Partner in agony.. but won't let me take him to hospital!

[itsoneofthosethings]

Last night at around 7pm, my DP started to get chest pains similar to heartburn. We kept an eye on it, and he took some heartburn relief gaviscon to try to ease the pain (which he said didn't touch it)

Come 9pm and he was doubled over in agony.. he's been up all night, sick every 45 mins / an hour and is white as a sheet, shaking like a leaf and really clammy. His chest is agony he says, and nothing I've tried to give him has eased the pain whatsoever. His back and shoulders are now hurting, too.
I've just woken up to find him lying on the bathroom floor to try to help his back. I've never heard him be sick like he was last night.. and he's almost in tears with his chest.

For context, he had gastric sleeve surgery in February this year, and I'm concerned it could be connected to this? I wanted to take him down to A&E but he insists he doesn't need to.

I'm really concerned..

I would tell him he either gets in the damn car, or you're calling 999 and the paramedics can deal with him.

It's a well known fact to take an aspirin for a suspected heart attack, it can save your life

From my experience 111 passes your call to 999 anyway if they think it’s serious, so no harm ringing 111. (Happened 3 or 4 times for me)

Tell him you don't want a dead man in your bathroom. It's a right fucking mess to clean up. You're calling 999.

When my DP tried similar, I called 111 first, a triage doctor called back and asked if I was able to drive him to A&E, I said yes, if DP would let me. Doctor then asked to be passed to DP. I don't know what he said, but DP got in the car. He got put on morphine pretty quickly after we got there.

Take control and phone 999

Call 999

He's clearly not thinking straight.

Good lord, call 999 which I’m hoping you have done many hours ago.
Ignore any armchair diagnoses there are much more pressingly serious things this could be.
Do not give aspirin, paramedics will assess and decide.
(Actual Dr here who wouldn’t attempt to diagnose this over the internet as gallstones)

No , you're not.

This is a 999 situation.

OP, you need to treat this as someone who is so sick they are not in their right mind. I have been ill like that myself: so sick I desperately needed ambulance (your husband has all the symptoms of possible heart attack or surgery complications; needs help NOW) but insisting that I didn’t want to leave my own toilet and needed to keep being ill at home. It is a vulnerable fear instinct, I think. This is when we need our loved ones to ignore us and call 999 for us. If he is angry later, which I doubt he will be (I never was), a doctor will definitely support your decision.

I hope you've managed to get him to hospital OP

111 took 40 minutes to answer the phone when I called recently. I wouldn't use them for an emergency situation.

Call an ambulance, someone at work had these symptoms and it was a heart attack

OP if you need it there's a 111 online service that asks the same questions they do on the phone. Get him to do that so he can see for himself that he needs an ambulance.

Definitely 999. I had chest pains a few weeks ago. Was pretty certain it was heartburn and a pulled muscle but called the non-emergency line and they set me over to the emergency immediately. You don't sit around with chest pains and see what happens. Fortunately it turned out for me to be what I thought it might be.

By the time I write this, I hope your DP is receiving medical attention.. Similar symptoms were the onset of a heart attack. Holding your hand....

He needs A&E assessment. I say this as a doctor. Please call an ambulance if you can’t safely get him there yourself.

If he won’t go, point to him how scared you are and awful it would be for you if he died and tell him to stop being selfish.

It could be many things so please don’t listen to peoples diagnosis over the internet , all are life threatening though , he needs to be in hospital so phone 999 and don’t give any medication as some treatments for an MI could be harmful if he has a perforated stomach or bowel . 999

Hope you’re on your way to A&E now!

My dh did this once with similar symptoms. I told him he either got in the car so I could take him to A&E or I was calling 999. He got in the car. (We’re rural and it’s quicker to take someone rather than wait for an ambulance).

Good God, why are you even asking him - are you going to let him potentially die from a heart attack because he’s a stubborn fool? Just call 999 and either get an ambulance or drive him immediately if quicker to A&E. Time is of the essence here!!!

Could be heart, in which case the aspirin advice is good (300mg is a good loading dose), but if it’s stomach then aspirin will be the last thing you want to give. It may be gallbladder, but that’s an awfully long time to be having an acute episode, usually they are 2-3 hours and happen a few hours after a fatty meal. Also assuming he’s not eating fatty meals given gastric sleeve.

Just get him to A&E as fast as you possibly can.

Hope you have contacted 999.

Hope you called 111 or 999 and he’s now being looked at

my DH has had 2 episodes in his life where he refused to have an ambulance called

in both cases I called 111, and they alerted 999, in both cases it was life threatening (anaphylaxis) but DH would keep insisting he was fine. Then he’d pass out.

ambulance comes quickly if symptoms are serious, and even if it turns out to be nothing serious (heartburn) nobody will tell you off

some people are just very stubborn

best wishes

Hope you're in A&E now...

@itsoneofthosethings

I do hope you're getting help.

Your post gave me goosebumps.

My husband had similar pain in his chest and back. It was his heart. This started back in March - we're still muddling through the repercussions. H refused to go to hospital initially - it's a nightmare. He ended up having a massive surgery.

Looking back - he was having gaviscon for a couple of days before he eventually went to hospital because he thought it was heartburn.

@olympicsrock helped me through a very difficult time. She's a guardian angel. Take her advice - always.

You need to take control of this situation and call an ambulance. My DH was a nightmare and once argued with me about calling an ambulance and even convinced his brother it could wait a night. Lucky for him I ignored him and called an ambulance and he was rushed to ITU with sepsis.