At what age did your children become responsible for their own laundry?

[WhoWants2Know]

My kids are 14 and almost 13. Up until now, I have washed and dried all the clothes, folded them and put them on a separate shelf for each child to put away. Which they forget. Until I remind them, then nag them, and eventually lose my temper and shout about it.

This summer, the piles have grown, and the kids dig through them and drag everything about. Then they can't find their clothes and get angry at me because they can't find what they want to wear. (Which is generally exactly where I said it would be.)

After the millionth argument about "me losing their clothes" when it's my responsibility to do the laundry, I decided I didn't want to do all the work and also be yelled at for it. So I gave them each a laundry basket and a peg hanger for their small bits to dry on.

They feel like I'm being mean and making life difficult, but is it really that much to ask of teens? I asked at work and one of my colleagues said her 20 something child still brings laundry home for her to wash!

😂😂😂

@Graphista not sure why you are so angry tbh.

I agree that you want your 18yo to feel confident going to Uni, being able to get organised etc… but assuming that if parents are doing the washing fur the whole family then it means that said 18yo is incompetent…. That takes it too far tbh.
There are many ways to teach a child to feel confident. Many ways to run a family so it goes smoothly. It doesn’t always means they gave to do theur win laundry by the time they are 12yo.

My exH used to take his clothes home from university - should have realised then how useless he'd be at housework!

I think making them do their own washing is fair. If they can't be polite and appreciative when you do their washing, why should you carry on with a task that they are perfectly capable of doing themselves?

I think teens need a reminder that treating mums (and dads) with rudeness means that you will remove the source of friction.

Be prepared for them to run out of fresh school shirts and weekend clothes they just HAVE to wear or they will never be able to go out in public because everyone will laugh at them.

Be clear on expectations, whether clothes are done or not is in their hands and you will not get involved in arguments if they don't have clean clothes to wear.

I wonder how ofter you run the washing maschine for how many people? Or anyone else with this system?

I consider a norm to run one load of lights and one load of darks - a week for a family of four so not quite sure if each of you runs a load once a month?

DS was 13, I worked full time as a single mum, I didn't have time.

@Graphista why the aggression?
Your experience at uni, twice, is irrelevant to my daughters experience at uni.
Me doing laundry for my family has no effect on their time management, organisation and prioritising.
What a lot of assumptions you make, but if that's what makes you happy fill your boots.

We don’t do individual laundry. DH and I take turns (mainly because our youngest has a condition that means often sheets can be soiled with blood or vomit so we don’t feel the kids should be dealing with that).

Each person has a laundry basket in their room. They bring it down to the big basket. Until they bring it down it stays dirty.

When it’s dry it goes in a named box and they take it upstairs. If the box gets full we don’t do any washing for that person until they empty their box.
it only took once of someone being upset that they couldn’t wear their favourite item for them all to realise how serious I was.

I think the inefficiency thing comes from people who are used to fill one load / one load of a type, ie darks/ights etc/ a week for the whole family. So we assume that other people run their maschines half empty /I have seen this in lots of families I worked for/ every day.

In my world it takes 3-4 weeks to have enough clothes to run a full load in an average sized washing machine.

Totally inefficient to do laundry other than as a household. But your DCs can join in.

I do the washing and sorting of colours, putting on loads and hanging out. DH does any ironing that’s needed. My pre-teens have to put their dirty laundry in the family laundry basket every night and fetch and put away all their folded and clean clothes. They sometimes help with folding and can pair socks. Even the 5 year old has to help (although has to be reminded!). I’ve shown the older two DCs how to put on a wash and load/switch on the tumble drier. If there is a load waiting to go, they will do that if I ask them.

My 2 year old puts all of his dirty washing in the laundry basket. He’s always on top of it too - if he sees other clothes he’ll pick them up and put them in. I’ve had him involved since the beginning; like most babies he was fascinated with the washing machine. If I give him clothes he puts them away. He plays with pegs etc but clearly I put the washes on and dry the clothes. We have a auto dispensing washing machine so that makes things easier and there are no dangerous tablets or powders for him to be distracted with/ to try to get into

I was 14, pretended I wanted to learn to use the machine to be helpful, in reality it was because I got an incense stick burn hole in the expensive duvet cover my mum had bought me and couldn't face her telling me off if she ever saw it.

