Feeling cheeky asking boyfriend for half for bills?

[louloubellavv]

I have lived in my flat (private rent not bought ) for 5 years.
After dating my boyfriend for a year he moved in on Sunday.
I don't know how to approach the bill situation.
Ask how much he will be contributing
I'm lucky my rent is only £400 for 2 bed and at the min my gas /electric is £100
So £500 I'm paying for bills
(Not including CT )
So if we were to go half's £250 each ...it would be such a massive help.
How do I bring it up?
He hasn't mentioned it?
All he has said so far is he will save a fortune now he doesn't have his £650 monthly bills

I know I'm stupid but feel a bit cheeky bringing money up.
I'm independent and can manage my own money -so I feel like I'm asking for a hand out

I’d be willing to guess that before he moved in, he had a good discussion with you about where his PlayStation would go.

It’s way more than three hundred a month Inc food. How rich are you you forget things and want to pay for him to live.

insurance, water, electricity, gas, council tax, broadband, rent,streaming services Ie Netflix, Amazon, etc

then half for food drink etc set up a joint account all bills paid from there. In the interim he transfers to you.

Why has he moved in without these conversations? Not only ALL bills to consider (no matter how small) but also what happens if your tv breaks down? The sofa needs replacing? He's basically cock lodging and you are enabling it.

This should have been discussed before he moved in. What happens if he refuses?

Simply state "Your half of the living costs are £250. I need a monthly direct debit - here are my bank details".

Don't get into any 'discussion'. If he objects in any way tell him, "That's the cost. You surely didn't think you were going to live for free? I'm not your mother! Either share the costs or leave".

If he objects again, just tell him to pack up and go. It's not worth the aggro.

Do this right away. Establish a method of paying bills that is equitable and then stick with it. If you are serious about him then you might go on to have children or get married and, trust me, it's much harder to change things once you're that entwined. If he balks at paying half or shirks in any way, get rid. It will only get worse.

Start as you mean to go on.

I probably wouldn't give a set figure on electric/gas/water yet either as you won't really know what the monthly/quarterly costs of those are. They should probably be halved on every bill or a set amount you each pay for those to cover them.

Whose idea was is to move in?

So he saves money because you are paying his share! I despair are you very young?Please have more respect for yourself.Tell him in plain English today this is what the bills are his share is half.Please do not let this continue you will really regret it .£100 for food is not enough unless you plan on eating next to nothing.Remember you need to save life is going to be very hard in the next few months ,years .Good luck.

The other reason you need to do this op and you need to do it properly not just the 250 but proper half. Is that he’s going to have a lot of disposable income and be out partying with his mates, buying stuff for himself, saving for his own home whilst you pay for him . You’re going to resent him really quickly, so you need to do this fast and do it properly.

You’re not Beyoncé in the Independent Women music video- you’re a mug if you’ve allowed him to move in without laying down the basics

You can’t ‘manage your money’ if you are going sleepwalk into a cocklodger situation.

You need to speak to him about this today. If he is not happily offering to pay his share of bills AND rent, or more proportionally if he earns much more than you- this will not end well.

Agree with above that you need to do a proper list of outgoings to do with the house and tell him to pay half. I would have thought £250 a month would barely cover the increase in your council tax let alone the cost of an extra person using electricity, gas and water.

All he has said so far is he will save a fortune now he doesn't have his £650 monthly bills

This comment would have made me want to chuck him out the window 🙈

Maybe he meant because you'll now be paying one lot of rent and bills 50/50 instead of a whole set each?

A joint account for shared bills would be best, unless he's useless with money (debt and not paying things on time) because in that case you don't want to connect yourself to him financially.

Work out how much rent, council tax, utilities, insurance, shared subscriptions etc are with a bit extra irregular purchases and when gas/electricity goes up and both set up a standing order to pay 50/50.

If you're shopping jointly for groceries, he needs to be paying at least half of that too, more so if he has more expensive tastes or eats significantly more than you.

How does you brain manage to think this is you asking for a handout??

You both live there, you both pay the same amount.

I can understand this stuff being more complicated when it's a mortgage being paid off (as one person is getting equity etc) or there are kids that need childcare, or blended families etc, but you're renting and it's just the two of you. This is as easy as it gets!

I'm imagining him and his mates, chuckling over a pint about how he's landed on his feet with you.

It doesn't bode well how he was talking about how much he would be saving and not discussing with you how much he should be paying you

Just act as if it’s a given and already agreed. No fuss or asking. Just matter of fact convo.

say “I’ll text you my bank details so you can set up a standing order for £250. We’ll have to review the later when we know how much the gas and electric are going up by”
Then text him

Or if he’s already got your bank details. “Can you set up a standing order for x amount, sooner rather than later please”

Whether you are bothered or not, he should pay half of broadband and everything else. Don't be a doormat.

I'd reconsider simply because HE should have been the one to bring up finances. Big red flag.

This should have been discussed and agreed upon before he moved in. If you are close enough to live together surely you can talk too? Rent and electricity are not all the bills are they? You also have council tax which will go up from 75 percent to 100 percent, house insurance, TV/Netflix, broadband, TV licence, water rates. Sit down together and work it out. Oh, plus food. Work out cooking and cleaning rota too.

My DD always ends up in relationships were she's footing the bill - it winds me up so much so I may be projecting in my previous replies to you 🙈

One wanker she was with asked her to take him to work as he doesn't drive. He worked away through the week so on a weekend she'd go to pick him up (2hrs there and back) and drop him back off on a Sunday. In the end she asked him for money towards fuel which he reluctantly agreed to. One Sunday she was dropping him back at work and as they approached the work gates he got a phone call to say he wasn't needed and he could have a few days off so the cheeky fucker asked for the petrol money back 😳

Thankfully she seems to have got her shit together and doesn't put up with this type of shite anymore. I urge you OP, sort it out before you become mummy to an overgrown toddler!

Did you want him to move in or did he ask?

I can’t even read the whole thread, I can’t believe you let someone else move in without even sorting this, surely it’s the most basic conversation ever?

get a backbone OP and sort it out.

In most housing situations, overheads will be:
Rent
Gas and electricity
Water
Council tax
Broadband
TV sub services
Contents insurance

You should half the costs of all of these. It should be cheaper for both of you, not just him!