Feeling cheeky asking boyfriend for half for bills?

[louloubellavv]

I have lived in my flat (private rent not bought ) for 5 years.
After dating my boyfriend for a year he moved in on Sunday.
I don't know how to approach the bill situation.
Ask how much he will be contributing
I'm lucky my rent is only £400 for 2 bed and at the min my gas /electric is £100
So £500 I'm paying for bills
(Not including CT )
So if we were to go half's £250 each ...it would be such a massive help.
How do I bring it up?
He hasn't mentioned it?
All he has said so far is he will save a fortune now he doesn't have his £650 monthly bills

I know I'm stupid but feel a bit cheeky bringing money up.
I'm independent and can manage my own money -so I feel like I'm asking for a hand out

Half the costs and half the chores, them's the rules.

Fucking hell, op, you can't be such a doormat. You should have had all of these details worked out to your satisfaction well before moved in. He either pays half or he moves right back out. Never be such a pushover again.

There is little hope for your relationship if you think sorting out bills between the 2 of you is "cheeky."

When Did men stop wanting to be providers and protectors?
many just seem so weak and pathetic

Not to defend him but I think guys (particularly those who have lived at home) just sit back and don’t bother thinking about it. My boyfriend lived in my house for agesss before I eventually made a dig about it. It started to really annoy me that he had all this money to spend while my full wages were going on bills. He’d buy food shopping, pay for any dinners out but that was it. I eventually said to him and we split everything down the middle. I don’t think he was purposely trying to avoid paying for it but just didnt consider everything i was paying for

This in spades. You will be taken advantage of in every single relationship you have if you honestly feel this way.

Surely only weak and pathetic women need protection or protectors
capable and autonomous women don’t need protecting

All he has said so far is he will save a fortune now he doesn't have his £650 monthly bills

That to me sounds like he's expecting to pay for nothing but food.
be prepared for him to argue that you were paying it already so why should he now pay half as it's not costing you any extra having him there?
Standard cocklodger logic.

Also be prepared for your energy bills to go up, after all, if you are not paying the bills you don't care how much you use.

Protecting the family from eviction is something I consider an adults job?

What are you on about?op is a single woman with a tenancy,she’s solvent not facing eviction
shes foolishly moved her boyfriend in, prior to discussing finances
No one needs saved, or protected.

Oh I think we’ve already found our cocklodger…

I think that contributing to bills is providing and protecting
you don’t agree, so what?

me wondering why many men don’t seem to want to actually help women in any way (not with finances, household chores, raising children etc) makes me less of a woman in your eyes then ok?

No you’re now presenting an inaccurate summation. I didn’t call you less an anything. Don’t be making things up now @djdkdkddkek
I did query the curious protection/protector language. It feels very antiquated

Wow where do you live for it to be this cheap? I wouldnt even get a room for that little (not even in London/South).

If it was me I'd wait till pay day/ a month or so, wait for him to mention it. Failing that, I'd just have a frank open conversation and suggest you split all bills in half. Would mention you rent and not own (so it doesnt feel like hes paying your mortgage).

If he even hints that he will just pay for food as you already pay for rent etc. tha is all you need to hear to know he is out to use you.

How he responds to this discussion will tell you a lot.

Anything other than an enthusiastic wish to contribute means he is s loser.

Also, watch carefully if he cleans up, if not, he's a loser.

Don't waster your life on a lazy, tight loser....they are ten a penny.

What you should ask yourself Op is how would you behave if the situation were reversed and it was you moving into your BF's rented home. Would you have brought up the subject of how much you would be expected to contribute and discussed how your BF would like your share paid and when?

If, as I suspect, you would have been proactive in covering your share of rent and utilities, and wouldn't dream of living off someone else, then why would you accept anything less from your BF.

Good lass

Men have never been protectors, and they were only providers so they could control women and keep them at home.

Don't wait till pay day!

Ensure he knows he's paying half of everything. Bills, food, council tax etc.

If he complains you show him right back out the door.

That is so sad but you’re right

No man protects or provides for me, I’m solvent and I am ok.
Men providing is code for dependency upon them. Usually involves women giving up work to be provided for eg beholden to a man. That’s a mechanism of control

Half of outgoings.
Half of chores.
Anything less, give him a couple of weeks to find another place to live.

Wait, he's not paying his share of rent either? Or did I miss that?!

You are being take advantage of here. Of course he should pay half. I would expect half rent and half bills. PP is right- your bills will increase as a result of having someone else living there.

I’m not saying that Ken should be depended on in a way which lessens women. More that I thoight protecting your family was innate. animals protect their pairs and their young. Many Men these days seem to want to move in with women and just live on them and drain them of recourses, love,
prosperity, their beauty

it’s just such a shame

Op and her boyfriend aren’t a parents,there isn’t a family
they aren’t animals driven by instinct alone. Cohabitation It’s incomparable to animals with a pack or litter. Op and her boyfriend they’re sentient human beings driven by class,culture.finances, which will dictate how they behave. Your representing a fatalistic account of men and women, if men are draining resources then surely women need to be saying no, hang on there beauty thief