This is why I do most of the laundry. But I only go as far as folding it into baskets/piles, they have to put it away.
Older 2 (15 and 16) wash their own bedding and will chuck suitable things in with it to make up a load, or if they've been away they will wash all their stuff when they get back. They do their own ironing. They can earn extra pocket money for doing washing or hanging a load out, so they do sometimes bother.

DD is 12 and way more helpless than her brothers were at that age, I probably let her get away with it as she's the youngest! She will strip her bed and remake it.

For practical and economic reasons, everyone doing their own washing jsut doesn't work.

My DD has been doing her laundry since she was 12. She had LOTS of it cause she played sports, so had lots of dirty practice clothes.

Also depends on the size of your washing machine. Ours is a 9kg one so much bigger than the average. One teen would probably fill 1.5 load a week. Which would create endless issues esp with the weekend/hobby stuff.

And yes we also do a white wash for shirts. Because everything that isn’t white is washed together…..

Mine wash their own bedding during he day when required however clothing goes in the household laundry basket and I do all the washing as and when- normally one load a day. My children are 19 and 20.

I don’t have time for everyone to faff about and do their own laundry, I have a routine after work regarding laundry and housework.

Putting away started young with pjs & underwear at around 3, most other clothes at around 5/6 - this didn't last!

DD2 has been doing washing & drying since she was about 10, ironing from 12 onwards.

DD1 has never quite grasped the concept of laundry & thinks her clothes are picked up, washed, dried, ironed & put away by fairies (her boyfriend does all their laundry) I've seen her attempt to use an iron - she's like a cow with a gun

DS would wear the same clothes without washing if I didn't prise them from his body at regular intervals.

DS and I share the load. I usually put the machine on then we either put out and bring in our own if both home or sometimes he does it sometimes I do. He lays my clothes out on my bed, I do the same with his so they don't get creased but we don't fold them. It works out 50/50 in term time, he does more in school holidays. He's 16 and we've done it that way for at least three years. No point in separate loads as we wouldn't fill the machine.

I mean, I’m sure it will do them good, as long as it doesn’t drive you mad.

At that age they brought their dirty washing down. It got washed and dried over a couple days as light and dark washed got done and me or DP dumped on their beds for them to put away. If they wanted something washed quicker, yes they’d have had to have done it.

@JenniferWooley

Cow with a gun made me snort out loud

I always did ‘communal’ washing when dds were still at home. Whites, lights, darks. Surely more sensible and economical to do this.

I’d put clean folded washing on their beds for them to put away - that was a joke, BTW. Dh used to say that if we ever moved house again he wouldn’t bother with wardrobes or chests of drawers for them - they only used the floordrobe. But that was their lookout - if they wanted to wear something that had ended up crumpled on the floor, they knew where the iron was.

@Luredbyapomegranate it sounds better when said in my Scottish accent & the use of coo rather than cow 🤣

12 . All mine do their own laundry. It's not rocket science.

I wonder how ofter you run the washing maschine for how many people? Or anyone else with this system?

I consider a norm to run one load of lights and one load of darks - a week for a family of four so not quite sure if each of you runs a load once a month?

I do one full load of darks a week. I work full time and exercise most days so have no problem accumulating a full load over a week.
I don't own many white clothes so we might pool whites occasionally but not often as it's not a colour I wear.

DS has one full load of darks a week too - school uniform, football kit etc. whoever picks him up from school on a Friday gets him out of his uniform and puts the wash on so it dries in time.

DH probably does one dark wash every two weeks or so - I don't keep track tbh.

He washes his work shirts once he has a full load.

No half loads so it's no less efficient than one person doing it all.
It works for us 🤷🏼‍♀️

Never completely . I have 1 adult child at home who has health issues . All the washing goes in one laundry basket and I do the laundry , my daughter will happily assist by pegging stuff out / getting it in and putting her laundry away . We send ironing to our ironing lady . My husband cleans the washing machine and tumble dryer as his contribution . It works for us and IMO is the most time and cost efficient way to do it ( except the ironing lady ) . Everybody knows how to use the washing machine / tumble dryer should the need arise .

I wonder how ofter you run the washing maschine for how many people? Or anyone else with this system?

I consider a norm to run one load of lights and one load of darks - a week for a family of four so not quite sure if each of you runs a load once a month?

We do a mixed load of clothes a week between two of us. It's mostly dark or else blue/gray if light so all fine together, nothing white.