, false equation to colds and flu. The misinformation trope equating Covid with flu that has already been debunked by Full Fact and the position still remains not like flu in Omicron time. Informed by a scientist that Covid is 50 times worse than flu. It is also causing a lot more death than flu.

"Across the UK, people are largely advised to treat Covid like any other infectious respiratory disease." Entirely inappropriate advice from our officials, and based on no science, as Covid is not "like any other infectious respiratory disease".

"Routine Covid testing is not recommended, and free tests are no longer available for most people." Again, the reasons for the lack of recommendation and the non-availability for free tests are nothing to do with science. They are wholly political.

"However, you can buy one privately for about £2 - see below for what to do if you test positive." Again, in a cost of living crisis, some people are more able to do this than others. It is blatant protection of rich people's interests again who are the ones less likely to be affected by Covid as they are able to protect themselves. Covid continues to have discriminatory impact (not that anyone else now cares).

"In England, the official guidance says adults with symptoms should try to stay at home and avoid contact with others until they feel better.
If they do leave home, the government suggests wearing a mask and avoiding crowded spaces."

Doesn't comply with scientific evidence on whether people can still be infectious even when they feel better. Fails to advise on the type of mask needed and is UK exceptionalist - other countries such as Germany and USA advise high-grade masks.

"In Scotland, people with symptoms are advised to self-isolate at home.
Those with a high temperature or who feel too ill to go to work should avoid contact with others until they feel better."

Completely flawed and entirely irrelevant as people without symptoms can transmit. This was what I suspected from the very start of the virus arriving but I wrongly followed our public health officials and went about my normal business, just washing my hands, even though I did wonder why I was doing so given that it seemed that asking me if I had symptoms is entirely irrelevant as people may be able to transmit without symptoms. Nonetheless, I followed the advice and for the past two years or more have considered that it exposed me to unacceptable risk. They advised no masks in summer 2020 only to change this later - again I consider this put me at risk. Ever since this, I have ignored our official advice and sensibly substituted my own stricter advice instead and been following that. My own advice, to myself, has no more legal status that the Government's - i.e. none. It is therefore a set of legal blank pages and I wipe the whole lot out and substitute my own advice instead.

There is similar guidance in Wales and Northern Ireland.

Other countries now following the same unscientific approach for political reasons the response of Wales hampered by having to go along with the risk that England has posed to it.

Again, the failure to self-isolate if positive test(!) has no scientific basis and the five days is nothing to do with science either. Hopeless hopeless hopeless. Also hopeless avoiding those at higher risk as anyone could be high risk that they don't know about.

This is all what is wrong with the UK and is part of the living with Covid policy. Don't need to tell employers - continue to work even if you know you are positive as the responsibility is on other people, including those that are vulnerable, to take measures to protect themselves from you. As anyone could be going to work when positive, including people in public facing roles, I therefore now have to assume everyone might have the virus when they are at their work and avoid having contact with them. That is my personal responsibility whilst no-one else has any or cares.

No support for people to self-isolate either and encourages a system of presenteeism and infecting people across the country (though people have been convinced that this is now not much risk).

Send the kids to school and pass the virus around, despite the fact that Omicron is not less severe for children than the previous versions of the virus were for them and despite large numbers of children with long Covid and numerous time-off that these children then have to take that disrupts their education. Also deny transmission of the virus in schools by conducting research with parameters unable to detect it, claim this one piece of non-independent research represents the "body of evidence" when in fact it does not and when there are numerous pieces of research around the world showing that the virus transmits in schools. They admitted it was a vector for transmission during the brief period they wanted us to go along with their closing them - now they want the schools open they have been in denial ever since and claimed they are not the hubs of transmission that we know they are.

"However, for 10 days after exposure they are advised to:
...
consider wearing a mask in indoor or poorly-ventilated spaces".

Perhaps advise people to wear a mask in this situation, advice that they can then use their personal responsibility about whether to follow or not, rather than advising people to "consider" something, as I am not aware that remaining in a state of considering or thinking about whether to do something has any effect on the transmission of a virus.

Is not my having autism itself a "disabling way to live" and what do you suggest I can do to get rid of my autism?

My apologies as I didn't intend to derail the thread, which had remained intact for some time and I only came here originally to explain why I was in the situation of being in lockdown, in order that people could try to understand how some people in it might be thinking, only for me to be met here by responses that gaslighted and stereotyped me for being "anxious" and made ableist assumptions about what "living a life" is, defining it in their own normalist way. My unintended derailing of the thread, of which I was in honesty unaware of, is itself because of my autism and I see people make no adjustments for this.

