Feeling cheeky asking boyfriend for half for bills?

[louloubellavv]

I have lived in my flat (private rent not bought ) for 5 years.
After dating my boyfriend for a year he moved in on Sunday.
I don't know how to approach the bill situation.
Ask how much he will be contributing
I'm lucky my rent is only £400 for 2 bed and at the min my gas /electric is £100
So £500 I'm paying for bills
(Not including CT )
So if we were to go half's £250 each ...it would be such a massive help.
How do I bring it up?
He hasn't mentioned it?
All he has said so far is he will save a fortune now he doesn't have his £650 monthly bills

I know I'm stupid but feel a bit cheeky bringing money up.
I'm independent and can manage my own money -so I feel like I'm asking for a hand out

You are not mature enough to live with another adult if you can’t sit him down and make it very clear that he needs to cover half of the rent and half of all bills.

Of course he should go halves. If he is at all ‘funny’ about paying his share, that’d be a red flag to me.

IMO there should be a nice tasteful sign to put by the front door: ‘Chuggers, anyone selling anything, and cocklodgers not welcome here, so kindly sod off.’

Hoping dear? Hoping?
Have you not seen any of the threads about cocklodgers?

Just tell him the bills. Include everything like food. Give him your bank details to set up a dd . Simples

Sometimes I read a post and I hope they are a troll just because it is so depressing to read a post like this and know that it is a real person posting.

Being an independent woman is not the same as being a doormat, in fact they are polar opposites. Your bills will increase now that another person is living with you, please do not agree a fixed amount they all need to be split equally.

Agree with talking to him today, don't wait till payday.

Living together should be financially advantageous for both people. You should both be better off, not just him.

Does he earn the same as you?

Go on your online banking and look at all of your expenditure: direct debits, standing orders, annual costs like insurance, etc. List everything then work out his fair share.

Is this the boyfriend that got evicted?

How have you not discussed this already?

You need to sort it tonight otherwise he is taking you for a complete mug.

Gosh, so many people assuming that he intends to move in and pay nothing.

Even if he pays half he is still going to be saving so much on what he was paying so why would him saying that he is going to be saving a heap mean he isn't intending to pay anything?

He probably hasn't brought it up because he is just assuming they will split the bills/rent etc.

Save the judgment for when you find out whether he is the jerk you all think he is (based on nothing whatsoever so far) or if he a decent guy who is well aware of the cost of living and willing to pay his share.

You need to sit down and make a list.

rent
council tax
insurance (contents)
water (?)
gas and electricity (with conversation about probable increase)
tv license
tv subscriptions
broadband
cleaning materials/loo roll etc
replacing things fund for white goods, furniture etc (£20 each a month puts a good dent in replacing something you need)

Lol with the acting like you know him better than the op, 🤣

Agree with PP this should have been discussed at the time you both agreed to live together but hey, can't be helped.
£250 may not be enough though. Electricity and gas will increase, not just with the prices in autumn but now with more washing etc to do. Water will increase, unless that's included in your rent. You'll lose the single person discount on council tax, as he's living in the property he should pay half the full bill. Then there's food. Is he having use of your broadband and subscriptions? Or does he have his own you could benefit from to even things out?
Write a list of every bill, how much, increase your utility payments now so you don't fall behind and then decide between yourselves who pays what or if you want to organise and keep everything in your name ask for half the total amount each month. Take turns buying take aways, treats etc. Make sure to discuss big purchases in future, needing a new cooker for example, pay half each but agree which one to buy together.
Maybe he felt awkward bringing up the conversation too? Impossible to tell without knowing him, but sure you both will save in the long run if everything split correctly.

How can you be at the point of moving in with a partner and not prepared to openly discuss the finances? I can't understand it.

Surely it's as simple as adding up all the bills and telling him what half of it is. Then you either set up a joint account, both pay in there and have all bills coming out, or he transfers his half to you every month to sort it.

If you don't feel that you can discuss this, why have you decided to live together?

Plus TV licence

Plus groceries - food but also cleaning products, hand soap, bin bags, food caddy bags, etc etc.

Add it ALL up and he pays 50%, standing order so you’re not faffing each month. If something is needed for the flat, like a new hoover or TV, you can decide: 50:50, or does one of you buy it outright and you keep track so if you split, that person gets that object, rather than reimbursing the other.

Also have the division of labour discussion: cleaning, cooking, tidying, shopping, meal planning, laundry.

You don't just "hope" he gives you half, you ask him for it. Or tell him he's welcome to find somewhere else for £250 a month.

I despair, if you don't feel comfortable discussing finances and responsibilities you shouldn't be living together.

Ask him which day of the month does he want to set up a standing order for £250 towards the rent/bills, and ask how you will be handling the food shopping. alternating? One shops, other pays half? etc Be matter of fact.

You should have discussed this before you let him move in, of course, but you didn't, so sort it immediately.

you make this a formal arrangement with direct debits arranged and clear written plan
or he moves out
you can’t hope or hint that he’ll do right thing. He’s shown no evidence that he will
stop being so passive and wet. Hope doesn’t fill the fridge. Hope doesn’t pay bills.
Hes £650 up on deal meanwhile you’re fretting about money. C,Mon wakey wakey

Please will everyone stop saying it's £250?

That figure does not include council tax, water rates, insurance, tv licence, broadband and maybe other things.

OP ask him for £325. That is half what he used to pay.

@louloubellavv one thing i learned, if you don't ask you don't get. Do what is best for you because believe me men will always do what is best for them

Just tell him what his half is and when it's due. If everything's in your name and it will stay that way for now, it's up to you if you lump everything together and tell him he owes x amount per month, or if you break it out - e.g., he owes £200 for rent and £50 for gas and electric. Don't forget any other costs like internet, food, etc.

have you texted him yet? It’s probably better to find out he’s a free loader before you disappoint yourself waiting for his payday bank transfer that he’s hoping you won’t chase up

And set up a cooking rota, you take it in turns to cook, he shouldn't expect you to do it every night.

Where did OP say he wasn't going to pay?

All I see is that they haven't talked about it..... Something else written there that I missed?

dont be a pushover, just tell him that half the amount now goes to him, also you have removed the other bills from that, Food and household etc,
He should pay half rent, half bills and half household shop

Dont let him cocklodge you for life because if you dont put in the rules now then he will get used to using you.