At what age did your children become responsible for their own laundry?

[WhoWants2Know]

My kids are 14 and almost 13. Up until now, I have washed and dried all the clothes, folded them and put them on a separate shelf for each child to put away. Which they forget. Until I remind them, then nag them, and eventually lose my temper and shout about it.

This summer, the piles have grown, and the kids dig through them and drag everything about. Then they can't find their clothes and get angry at me because they can't find what they want to wear. (Which is generally exactly where I said it would be.)

After the millionth argument about "me losing their clothes" when it's my responsibility to do the laundry, I decided I didn't want to do all the work and also be yelled at for it. So I gave them each a laundry basket and a peg hanger for their small bits to dry on.

They feel like I'm being mean and making life difficult, but is it really that much to ask of teens? I asked at work and one of my colleagues said her 20 something child still brings laundry home for her to wash!

We couldn't do it separately as that would be a wash a fortnight each

dC are 17, 15 and 13.

They are expected to put their clothes in the wash DH or I will usually stick a wash on when we notice we have a load or need something. They are expected to help peg out on the line, and sort into individual piles, they are also expected to iron their own pile and put away.

We went through a long period where I would iron and give them the pile to put away, which got kicked around their floor and put back in the wash ... For my blood pressure this is workable for us!

If we each watched separately we'd never have enough to do two full loads of clothes each every week. I wouldn't want to leave my clothes handing around in laundry baskets longer.

3 of us would mean 6+ loads, and then towels too and a bedding load on rota. That's 8+ loads of washing.

We don't generate that much washing per week. We currently do 3-4 loads a week, sometimes a 5th.

So definitely inefficient for us.

@JenniferWooley

I snorted AGAIN

Yes, we just have one larger laundry basket which all three of us use. We keep on top of it and wash together, so we rarely have one full basket, let alone 3 or more of them around the house.

DCs are 14/11/6. The eldest two know that if their clothes aren’t in the relevant laundry bins in the bathroom (whites, lights, darks), then they’re not getting washed, dried and sorted. They also know it’s up to them to hang them/put them in drawers. If it’s not clean because it’s on their bedroom floor? That’s a them problem. Can’t find it because they didn’t put it away? That’s a them problem.

We recently moved house and this is my new system. I will take whatever basket is full, wash it, dry it, put theirs in a pile in the utility. Even my 6YO is happy to put her clothes on hangers and sit pairing socks up.

This kinda thing drives me nuts! As parents it's our job to raise them such that when they hit 18 they are competent, confident and useful adults.

Despite being brought up to have one laundry basket and everyone taking some form of responsibility for her laundry (and other chores) at some point or other, dd managed to go to university and be fully competent to manage to look after and clean for herself.

We had the same kind of thing happen at home growing up and I managed just fine too, when I went to university. Dh too. And our siblings,

There was no need for us to all do our own laundry individually to learn that. We just all learnt to chip in together as a family, rather than having my job, your job, type systems

My older lot aged between 12 and 17, I ask them if they need anything to be washed. If they do they will get their clothes and put them in the washing machine, I will wash and dry them and then they will take them back up to their rooms when it's ready. My 9 year old I'll just do his stuff and will ask him if there's anything he is after desperately. They all know how to use the washing machine and will do it if I'm not about, other than that I find it quicker to do it myself.

That's brilliant 🤣

This!

It makes no sense to put on 4 separate half loads when you can just wash everyone's stuff at once.

I expect mine to put stuff in the laundry basket and to put away the clean clothes when I give them their crate. Two of then survived Uni without running home to have their laundry done (and one hasn't gone yet!). They were bright enough to work out what to do - it's hardly rocket science!

18 when they went to University. They have always been involved in the whole process and helped me with it but I'm not having 4 people doing their own laundry in separate loads in this house. That's not efficient use of water, electricity, washing powder or drying space.

When I was a child my mum did a wash on set days. If your clothes weren't in the wash basket they didn't get washed. The clean clothes were returned to your room for you to put away. We were expected to help out every now and then as teens by putting a load in the machine and hanging it out.

I think having to wash their own clothes might actually lessen the overall amount of washing, to some extent. My youngest will throw jeans or jumpers in the wash after putting them on for a few hours after school, but I think doing her own washing will encourage her to re-think.

