At what age did your children become responsible for their own laundry?

[WhoWants2Know]

My kids are 14 and almost 13. Up until now, I have washed and dried all the clothes, folded them and put them on a separate shelf for each child to put away. Which they forget. Until I remind them, then nag them, and eventually lose my temper and shout about it.

This summer, the piles have grown, and the kids dig through them and drag everything about. Then they can't find their clothes and get angry at me because they can't find what they want to wear. (Which is generally exactly where I said it would be.)

After the millionth argument about "me losing their clothes" when it's my responsibility to do the laundry, I decided I didn't want to do all the work and also be yelled at for it. So I gave them each a laundry basket and a peg hanger for their small bits to dry on.

They feel like I'm being mean and making life difficult, but is it really that much to ask of teens? I asked at work and one of my colleagues said her 20 something child still brings laundry home for her to wash!

**oh and we never really iron anything, that's on an as per need basis

Washing separately would inefficient

no need, jyst get them to go thst chore

I'm always confused about the inefficiency argument, the older children simply wait until they have enough clothes to wash a full load themselves, and then do so. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Whites are combined if necessary, but otherwise it works just fine this way. Maybe my children have more clothes than average?

When they left home, I don't see it as a big deal to stick somebody else's stuff in the washer alongside my own. I can't see the point of everyone doing small loads when I can do a full one. I also did their ironing because I enjoy it and I'd hate them to be going out in creased clothes. Funnily enough they all managed their own laundry without any instruction from me when they left.

I never understood this why should people in one household should be doing their laundry separately - what a waste of resources.

We do separate laundry in our house. I'm of the opinion that adults and older children should be responsible for their own laundry.
We're not wasting resources as we only put on full loads, it's the same amount of laundry just not mixed. I think it's easier when it comes to sorting and putting away.

Mine have been doing it for the past 2-3 years. 13,17, 20

I stopped my mother doing mine when I got fed up with the way she did it. Destroy a few items accidentally, leave blindingly obvious peg marks and wait.

I never understood this why should people in one household should be doing their laundry separately - what a waste of resources.

Well, we have one machine and one drying thing ie, so we'd have coordination issues and bigger stinky piles

It's not ineffective to do your washing. Just teach them that they have to do a full load.

Mines done their own since about 13 yrs old.

I can't be bothered with the faff of everyone having their own laundry baskets and doing their own washing. It seems such a hassle. I much prefer to be in charge of all the washing and let the DC do other jobs eg weeding, dishwasher or vacuuming.

Op I usually put their clothes into their rooms however I got the IKEA drawer divider and use one each for DC. They then carry those into theor rooms
It's all contained

My 9 year old has a box in her room. I put the clean stuff in there and she puts it away. It would be uneconomical for her to do her own washing.

Quite. Just another thing to do!
Household washing, they can put it away or whatever.

Yeah everyone does their own pile, they learn to take responsibility for it. We don't have many whites but those we do have we pool and are washed together. Other clothes they just learn that they don't wash themselves and if they want something washed they need to do it. Still not fully sorted the taking washing off the line and putting it away stage, but getting there.

One laundry basket. All people capable of doing it, except dd1 can't hang it up outside currently because of a back issue.
If they want something washed particularly then they have to either make sure I'm aware or put a wash on themselves.

Mine aren’t 100% responsible for their laundry, but at 10 and 13 I do expect them to put dirty stuff in a laundry basket and bring it down when asked. They all know how to put a wash on if asked, and how to hang things to dry if asked. I do expect them to put their clean stuff away - which they do sometimes lol!

However, as they are still kids I still will remind them to put stuff in the wash if we’re going away or whatever.

When they were 7&9 I had an accident and was injured so they had to learn how to load and turn on the machine under orders. Since then, it's been a case of I fold and expect them to put their stuff away. If there are any infractions....
If I find already folded clothes in the basket, I take that to mean someone wants to sort, put on a load of laundry and fold it.
If I find soggy towels on the floor, someone has volunteered to fold a load etc.

Now I'm recovered, I expect the 12 year old to put a load on (the default machine setting) if asked and both to help hang/fold if asked in the holidays. They are always expected to put their clean clothes away properly. I don't see the point of each doing their own laundry.

Mine started doing their own around 14-15 years.

I do it all. But everyone is responsible for what is washed and puts it's away again

I have 2 Ds 8 and 10.

Everybody gets one day a week that is their laundry day, and I also do a shirts wash. If the teens bring their basket downstairs in the morning, I do it for them, and give them the basket of clean dry stuff to take to their room and dump on the floor at the end of the day. Don’t separate whites, and have an inverter (v. cheap to run) tumble drier so that system works.
DD started doing her own at about 16 cos she could never get organised to bring her dirty clothes down. I refused to let her use the machines on other peoples days though. Ds1 is 17 and I mostly do his because he remembers to bring it down.

From about Y6 mine would sort out a wash (not just their stuff but everybody's) and hang it up. From Y7 they were expected to iron their own uniform and a good share of other clothes.

Some of their peer group still expected their mother to do it all right into their teens but I'm afraid I don't do mollycoddling.

mollycoddling to do your children's washing?
Really?

This kinda thing drives me nuts! As parents it's our job to raise them such that when they hit 18 they are competent, confident and useful adults.

You're absolutely right op yours are MORE than old enough to do their own laundry!

Mine was almost 12 when we had the final similar argument and I just went "fine! Do it yourself!" Showed her how and she was perfectly capable of cracking on!

@IcedOatLatte at 5 they are perfectly capable of putting their dirty clothes in the laundry hamper or even washer and putting clean away in drawers. As they get older it's then putting away on hangers, then learning where to put the detergent and so on and so forth.

The half full wash argument doesn't go either kids go through a lot of clothes in a week they have more than enough to make up full loads in most cases. School shirts don't NEED to go in a whites wash they can go in a lights wash and some school shirts aren't white anyway.

That never happens. If someone doesn't have enough whites for a full load they either ask the rest of the family if they have anything, or they fill the load with towels or sheets.

Yep this too

@thelonggame both times I went uni 18 yr olds who'd come from homes where mummy did everything did not fare well! Not just in terms of actually doing chores but time management, prioritisation, organisational skills... they floundered

I think I will still have to do everyone's whites to make up a full load.

Why can't one of THEM do everyone's whites?!

Ds is 14 and looking highly unlikely to start wanting to wash his weekly underpant and t-shirt himself any time soon.

Why is it a choice for him? You're the parent tell him to do it

I'm always confused about the inefficiency argument, the older children simply wait until they have enough clothes to wash a full load themselves, and then do so

Yep it's not hard!

Mines are older teens and I still do exactly what you are doing with yours @WhoWants2Know
They both know how to put wash on etc… but the clothes are still going in one laundry basket so 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

What I’ve never had though is the just pulling stuff out if the pile and then being grumpy if ‘clothes get lost’. I somehow managed to teach them that us doing the washing was something to appreciate/nit taking us for granted.

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