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What makes a women look frumpy

488 replies

Wherecanitbe · 20/08/2022 14:30

I am considering an overhaul of what I wear and my hairstyle. I am feeling a bit down and frumpy at the moment so thought this would be a positive change.

My overhaul is not going to be a drastic change , I cannot afford to purchase a whole new wardrobe of clothes,shoes and accessories. So please could you give me your items of clothing and / or hairstyles that in your opinion makes a women look frumpy.

This post is not meant to be offensive in anyway, I believe a person should wear whatever they wish regardless of whether another person thinks it's frumpy.

OP posts:
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mikado1 · 22/08/2022 10:20

Also adding, to think I need to do more of that give me a bit of a glow - put on the barest bit of make up rather than none. Decent cleansing/skincare routine. Move! Body brushing/exfoliating and moisturising. Get rid of the clothes you don't love or wear. Consider your favourite clothes/photo of yourself/item that people have admired on you and wear more/spend on similar.

BlueSkyAndButterflies · 22/08/2022 13:30

SoupDragon · 22/08/2022 08:25

Take the "good bra" advice. It doesn't matter how "good" it is if it doesn't suit your shape. A cheap bra from Primark that first well and flatters your body is far better.

That cheap bra from Primark you just described is the very definition of a "good bra". Good doesn't mean expensive. It means something that fits you properly and provides the support your breasts need.

SoupDragon · 22/08/2022 13:38

"good" implies costly, as the poster who mentioned it being out of her budget proves.

"well fitting" is a better phrase.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Maireas · 22/08/2022 14:49

Some excellent points on here; it's not a crime to age, get grey hair, go through the menopause or just be a little bit knocked by life. The most depressing comments were from women saying that this thread depressed them, they wear those things, they feel frumpy and worse about themselves.
It's like you said @mikado1 - we often admired Meghan's style, but the items don't suit everyone! On here it's been claim that florals, cardigans, necklaces, shorts (wtf), dresses and entire shops are frumpy. It's all bollox. It's about finding individual style and confidence.

sunglassesonthetable · 22/08/2022 16:26

I know that for some people finding their 'individual style and confidence' is a bit elusive.

Especially if they're low or vulnerable.

Sometimes they just want things spelt out.

Not only the concept. But the actual nuts and bolts.

Maireas · 22/08/2022 16:46

sunglassesonthetable · 22/08/2022 16:26

I know that for some people finding their 'individual style and confidence' is a bit elusive.

Especially if they're low or vulnerable.

Sometimes they just want things spelt out.

Not only the concept. But the actual nuts and bolts.

You're absolutely right! That's the trick. Finding it. On the Style and Beauty section I have to say that people get great advice - often someone has lost their style mojo and gets great ideas given. Sometimes specifically for a wedding or a holiday - but often generally. So I'd say, start a thread on there, the response is usually brilliant.

Blossomtoes · 22/08/2022 16:53

BlueSkyAndButterflies · 22/08/2022 13:30

That cheap bra from Primark you just described is the very definition of a "good bra". Good doesn't mean expensive. It means something that fits you properly and provides the support your breasts need.

This. The bras that do the most for me are £8 in Sainsbury’s. They’re the cheapest I’ve ever had and I don’t even think of going elsewhere now.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 22/08/2022 16:53

Just seen a Cos advert on Instagram.

Older women with elegant silver Bob. Although bobs are frumpy obviously.

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 16:57

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie- ok Miss Maple !

Miss Marple is aged about 75 - 90 in the stories. I think she is very stylish yet comfortably attired, the way she is dressed in the films and TV programmes.

The way she is underestimated is all about ageism and misogyny.

What makes a women look frumpy
What makes a women look frumpy
Maireas · 22/08/2022 17:04

Spot on, @Rosehugger. Just an old maid in a village. What could she know about life?

Rosehugger · 22/08/2022 17:04

And Angela Lansbury - absolutely iconic to me as a kid as to what mature women dress like! So smart, yet comfortable and practical!

What makes a women look frumpy
What makes a women look frumpy
Itwasntright · 22/08/2022 17:59

I'm definitely frumpy then. Short and fat, wear cardigans, cheap glasses, size 18, don't have time or money to get my hair done and all my clothes are secondhand. Ah well. We can't all be supermodels.

BlueSkyAndButterflies · 22/08/2022 18:31

SoupDragon · 22/08/2022 13:38

"good" implies costly, as the poster who mentioned it being out of her budget proves.

"well fitting" is a better phrase.

Nah just proves that you both think the same, doesn't prove you're right

Wherecanitbe · 22/08/2022 19:19

When I said "ok Miss Marple" I was referring to the poster who said they had searched my previous posts.