I think they're likely to put things off until they have enough for a full load. It's mostly me that would run into a problem of a less than full basket when I do my work clothes-- but then I can always find something extra that's worth washing 😁

I consider a norm to run one load of lights and one load of darks - a week for a family of four so not quite sure if each of you runs a load once a month?

Is this the washing equivalent of a MN chicken which lasts four meals? Are these four adult size people? It was a shock how much more space it takes to dry clothes as the children get older, hence they also take up more space in the machine.

We have one load of whites generally between us a week which we pool. Then each do on average a load a week/ fortnight. By the time you add in a couple of jumpers, tops, couple pairs jeans, underwear etc. it soon adds up. We just have a standard size washing machine. If there is space we do add in clothes for someone else and maybe both hang it out so the machine never runs empty. The key for me though is that I am no longer responsible for knowing what stage of washing 'my favourite top is, you know, the blue one which I got last summer in that shop and which I wore to Millie's party three weeks ago and I need it to go out now'. They know they need to take responsibility. It's not as if they go to school in grimey clothes, I will hint that the machine is empty if I see they haven't been down in a while and school uniform I manage. I am though more confident that they will have some idea of how regularly they will need to wash their clothes at uni and some of the process involved in washing their clothes. Why send them off to university to navigate it for the first time using a new machine when they are also learning to budget, cook most of their meals, make friends and hopefully get some studying done.

I am confident that my dc when they go to uni will be able to cook, clean their clothes, wash up, go food shopping. Less confident that they will manage to clean their rooms but got to leave something for them to learn!

Exactly. Most people are capable of working out the process eventually!

@Abraxan @A580Hojas totally agree with what you both said

Never 🤣🤣

Since she was 10 she's had to put her washing in the basket and put away clean clothes.

She's 16 now and can do her own ironing, albeit slowly!

She doesn't know how to use the washer yet but we'll have that lesson some point before she leaves for university!

We've had barnies over where a particular item of clothing is only to find it's never been put in the wash in tbe first place. I don't pick up her dirty washing, but get very annoyed uf I find clean on the floor. I have gone on strike too!

@Unexpecteddrivinginstructor We do the same amount per person as the person you quoted. One clothes wash between two of us a week. Two adult sized people.

My son did his own ironing from 14 but I did the laundry unless there was stuff he wanted doing. He's lived in his own since 18 so obviously does it now. I still do my 17 year old daughter's but I just take it out of the dryer and she brings it to her room and puts it away - fine that the last few years.

My kids have to put their dirty clothes into correct washing basket (light/dark)

I put on a light/dark wash of family clothes when needed. I ask kids to help hang up/bring in off line/fold as necessary.
If I have brought them in, I dump the basket in the middle of the house and shout at them to come and collect (I don't iron)
They have to strip their own beds (I wash and hang out bedding to dry) and also make Their own beds.

If they dis their own washing, it's be less efficient (lots small loads) and they wouldn't use eco settingetc, so it would cost me more.

I don't really get the whole have to do it young or they won't be able to do it when adults argument. My mum used to do all our washing when we were younger (as long as it was in the washing basket) but I was fine when I started doing my own; it's not exactly a difficult chore.

The people men who say they can't do washing or operate a machine are simply not doing it because they won't not because they can't,

Your children are old enough.
Mine are 10, they have always put their dirty clothes in a washing basket they share. I collect what I want to wash, put it in & out on the airer.
Once it’s dry they are asked/ told to fold the clothes, deliver to the correct person & put their own pile away.
the other jobs they do is the dishwasher every day.

Yes and I said it was roughly once a week or once a fortnight, probably in reality once every three weeks for some family members so I am not too sure what your point is. You wash for two people once a week. I wash for one person (me) once a fortnight. I think I am winning! I also do the school uniform wash but that is only because some of the teens would not worry about wearing dirty shirts. Who is the other person you are washing for and why are they unable to wash their own clothes?

I don't see how it's inefficient especially as my teens wait pretty much until they have few clean clothes left before they put a wash on which can be irritating but it is now their responsibility.

I spent enough time complaining about their rooms, the state of the kitchen, lack of recycling etc, giving them the responsibility for their own washing was one less thing to fight about. I gradually stopped doing it around the age of 15 and they were expected to do it themselves.

I did sometimes do school uniforms and have been known to very occasionally iron shirts when feeling kind which they are grateful for. I also round up towels when we are getting low but otherwise it's for them to sort out.