Feeling cheeky asking boyfriend for half for bills?

[louloubellavv]

I have lived in my flat (private rent not bought ) for 5 years.
After dating my boyfriend for a year he moved in on Sunday.
I don't know how to approach the bill situation.
Ask how much he will be contributing
I'm lucky my rent is only £400 for 2 bed and at the min my gas /electric is £100
So £500 I'm paying for bills
(Not including CT )
So if we were to go half's £250 each ...it would be such a massive help.
How do I bring it up?
He hasn't mentioned it?
All he has said so far is he will save a fortune now he doesn't have his £650 monthly bills

I know I'm stupid but feel a bit cheeky bringing money up.
I'm independent and can manage my own money -so I feel like I'm asking for a hand out

He should be paying half of everything he uses. Rent, CT, electric, gas, broadband, food.
Why on earth did you not discuss this previously.

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet but you shouldn't tell him a flat 250 as bills are different for one person compared to 2. Your gas/electric/water etc will go up so he needs to know that whatever the bills are he will need to pay HALF.

And OP you shouldn't tip toe around this, I'm really confused as to why this wasn't discussed before he moved in I mean this is common knowledge, unless you're filthy rich and you don't mind paying bills for people.

What are the chances this guy doesn't pay half and also doesn't do half the housework...

When he said 'great I'll be saving £650pm' you should have days something then!

but you're not being cheeky or grabby, why the hell should you pay all the bills.

compared to you I'm ancient! (53) so have met a lot of cheeky fuckers along the way. Personally I think he should move back out and you should set this one free! He clearly doesn't care about your financial situation!!
if he's selfish like this, he'll be selfish in other ways too.

but given you probably won't do that (I wouldn't have taken advice at your age either)

For god sake make sure your contraception is GOOD!!

tell him he needs to pay half of ALL BILLS (not a set amount as you'll be hesitant to put that up as bills go up!)

top of my head. (I know you said tv but I'm a bit confused what you do/don't pay for!!)

• Rent
• council tax
• electric
• gas
• water (might be in your rent?)
• tv licence
• steaming
• contents insurance
• Any other household bills

*obviously food shopping!

best of luck with this one. Do not get taken for a rude, cheeky cocklodgers are easily replaced, especially when you're young!!

Are you usually so fucking wet?

”here’s my bank details, just set up a standing order for £250 for your share of the bills”

But it’s not £250, he used to pay £650 so at least £325

Personally, I don't think in relationships that's are bf/gf an equal split if the bills when you rent us fair, it doesn't matter what you earn. Sure if one is already a much bigger earner and wants to put a bit more in, great, but st this stage of life your earnings are really your own, unless you decide it's a proper commitment to share your future life & finances.

@louloubellavv open a joint account from which all the bills go out, pay enough extra in for food and he and you both pay a set amount in there a month to cover the bills/rent. Include insurance, broadband, everything household related. Everything else is your own. Have that conversation now. Start with ‘just want to show you what the costs are, although you will be massively better off and so will I, we can each pay in £xxx a month and everything else in our own accounts is our own. That way we won’t argue about money and we are still financially independent but the bills get paid’

Do not wait until payday and hope.
Have the conversation tonight. He needs to know what your expectations are so that he can plan.
50% seems fair.
List all of the bills. Write a list and share it with him so that he is confronted with facts.
If he doesn't intend to pay, he can move out.

Don’t hope and wait, ask him to sit down tonight and talk about splitting the bills. If he doesn’t give you half of everything, then it’s over and he’s out.

You have been very silly here - bet he's hoping to get away with it cheeky sod!

He needs to be paying rent! Why should he get free housing whilst you pay for the roof over his head? Both of you should be reaping the benefits of reduced housing costs that come along with flat sharing, and that means going halves. I can almost hear him already "but you pay X amount to rent this place anyway so it makes no difference whether I'm here or not". Umm nope. There's an opportunity for you both to save some cash. He wants to use it as an opportunity for him to save ALL the cash at your expense. Selfish bastard.

Unfortunately the fact that he is prepared to allow you to support him financially and furthermore that he's twatty enough to then brag to you about how much cash he's saving (while you pay for his living expenses) is basically a death knell for your relationship. Or it should be. He's a pisstaker and he's perfectly happy to walk all over you if you'll allow it. Why would you want to be with someone like that? Don't you want a partner who has got your back?? Without having to be asked?

I wish I could shake you by the shoulders. Get rid of this cock lodger and then do some work on yourself to learn how to be assertive! You can't wait around being quiet and nice for people to hand you what should be yours; you have to take it!

@louloubellavv

be bothered! Everything is about to go up. Yes broadband is currently 'only' £25, but he's using it, why shouldn't he pay half?

half of the actual council tax!

stop feeling like you need to sub him because you lived there first & paid the bills alone! If you'd both moved into a new flat would you be taking in lots of the bills by yourself?

Also - men eat way more than most woman - you need to consider this as well.

Have you let your landlord/ letting agent now he has moved in? You may be in breech of contract, and at the moment with interest rates rising LL are looking for an easy excuse to evict so that they can sell or let to new tenants at higher rent.

Definitely give him the bank details and say that a standing order needs to be set up.

50/50 why would it be anything else? If he complains, ultimate red flag.

@SquishyGloopyBum , my first thought. I bet it is related to the eviction post. I hope I'm wrong.

Ooohh noooo, it should have been a condition of moving in to split bills. Say it to him immediately!!!

So I'm hoping payday he just gives me the half.

For goodness sake OP, get a grip! You need to present him with the total list of bills and ask if him if he's going to set up a standing order or some other means of regularly paying them.

My broadband is only £25 so I'm not too bothered

I despair! Don't start off as a mug, he'll only take the piss more and more.

Look do yourself a favour, tell him you’re in breach of tenancy and he has to move out

Why oh why are some women some stupid..

Surely he cannot expect to stay in your flat for FREE? Or maybe he thinks paying for food sometimes will do it. After all you were OK to afford bills before he moved in!

This is on YOU btw and for YOU to fix. Gets me really annoyed that some women behave like this.

Agree £250 isn't enough, but half of what he used to pay isn't right either. He needs to pay half of the bills where he is NOW!!

It's got to be a minimum of £400 each. Do not quote £250 to him!

Rent is £400
Gas/Electric is £100
Council Tax must be in the region of £100
Food £200

Thats £800 before all the other things you've forgotten

He's still saving money each month.

I'm independent and can manage my own money -so I feel like I'm asking for a hand out

He's taking the piss if he doesn't pay half. Why on earth should you subsidise him?!?! He's not your dependent.

Exactly!! So it shouldn't be a set amount as it may vary. She needs to make that clear.