There’s someone I know vaguely through an online hobby group, who is still living in lockdown. She was happy enough living alone before 2020 but had work, hobbies (not just our online group but real interaction), met friends, went on dates.

She went into her own personal lockdown in March 2020 and has never come out. Now sees the whole outside world as a dangerous threatening place, not even just through covid but through everything, is getting more paranoid and actively antisocial. Resigned from her job when they returned to offices and found another one that was 100% at home. Spends loads and loads of time and effort on ‘activism’ (=posting on Twitter) about covid and politics, and has developed a group of friends who all reinforce each other on the most extreme elements of this. Occasionally she will give us hobby people totally unsolicited advice like “I see cases are rising again in your country, and I know you have kids, here’s how to make a mask for an 18-month-old!” and we’re all going “er… no, thanks.”

She has recently got into prepping and food storage, to guard against the future time when covid has caused mass long-term disability and brain damage and the few uninfected people are on their own.

Some people just got broken by this. I hope they can find their way back.

It is a very restricted way of living. In huge Covid restrictions imposed by everyone else persisting Covid for the purposes of removing restrictions from themselves.
So yes, I am hugely restricted, whilst others are not and complain about measures that are not restrictions that they do not want to do anymore, despite the fact we continue to wear seat belts many years later due to trying to protect people's safety, but as confirmed here people do not care.
It was a sad way to end this, all I did originally was come here and set out my rational decision in the way I did and supported by scientific evidence etc., yet never receiving from anyone else (unless I missed it) any details as to any rational decision making on their part and instead to be met with abuse and discriminatory behaviour throughout, that I now think sums up how you typical people are. It isn't rational - it's been an emotional need in most people to proceed as if normal and hasn't been concerned at all about the consequences of this on others, who may be people in lockdown and may be why some of them are there.
People's behaviour to me on this thread has spoken further volumes to the collective behaviour of everyone I've already seen for months and has driven a wedge that shows that most people are in fact heartless, uncaring and generally what you've shown to me isn't very favourable. We are not all in this together and we never were, as it seems people are not now willing to do anything about the virus that now isn't a problem for them, until such point as it becomes one, and, having compromised and not wanting people to do lockdown, even measures short of this people are not willing to do - it has been politicised, framed and turned against me, with non-autistic people showing numerous bad things about themselves to myself in the process. It will not be forgotten. I have already taken loudly and clearly, even before I came here, the fact most people are so abusive and denigratory against disabled people.
However, I am not caved in by any of this. I fully intend to remain in lockdown for the rest of my life if necessary, and it is necessary as long as people in this country do nothing to get the virus levels down and make it safe for everyone, so that, after I've spent decades in lockdown, which no-one else was even prepared to do and seems to think is horrific for themselves, it will show just how truly reprehensible and unacceptable people generally have been. However, I suspect the same response - you as in everyone in general doesn't care. Not to worry, that message is loud and clear and speaks volumes informing me clearly of the truth as to how most people really are and speaks louder than any denial which is, as usual, lies.

I only read to page 2 but felt I had to speak out. will carry on reading in a second..but I was wondering if it hadnt already been mentioned and it could have done so forgive me but is there someone in authority who your parents really trust ? I say this as my mum should trust me but when it comes to things similar she doesnt or won;t! I wonder if there is a vicar, policeman.nurse,community leader who you could contact with your concerns who may be able to approach your parents to help, to tell them the world has opened up again and it is fine for them to do so too? My mum is of the generation who believes absolutely in authority figures as mentioned,and blindly takes their word as law, me not so much!! It was just an idea maybe it would help your parents to live their lives freely again? Just my idea , I am so sorry OP this is so dreadfully sad for you all. I send you warmest wishes x

You don’t need to take that tone with me, my child has autism so I’m not unsympathetic in the slightest on that score. But that in and of itself doesn’t have to stop you living your life.

And fair point on the derailing, @Paragon59 , although I did simply politely point it out, not sure what other adjustments would be required. Again, I wish you well and really will leave it there.

