At what age did your children become responsible for their own laundry?

[WhoWants2Know]

My kids are 14 and almost 13. Up until now, I have washed and dried all the clothes, folded them and put them on a separate shelf for each child to put away. Which they forget. Until I remind them, then nag them, and eventually lose my temper and shout about it.

This summer, the piles have grown, and the kids dig through them and drag everything about. Then they can't find their clothes and get angry at me because they can't find what they want to wear. (Which is generally exactly where I said it would be.)

After the millionth argument about "me losing their clothes" when it's my responsibility to do the laundry, I decided I didn't want to do all the work and also be yelled at for it. So I gave them each a laundry basket and a peg hanger for their small bits to dry on.

They feel like I'm being mean and making life difficult, but is it really that much to ask of teens? I asked at work and one of my colleagues said her 20 something child still brings laundry home for her to wash!

Regarding the why is it inefficient to let dc do their thing argument. All other things being equal, let us compare a case where you wash when a single common basket is full, versus 3 baskets (one grown ups + 2dc) doing separate loads, and wait for their baskets to become full, in the first scenario youd do more frequent washes and second scenario you'd be inflating inventory in the system (=dirty clothes) with potential "bursty" behaviour when all baskets are full and competing for resources (=washer and dryer). In steady state, you'd be using the same amount of water and energy. However, From a production systems science perspective, the first one is a far more efficient system, if your performance metrics are the amount of clean available clothes and minimal chaotic behaviour.

Where as the reality is one of us does DS's washing Friday evening after school. I do mine Saturday morning and DH does his when he feels like it and has time/needs clothes.

No chaos and clean clothes when we need them.

DC are teens. My standard laundry schedule last year was Monday and Wednesday (dark washing - to schedule with PE days) and weekend (pale washing - school shirts and bedding)
Sometimes there was an extra load but generally 2 x dark colours and 1 x white/pale colours was sufficient.
If the DC had to do their own washing, they wouldn't have a full load of white washing before they ran out of school shirts

I was 26.....when I moved out 🤣😂

Well that's good and works for your family. However your method requires strict scheduling to prevent chaotic behaviour whereas the common basket method is more flexible. It depends on if you'd like to have a schedule. I don't as my mental task load can't really handle 3 strictly scheduled laundry days on my calendar.

I have to agree with this,

It's clear that there isn't a right or wrong answer on the best way as each families circumstances and needs etc are different,

For us we don't have scheduled days for laundry. We are pretty weather dependent as much as possible so if the forecast is good - laundry gets done beds etc will get stripped. Will often do a load overnight so it is ready to be pegged out first thing. Then curse them the forecast is wrong. 😂😂

But the it's laundry day approach just doesn't work for me or our family.

We're not really strict about it 😂😂 jeez people get really weird about laundry!

That's just generally how it works out on an average week but as there's only three of us in the house nobody is losing their shit because they have a 30 min wait for the washing machine ( not that there's ever a wait cos the machine literally gets used on average 4 times week... 5 the week we do bedding)

No need to over think it. It's not a big deal.
Just do what works for your family.

Haha I don't schedule laundry days!
We have a routine like most families but it's not like it's in my calendar or anything 😂😂

People really struggle to see things from a different perspective sometimes. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Schedule your laundry for cheap leccy times. Simples.

As for the original question, it was about 24 for both daughters.

We would have had to pay/contribute for the clothes destroyed otherwise…

Mine are 7 and 10. We have the one washing basket so they put their own stuff in (although I monitor the 7 year old who will put things in that’s she worn about half an hour because she cba putting them away). I do all the washing and drying and I give the clean clothes to the kids to put away. The kids can’t reach the line (I can only just) but as the older one grows he can start putting this out and bringing things in too. I don’t think I’d bother with everyone doing their own washing- like pps have said it isn’t cost effective but if everyone chips in then it’s not such an onerous task

Mine have their own washing baskets for dirty laundry in their bedrooms.
The older 3, are 14, 10 & 9 and if I say can they put their wash on they can.
Sometimes I get them to hang out washing, sometimes I call them to get washing in.

Generally I do it all, but they are all capable. The 5 year olds cannot, but they help me put their washing away and like to help me put their wash on.

Personally, I think it's just lazy for a teen not to be able to do their own washing. Just as a teen should be able to cook a meal, sort the dishwasher, Hoover, dust and clean bathrooms!

My kids are 9 and 10 and I just made them start doing their laundry last year. I got tired of my daughter putting clean clothes in the hamper and my son just being lazy and not caring, so I decided they would start doing their own. Given at this age, I help remind them about doing the laundry, but they also have a schedule of when to do theirs along with a few other chores. They have gotten better at keeping up with it. They do also fold and put their laundry up.

