Feeling cheeky asking boyfriend for half for bills?

[louloubellavv]

I have lived in my flat (private rent not bought ) for 5 years.
After dating my boyfriend for a year he moved in on Sunday.
I don't know how to approach the bill situation.
Ask how much he will be contributing
I'm lucky my rent is only £400 for 2 bed and at the min my gas /electric is £100
So £500 I'm paying for bills
(Not including CT )
So if we were to go half's £250 each ...it would be such a massive help.
How do I bring it up?
He hasn't mentioned it?
All he has said so far is he will save a fortune now he doesn't have his £650 monthly bills

I know I'm stupid but feel a bit cheeky bringing money up.
I'm independent and can manage my own money -so I feel like I'm asking for a hand out

Why is everyone jumping on this guy? If op is this uncomfortable bringing this subject up, it's equally possible that so is her boyfriend. I'm not discounting the possibility that he is a complete jerk that is using op and has no plans to pay his share. But let's give him the opportunity to be one! Usually a reaction to a conversation is a lot more telling than assumptions.

Because when you move into someone else's home, you should talk to them about bills first. Make it clear you're going to pay your way. And this guy has done anything but.

No advice that tops PP advice really...
But...where on earth do u live that has a 2 bed flat for £400 pcm?!
I live in the butt crack of not-in-demand suburbia, and even here that’s a steal!!

DD is looking for a flat in Newcastle, and they are much more expensive than that.

I'm near Sunderland and I've had 3 two bed houses in the past for 400 per month. Current house is 3 bed, semi, newish build, garage and gardens 550 per month. Depends on the area for transport links, property values etc.

About food and shopping and housework, here is a little tip.

When I moved my boyfriend into my flat, we worked out an incredibly simple and fair scheme for housework and food. From the 1st of the month to the last day of the month, I did all the shopping, paying and cooking, whilst he did all the housework (including washing up after the meal. Then on 1st next month, we swapped, and carried on alternating through the year. This worked perfectly for 5 years, without a glitch.

Finance-wise we opened a joint bank account and both paid in the same amount each month.

It was the saving £650 part for me. As the BF is the one moving in you would think he would raise the subject first? He obviously feels comfortable enough to move in with OP

He needs to pay half, tricky conversation that needs to be had if he's not offering.
On another note, does your landlord know he has moved in and put him on your tenancy agreement? If your landlord does know and he has been put on the tenancy agreement your boyfriend is liable for half the rent. If your landlord doesn't know and your boyfriend has not been put on the agreement you are probably in breach of your tenancy and likely to be evicted!

Us girls are just realising what we did and still do, ie expecting the men and boys to pick up the tab for everything

🙈

No, plenty of WOMEN don't and never have.

Keep it simple and straight - ‘my direct debit for the rent goes out on x date so please set up a standing order to arrive the day before. Bills cost about y so why not add on half of y to the DD.’
and what about food?

Girls?

I don't know how much rent you expect a child to pay from their paper round or Saturday job, but I think it's a bit gross you expect them to set up home with adult men when they've not even reached full adulthood yet.

I’m flabbergasted and don’t have a good feeling about this fella’s intentions.

He didn't move into his mums, so I don't know why he would think it's for free. All you can do at this point is start the conversation about the bills. Also it's not about the fact you had the money to pay for it before, the living situation has changed, just like him moving out of his old place, he still has the money to pay. The situation is, you both are living and sharing a space, so you both should contribute equally. Regardless of renting or owned, if you live somewhere, it should be split. I understand having a joint account and both putting the same amounts into, but that would require moving all the direct debits over to that account, also trust that the other person wouldn't dip into the bills account or take everything. So him transferring you every month makes sense to me, also don't allow late payments from him or any excuses. He was okay paying 650 before so paying his way now shouldn't be a problem. Don't allow yourself to be used, and this isn't an opportunity for him to save all his money and you not. Its about fairness and respect, also common sense. You have both decided to share accommodation and be together, so just have to sit down and take no less than half. Good luck!

Why wouldn’t he also pay council tax?

Make a list of everything you pay for ok. Food, rent, water, gas etc and split it down the half and both pay half or else resentment will grow and ruin the relationship. To be honest you should have talked about all this before. He is saving money by money in with you even when paying half of everything at yours. Just do it today and if he has an issue I would be telling him to move back out as you are not his mum.

You need a joint account in which to deposit an equal amount monthly

This acc will cover rent; council tax, bills, food shop plus any unforseen expenses

No, I don't think she does. I'd avoid getting link any further with this man.

And this ^ He will have to pay substantially more than £250, ct, water, broadband and any TV subs. £400 minimum and do not be waiting on him offering.

He must pay half of everything. Rent, energy, food, broadband, tv and cleaning stuff.
Get it out of the way right now before he talked it for granted that you're paying for the lot. No no no no. He's using you if he refuses to pay.

Yes, also you lose the single occupancy 25% off council tax so he'll have to pay half the full amount. Otherwise you're paying for his rubbish to be collected and roads to be mended and street lighting etc. Are you crazy? I hope not.

I have had a similar discussion with a family member. I did a spreadsheet , including annual costs such as insurance and the garden bin charge , tv lisence etc ( it all adds up) and then split over 12 months. Left it on the kitchen table and casually mentioned it at breakfast - along the lines of Oh btw here is a breakdown of household costs - I’ll give you my bank details - can you make sure your half is in by the 5h? Thanks. And remember he is still making g a huge saving by with you - so don’t be shy, he certainly isn’t.

Write a list of
Rent
Electric
Gas
Water
Internet
Food
Council tax
Other household bills.

Divide by two.simple. if he doesn't like it he can go.

When OH and I moved in we split bills - and it caused lots of arguments. I'd pay for food he'd pay for bills - we each thought the other was paying less (turned out I was paying more than him - much to his surprise)

In the end, we created a joint account and all bills (CT, food, energy ect) came out of the joint account - we even split it (he paid in more than me - we ended up with the same level of free money... each!) We both worked FT - but mens wages meant he earnt more than me.