Age UK study www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/reports-and-publications/reports-and-briefings/health--wellbeing/the-impact-of-covid-19-on-older-people_age-uk.pdf

don’t know if this helpful to anyone www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/coronavirus/tips-to-cope-with-anxiety-lockdown-lifting/

I recently heard of a couple in their 50s who’ve been very reluctant to go anywhere, even to the extent of cancelling hospital appointments for important tests. It’s had a knock on effect onto their teen daughter who has become a school refuser and is living like a recluse.

It’s really sad.

It’s very unfair you claim everyone is being “ableist”, as I’ve already explained - I am autistic AND CEV - and I’ve had omicron. We are not coming from a place of ignorance or loathing of disability.

Maybe they are making huge sacrifices that others aren't prepared to make? (In missing every school concert and open evening.) And if people generally were prepared to do so, maybe this pandemic would actually be over quicker.

I agree it is illogical about letting teenagers mix at school, although maybe they have no choice about that but have to send the children to school and, given that they are already mixing with each other, then see little extra harm in them doing so. Perhaps they are concerned about children's development, who knows?

It isn't hiding and it is not necessarily fear or maybe it is that this virus is still a threat and therefore it is justified to be in fear.

I am glad I don't have children at school as that would be another unacceptable risk, given that our society does nothing to control transmission in schools and pursues this mass infection policy and exposes people to risk to their health (not that the Health & Safety Executive would be bothered to do anything as I suspect there is a complicit system and that it is part of it). All official bodies, when it comes to Covid, in this country are useless - they are fine on everything else. It is probably because they are following Government guidance - of this government (the ones since 2019) that I would not put pass them were not intentionally putting everyone in the country at risk - after all it was run by a man proven to be a criminal with the acceptance of the criminal sanction over the party in Downing Street and has thrown people under the bus before. It is very dystopian.

I wish I could avoid the essential medical appointment as those are the one weak link along with this society seems determined to get me to get Covid and doesn't do anything to enable me to avoid the risks the health service of all places creates. It is small wonder that a lot of transmission now seems to be people catching the virus in hospitals. I am also not surprised about missing school concerts and open evenings as I would do the very same given that the premises of schools in society and those environments are not safe. An indoor environment, people gathered, for hours on end, likely no ventilation since this society is so useless on Covid, many people properly not wearing masks anymore, with high levels of sustained community transmission in the UK all year and infection levels rising again now - it is completely senseless for anyone to be going into such a place and I would absolutely refuse. If you are going to those places, I'd consider you to be a Covid danger to me too so would be even less likely to meet for a coffee as it is clear extra risk.

Missing out on being infected by Covid - I don't mind missing out on such thing and am happily entertained and fed and watered in my life in my home. Some people are not going on their mad dash out for a foreign holiday, damaging the climate for everyone, as perhaps they can cope and don't have mental health issues that some others, but not everyone going on holiday, appear not to be able to cope with unless they go on foreign holiday, encouraged by media promotions that serve the interests of the travel industry that BBC News is so keen to have up and running and is biased towards seeing people constantly visiting families and friends abroad and ignoring people kept in lockdown in this country due to others going abroad, taking the virus back round and spreading again here and people not bothered with all this constant high infection levels in the UK that may be keeping people in lockdown as it continues to be just too much risk and danger and public nuisance (the public nuisance being the situation that Covid represents throughout society) that other people have created and persist.

I do blame the media and in some places the government was as bad. They did not give people realistic ideas about covid risks. They were continually exaggerated to make people comply.

The government were appalling and it was deliberate policy. They were saying right at the start that lots of people still didn't feel 'substantially threatened'. It's all in here.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/882722/25-options-for-increasing-adherence-to-social-distancing-measures-22032020.pdf

Naturally, no fucks were given about what this was going to do to mental health. Those with existing anxiety, OCD and health anxiety in particular were collateral damage.

And too little acknowledgement of the risks caused by not seeing the doctor, not going out, not moving around. These have serious health implications in themselves.

Yep. And so much of this was avoidable. We could still have had a lockdown whilst also being encouraged to get out of the house and exercise. It wouldn't even have taken a substantial policy change. Michael Gove not going on the telly talking about how long was reasonable to cycle for would have helped at least somewhat. People could've been told they were entitled to be outside for unlimited time to exercise, which was always true in England anyway, and advised to take as much advantage of that as possible. How much better off might we have been on a population health level if not for the collective loss of fitness and weight gain?

But the problem with a stay at home message is that when people did stay at home, they spent a lot of that time sedentary, eating more, drinking more.