I support you in getting them to start doing their laundry, one day they will be out of the house on their own and they will need to know how to take care of themselves. I would rather them learn as they go instead of cramming everything in at once and getting stressed.

I went to a boarding school when I was 13 in Japan and have been doing my own laundry (including towels, beddings, etc) since.

I don’t understand why being responsible for your own mess is “mean” in any way.

We have a laundry "production line" these days.

The cycle starts on Saturdays.

I sort and wash.

DS18 dries (line/dryer depending on weather).

DH takes upstairs and sorts into each person's basket.

DS12 takes his and DS18s baskets to their roooms.

Everyone puts their own clothes away/or uses from their baskets don't care.

DS12 puts sheets/towels away in linen cupboard and on Saturday morning rounds up all baskets so there are empty ones to start the process again. Tipping out any remaining clothes on beds if necessary, again, don't care.

I still remember making this decision. The kids were about that age and on Fridays i would ask for all their uniforms. I would ask them to count them to make sure they all got washed. I'd put a load on. Then on Sunday I'd ask them to double check that they all got washed. Then EVERY SINGLE WEEK without fail on Monday or Tuesday I would stand there being screamed at by one or the other of the kids as they didn't have a part of their uniforms which was eventually found on the floor of their room or in their bathroom. I got tired of being blamed for something that was their fault. I asked them to check. I asked them to count and they would lie to me rather than bother to take 2 secs to count. So from then on they did their own washing. It was the best thing and yeah they still didn't always have clothes but they had no one but themselves to blame. Now they are 18 & 16 and they are still generally expected to do most of their own washing but particularly the older one has learnt the value of sharing the chore and will work with me to get it done rather than fight.

mine are too young but I’m pretty sure I started doing my own at around 12 or 13. I remember suddenly being horrified at the thought of my mother handling my worn underwear!

Not sure what everyone else is doing but I don't do laundry for my kids at all. They all live at home, 5 kids total. My oldest is 20, youngest is 12. I gradually started them on their own. Between 5 -10, I'd wash/dry/fold and they would put away. Between 10 and up, we gave them a full class on how to use the washer/dryer & they've been doing it ever since. I do help them occasionally if they have too much going on at school but for the most part they're self sufficient. All of them can at least boil water and fry an egg. For my youngest, I don't let him work the stove unsupervised but all are pretty safe and don't really give us pushback. Their only chore is dishes once a week and to keep their rooms clean. We all work all other chores together as a family. Both my spouse and I work full time.

Dd (14) brings her own washing to the kitchen but I load and start the washer. she will empty the machine and hang her wet washing on the clothes rails to dry. Most the time I end up having to take the washing off the rails and folding it for her to put away.
Soon I will teach her how to use the machine.

At 14 I'm pretty sure she is capable!. The machine is the easy bit. Teach her to be responsible and fold her own clothes.

mine we’re doing laundry since primary school age.
It was all in one basket, twice a week I’d ask one or the other child to run a wash. They’d sort out the colours and whites and run a wash of whichever pile made up a load. then both would hang the clothes to dry. One child would sort through the dry laundry and leave clean laundry piles in each persons room to be put away by the owner of the clothes.

I refused to iron unless it was strictly necessary.

Eldest always folded and hung her clothes away younger child would leave her laundry all bunched up or on the floor. Up to her I did not interfere.

they both started doing their own laundry at around 11, sometimes eldest will add her sisters in hers to make a load, or younger one will add mine.

We have a large washing bag on the landing that everyone is expected to put their dirty washing in. No clothes left on floor. If it's not in the bag, it doesn't get washed. DH and I generally do the washing but I will ask the DCs to peg up or bring it in occasionally. I fold it once dry (don't iron) and put in the DCs room and it HAS to be put away that day.
DH struggles to know which clothes belong to which DD and empties all the dry clothes onto our bed and the DDs have to go and collect theirs.

They've had to do this since they could dress themselves, about 4yrs?

I did all the laundry until they left home. Why waste electric, detergent and water, as well as wear and tear on the machine.
Plus I can't stand the washing machine being on all the time.
Besides, I didn't do the laundry, the machine did. It's not like I was taking the laundry to the river to beat with rocks.

The logistics and faff of everyone on the house doing their own washing, drying etc seems exhausting. I do it for the house (kids 5 and 8) and I imagine I'll carry on doing it. There are other things they can help with as they get older. I try to minimise the number of loads per week.

I cant remember what age but definitely secondary school age i had to clean the bathroom and occasionally kitchen for my dad to agree to having the Internet. It won't do them any harm. Infact it will probably help in later life as I know people who's parents did everything for them and weren't sure how to even work a washing machine