It was in no way a reference to how the character dresses!

OP posts:
FitYeDaeinYeMadRadge · 22/08/2022 19:33

I wonder if supermodels ever have a loss of style mojo moment when they are off duty @Itwasntright

i bet they do. Although It must be nice going through your life having someone dress you. But, they must also have to wear stuff they hate the look of. At least we have the luxury of pleasing ourselves. Apart from uniforms etc.

I love having a uniform. Takes pressure off, most days I only have to make a choice of which pjs to wear 😁

JaneJeffer · 22/08/2022 20:31

Nah just proves that you both think the same, doesn't prove you're right
You'd start an argument in an empty room

paisley256 · 22/08/2022 20:39

Well I know what makes me look frumpy, lots of baggy layers trying to hide lumps n bumps. It doesn't feel right to pull apart other women so I won't, but for me it's hunched shoulders and baggy sack clothing.

peaceandove · 22/08/2022 20:58

Poor posture.
The same, saggy black handbag with every outfit.
Cheap, black polyester trousers and a brightly coloured top.
Waterfall cardigans.
Supermarket trainers.
Zip front fleeces.
Anything bought from Bon Marche.
Hotter shoes.
Jeans that crease up at the ankle.
Frosted nail varnish.
God awful statement necklace.

PumpkinSpiceGirl · 22/08/2022 22:37

I find this interesting actually and it’s daft to pretend it doesn’t exist - I know I can look frumpy or mumsy or dowdy or matronly or whatever word you want to use, if I dress a certain way. I’m always keen to work out why. I’m not very thin, I’m short and have big boobs but if I dress to flatter my figure rather than try to hide it I don’t scrub up too bad.

I think it’s definitely not just about weight (although that can contribute) For me personally no nos would include:

Very plain clothes with few accessories. But too many can also look wrong, as though they are wearing the person rather than the other way round. I’ve ditched scarves for this reason - I love them but they feel far too fussy now

Costume jewellery (statement necklaces etc) but also very traditional gold chain, watch, rings etc. Chunky silver or something a bit arty looks much cooler

Very practical clothes - sensible dress, flat shoes, functional bag etc

Outdoorsy stuff like anoraks or those awful trousers/sandals especially if worn with smarter things eg jeans, leather boots, sensible bag.

Some floral patterns, tunics etc (White Stuff are very bad for this especially those made out of dishrag type material)

Shoes picked for comfort not style

There are a few colours that I don’t think ever look good especially some of those colour experts recommend - anything too bright and flat or sickly pastels

Clothes that don’t fit, especially underwear - sadly the matronly bosom is a thing

Not even attempting to keep up with fashion, wearing the same look and hairstyle and makeup for years

Generally dressing for comfort or practicality rather than to ‘make the best of yourself’ which might be sexist and ageist and misogynistic but basically most of us want to look nice

I think it’s a combination of looking like you’ve made no effort or don’t care about clothes and a coming across as a bit try-hard - a very fine balance and one I certainly don’t always get right!

mikado1 · 22/08/2022 23:31

God awful statement necklace 😂

mikado1 · 22/08/2022 23:32

I'm not even sure what a statement necklace is, as such, but that made me laugh!

ToGanymedeAndTitan · 23/08/2022 00:00

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 20/08/2022 14:58

Who gives a shit really?

Dress how you want.

This!
I'm probably what people would class as frumpy but do I give a shit?!
Do I heck lol
I wear what I like and feel comfortable/good in and so should you OP

ThinkingForEveryone · 23/08/2022 06:14

@Maireas sadly I am not 29 with pert boobs either😆 I'm nearer 40 and a size 18....see it gets even worse.
My point is, an outfit that would look okay on me probably would make the pert boobed 29 year old look 'frumpy' as most of us find a style that suits us.
As for advising the OP, I wouldn't know what to suggest other than people watching! I tend to look at others and if I see something I like I keep the idea until I'm next shopping for clothes and go for something similar! Admittedly I'm not very original 🙄

Riverlee · 23/08/2022 07:53

But everyone has a different shape, skin tone etc. So, what could look frumpy on one person would look lovely on another.

I went to a clothes party once. Tried on a lovely shimmery silver grey top. Looked awful on me. A friend tried the same top on, it made her glow and she ended up buying it. So the same top looked frumpy on me, but wow on her.

sunglassesonthetable · 23/08/2022 08:22

This!
I'm probably what people would class as frumpy but do I give a shit?!
Do I heck lol
I wear what I like and feel comfortable/good in and so should you OP

If she felt good and comfortable she wouldn't be posting. Does this help ? Not a jot. But you're Ok.